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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask how old you were?

586 replies

HarrysOwl · 12/04/2019 07:35

When you got married? (If you're married!)

I was reading a BBC article about a woman talking about the judgement and negativity she encountered when she announced her engagement aged 22.

I was 32 when I married DH. We were together for 3 years, got engaged then lived together for another 4 years before having our wedding. I wanted to be as sure as I could be and felt no rush.

Is there a general judgement with feminist overtones about getting married so young? Are they doomed to divorce?

OP posts:
BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 12/04/2019 09:22

Married at 22 (together since 18) been married for 28 years.

Glitterblue · 12/04/2019 09:23

Met at 25, engaged at 27, married at 29. Still happily married 14 years later.

Micsam89 · 12/04/2019 09:23

Engaged at 19, married at 20 and will be married 10 years this September. I had a lot of negativity, mainly from friends, at getting married so young. But we're happy and still going strong Smile

TessaL23 · 12/04/2019 09:24

Met at 24. Engaged at 28 and married at 29. He's 4 yrs older than me.

TheSecondMrsAshwell · 12/04/2019 09:25

I read that article and it was interesting.

When I was her age, I was seeing someone and I would have married him if he'd asked. He sent me a photo of the two of us the other day. He was so gorgeous then (still is).

Yes, i'd have dived headlong into marriage with him. And it would have been a bloody disaster because I would have been playing at it. We'd have killed each other. I was too immature for marriage and he DEFINITELY was.

But that was just us.

Youngandfree · 12/04/2019 09:25

Met at 20
Married at 27
7 years married now

floribunda18 · 12/04/2019 09:27

28, I met DH when I was 23 so we didn't rush into it.

RRoonilWazlib · 12/04/2019 09:29

Me and DH grew up on the same street so have known each other since since primary school. We got together at 17, engaged at 19 and married at 21. We turn 29 and 30 this year and have been married for 8 years. It sounds like we were lucky because we didn't have any negativity from anyone!

Fillybuster · 12/04/2019 09:29

@researchandbiscuitfan Flowers So sorry for your loss, that sounds heartbreaking

Met 25 (me), 23 (him)
Married 27, 25
18 years and 3 dcs on, he’s still my favourite person to spend time with!

But I do look back and think “gosh, we were so young!”

ginghamtablecloths · 12/04/2019 09:29

I was 25, DH was 26 and we'd known each other for less than a year which wasn't long - but you just know, don't you, when you've found the one?

AndItStillSaidFourOfTwo · 12/04/2019 09:29

23 (dh was 25), after being together nearly 3 years. We were still students, and pretty much the first of our circle of friends to marry.
It'll be 19 years this year, Still very happy.

A couple of people did think it a bit young, but I only had open negativity from two people who felt marriage to be terribly limiting and bourgeois.

Damntheman · 12/04/2019 09:30

Met at 22 and married at 25. Still happily married ten years later. So long as both parties are old enough to consent I really don't think there's a too old or too young, people are different and some marriages will work or won't.

Ihatehashtags · 12/04/2019 09:31

27

angieloumc · 12/04/2019 09:31

Marriage number 1, I was 18 and he was 22. I had my DC from that marriage at 19 and 20.
Marriage number 2, I was 26, he was 42, DC from that marriage at 28 and 35.
Happily divorced again now. I don't think there is a right age really but I myself was definitely too young for the first one. I was just playing house and it was really hard. Unfortunately my ex found it hard too and he's not seen his sons since 1994,however my 2nd husband was an amazing dad to them.

Gillian1980 · 12/04/2019 09:31

34, DH was 38.

My parents married at 20 & 22.... I don’t know anyone from my friendship group who got married that young.

ILikeyourHairyHands · 12/04/2019 09:32

25 the first time, I was too young tbh, lasted 5 years. I then met DH, we've been married 10 years this year and together for 15. Much better the second time round!

cushioncovers · 12/04/2019 09:33

20 when we met
24 when we married
40 when we divorced

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 12/04/2019 09:33

18 - should have divorced him far quicker than 3 years.

27 - married 26 years.

The lesson I learned - my mother was indeed always right

mrssunshinexxx · 12/04/2019 09:34

25 had been together for 4 years

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc · 12/04/2019 09:35

1st time 24,final time 36

Handofglory · 12/04/2019 09:37

23 having met at 18. It seems young now and we have both changed quite a lot in the past 20 years. I can see why waiting until you’re ‘properly grown up’ would work for some people but this works for us.

TokyoSushi · 12/04/2019 09:38

Met at 20, married at 30, happily married 9 years so far

MollyYouInDangerGirl · 12/04/2019 09:38

Got together age 15, moved in together age 22, engaged 24, get married this year at 26.

By the time we get married in a few months we will have celebrated our 11 year anniversary.

I found that by the time I got engaged when I was 24 I'd already been nagged by a few family members asking when we were "finally" going to get married

thefinn · 12/04/2019 09:38

20 when met 23 when married 34 now. It's so easy to comment and judge. No one was openly negative towards us, maybe bit surprised although it isn't that young.

NancyPickford · 12/04/2019 09:38

I was 42, he was 34. Met in April, married in October - 23 years ago.

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