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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how old you were?

586 replies

HarrysOwl · 12/04/2019 07:35

When you got married? (If you're married!)

I was reading a BBC article about a woman talking about the judgement and negativity she encountered when she announced her engagement aged 22.

I was 32 when I married DH. We were together for 3 years, got engaged then lived together for another 4 years before having our wedding. I wanted to be as sure as I could be and felt no rush.

Is there a general judgement with feminist overtones about getting married so young? Are they doomed to divorce?

OP posts:
bebeboeuf · 12/04/2019 09:39

26 married to childhood sweetheart, divorced 2 years later.

33 married for the second time

HoldMyGirl · 12/04/2019 09:39

Wow, you were all so young.

I was 30, DH was 33.

That would be typical of our circle, probably even a little on the younger side.

MadisonAvenue · 12/04/2019 09:40

Met at 15, living together at 21, first child at 27, married at 28.

Been married 20 years.

ukgift2016 · 12/04/2019 09:40

I was 22 when I married and had a baby with my sbeh.

It didn't work out. I am now 29.

I would advice my daughter against getting married in your early 20s.

BadPennyNoBiscuit · 12/04/2019 09:40

Is there a general judgement with feminist overtones about getting married so young?

Not as far as I'm aware, unless the girl is a child.

GrouchyKiwi · 12/04/2019 09:41
  1. DH was 23. Been married nearly 11 years now. Our relationship has only grown stronger.
TotheletterofthelawTHELETTER · 12/04/2019 09:41

Engaged at 23, married at 24, divorced at 31.

With hindsight, I was too young. I didn’t feel it at the time but 24 is just a baby. I had so much I wanted to do, that I thought we would do together, but it turned out we didn’t want the same things.

jamiecooks · 12/04/2019 09:42

Getting married this year. I’m 40 and won’t be far off 41 then. Only met my OH at 36, got engaged at 38 (almost 39) and we put off wedding to have a baby given my age.

hellotoyellow · 12/04/2019 09:42
  1. Got engaged after a year, married a year later. Now 32 and first baby due soon. We both really wanted to be married, and it felt right, and also legally to protect us both when buying a house. My parents thought I was too young but we have always been very happy with our decision (plus we had a much more low key and chilled wedding than our friends seem to be having now!).

My husband is one of the best feminists I know.

Lulu1919 · 12/04/2019 09:42

I was 21 and we’ve been married for nearly 30 years
My husband was 24

Dagnabit · 12/04/2019 09:44

Married at 39 - although we had been together 11 years by that point with two children. Married for almost 4 years now.

BenjiB · 12/04/2019 09:45

I was 31, we got engaged after 3 weeks and married 9 years later. 24 years together now, 3 children.

Shutuptodd · 12/04/2019 09:46

I haven't been married but my mum got married at 16 to my dad 28 while pregnant with me. That raised a few eyebrows. They were together for 20yrs until he died. She is now in her early 50s and remarried.

Scoose · 12/04/2019 09:46

We met when I was 22 and got married when I was 27. We have been together for 15 years and it's our ten year wedding anniversary this year

notacooldad · 12/04/2019 09:47

I was 31 and had been with Dp for 6 years and ds1 was 3 months old.

Khara · 12/04/2019 09:47

Met aged 20 (nearly 21), married at 24. 25th anniversary later this year.

AryaStarkWolf · 12/04/2019 09:48

Met my Dh when I was 24, married at 28 and we've been married 12 years now

Halfling · 12/04/2019 09:49

Met DH at 24y, got married at 29. Twelve years in and 2DCs, we are still doing alright. Rough patches now and then but we always try hard to work things out.

OneDayillSleep · 12/04/2019 09:49

We met at 21, although I knew of him since I was little (same schools). Married at 32. I could have married a couple of years earlier, I was ready to, we are very happily married with 2 children though.

Presh12345 · 12/04/2019 09:52

Married at 33, widowed at 34. Very happily married again at 38. Now 40.

alittlequinnie · 12/04/2019 09:54

I married my first husband when I was 16 - my Mum and Dad had to sign the papers to give "permission".

I had only known him for 6 months, was already 4 months pregnant and he was 28 and divorced!

I left him when I was 27.

I look back on it now and I can't believe I did it - or that my Mum and Dad let me!

I met my second husband when I was 27, moved in with him a year later and married him when I was 37. I'm 48 now and very very happily married.

I wouldn't recommend getting married at 16 - not least because you are not old enough to drink a toast at your own wedding!

WildFlower2019 · 12/04/2019 09:55

I was 32. We'd been together nearly 9 years at the time.

Coming up to our first anniversary now & 10 years together.

Billoddiesbeard · 12/04/2019 09:56

First got together when we were 14.
Engaged at 21
Moved in together at 22
Married at 31 - we have been married 22 years this year.

icecreamsun · 12/04/2019 09:57

We got together at 16, engaged at 19, we married at 26 and we're now 29. There was some judgement around our ages when we got engaged, no one really took us seriously or thought we'd ever actually get married but I made it clear when we did I didn't want to get married straight away but I did want at some of course. I'm quite glad we waited and didn't rush into things

CustardCreamLover · 12/04/2019 09:57

Been together since I was 20, now 31..married when I was 27. Have an 11 week old baby now. Wouldn't give a toss if I'd gotten married earlier and anyone had judged me! I also don't care when other people do or don't get married. Much more important things to worry about.

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