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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how old you were?

586 replies

HarrysOwl · 12/04/2019 07:35

When you got married? (If you're married!)

I was reading a BBC article about a woman talking about the judgement and negativity she encountered when she announced her engagement aged 22.

I was 32 when I married DH. We were together for 3 years, got engaged then lived together for another 4 years before having our wedding. I wanted to be as sure as I could be and felt no rush.

Is there a general judgement with feminist overtones about getting married so young? Are they doomed to divorce?

OP posts:
powkin · 13/04/2019 17:29

Together from 21, married at 26 (+4 days!), DD at 33. Wouldn’t advise my own DD to get married so young with the extra sense of pressure that can bring to some relationships (something I wasn’t expecting but did experience) but it seemed so important at the time and I’m very impatient!

Oddbodd · 13/04/2019 17:29

I got engaged at 18, we bought a house at 19, married at 22. I'm now 34 and still happily married. I don't really think age has a lot to do with love...providing the two people are adults no one really knows who will divorce and who won't.

tiredmummy1991 · 13/04/2019 17:35

I was 26 when I go married, only engaged 5 months but had been together 8 years.

MadCattery · 13/04/2019 17:37

Married first husband at 25, which was four months after our first date. Lasted 22 years. He died. I then married my childhood sweetheart at 57 (after living together for a few years this time). I've been very fortunate with my choices.

tisonlymeagain · 13/04/2019 17:39

Married at 30, divorced at 39.

NotMeNoNo · 13/04/2019 17:40
  1. Silver wedding anniversary this year.
SurfingGiantess · 13/04/2019 17:45

Met at 21 engaged at 31 still not married yet 😂

dragonara53 · 13/04/2019 17:46

Married at 19 lasted 10 yrs, married at 33 lasted nearly 5 yrs. Married again at 41 still together nearly 13yrs later. 😁

ToftyAC · 13/04/2019 17:48

Married at 30, divorced at 38. Together 16 years in total.

Pimmsypimms · 13/04/2019 17:51

Married at 34, been together 13 years before that, had a 6 year old dd at the time.

speakout · 13/04/2019 17:52

Huge mistake.

TeknoGran · 13/04/2019 17:54

I was 21. I had only known my husband for 6 weeks. It’s 34 years now...

AventaRizon · 13/04/2019 17:54

First time 21, second time 36.

Ifonlybatshadhats · 13/04/2019 17:56

Met when I was 21, married at 24, had ds1 at 28, ds2 at 31. 10 years married and all is good... marry the person who you love and respect and who feels the same about you. Who knows how things might go further down the line but if you have a level head then why should it be an issue to marry in your early 20s. Each to their own though.

MaltedMilk88 · 13/04/2019 17:57

I'm 31, married 3 years together for 13 years.. first baby on the way in June.
Really don't think it matters, there will always be people that have an opinion though you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. If my husband and I had got married when we were younger we would have been too young, our decision to leave it until later in life and for a good few years we were constantly having to battle when are you getting married, settling etc - bore off we'll do it in our own time we said!

jessebuni · 13/04/2019 17:58

Husband and I met when I was 17 had baby number one at 19. Married and baby number 2 at 23. 31 now and still happily married. Age shouldn’t really have much to do with it. If you love one another and are serious about a future together that’s all that matters. But yes we have had shocked reactions over the years and negative ones. One of my uncles once asked what the rush was to get married when I was discussing the wedding date and I sort of raised my eyebrows and was like “well...he is the father of my child and we’ve been together six years...that’s not really rushing is it?” But he just assumed that it wasn’t even the same guy because I was young which was frankly insulting.

cyclecamper · 13/04/2019 17:58

Married 4 weeks before my 40th birthday

FurbabyMama · 13/04/2019 18:01

I was 13 when I first met my husband, 16 when we got together, 20 when we got engaged and 21 when we got married. I'm now 26, we've been married 4.5 years, together 10 years next month and planning our first child. I did feel a little judged at the time although nobody actually said anything to me about it. I do get some shocked faces still when I tell people how old I was (or rather how young I was) but tbh I quite like the satisfaction of knowing that I was right and we're still happily married! Looking back I do think it was a bit young but luckily I chose well and it has worked out well for us!

My parents were 20 and 21 when they got married and are celebrating their 35th anniversary this month.

247mummsy · 13/04/2019 18:01

25, I shouldn’t have married that young and regret not travelling (something he didn’t want to do), had a baby at 26, divorced by 29. Now engaged for 2 years been with him almost 5 years and have a 6 month old.

Nats1606 · 13/04/2019 18:01

Met and got together at 19...engaged at 26......married at 27....still married at almost 34 and now have 3 children.

DeadDoorpost · 13/04/2019 18:02

Met when I was 17 and he was 22, started dating when I was 19 and he was 24 and then married 2 years later. Will be married 4 years this year.

Ribbonsonabox · 13/04/2019 18:02

I was 27. I felt young actually. I was the only one in my friendship circle getting married at that age.

Sculpin · 13/04/2019 18:03

Got together at 23, married at 29, have been married for 15 years now.

247mummsy · 13/04/2019 18:03

My parents were married when Mum was 19 and Dad was 28, they’d been together a few years by then, still married now and just celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary.

CraftyGin · 13/04/2019 18:04

Married at 21.