Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how old you were?

586 replies

HarrysOwl · 12/04/2019 07:35

When you got married? (If you're married!)

I was reading a BBC article about a woman talking about the judgement and negativity she encountered when she announced her engagement aged 22.

I was 32 when I married DH. We were together for 3 years, got engaged then lived together for another 4 years before having our wedding. I wanted to be as sure as I could be and felt no rush.

Is there a general judgement with feminist overtones about getting married so young? Are they doomed to divorce?

OP posts:
KipperTheFrog · 12/04/2019 19:01

Met at 19, engaged at 23, married a month before I turned 25. Still together with 2 children now. Most of my friends married within a 3 year window, no divorces yet.

AJPTaylor · 12/04/2019 19:01

23 in 1991. Only one of my circle then to marry.next wedding was about 8 years later.
We had lived together 3 years. Been married 27 years. I look about 14 in the photos!

lisasimpsonssaxophone · 12/04/2019 19:07

I read that article and will admit I raised my eyebrows a bit. It wasn’t just her age, it was the fact that she had only been with the guy for a year (as far as I could tell) and claimed it wasn’t ‘impulsive’ but in the same breath then said that she’d never even thought about marriage until he randomly suggested it on night out in the pub with her mates.

I’d never make mean or judgy comments to her face though, and they may well live a long and happy life together! It’s her life and people have no right to be rude about it.

ChristmasArmadillo · 12/04/2019 19:09
  1. We’d known each other less than six months. Would I recommend it to everyone? No. Did it work for me? Absolutely yes. We’re still blissfully happy years and children and hard times down the road.
cptartapp · 12/04/2019 19:11

Met at 20, Engaged at 28. Married at 29. Now married 19 years.

Tattletale · 12/04/2019 19:13

I was engaged at 20 and married at 23.

DaveCoachesgavemetheclap · 12/04/2019 19:14

Met at 21, married at 24 and widowed at 26. I met my second husband when I was 30 and married 2 years later. Been married 20 years.

PippaPug · 12/04/2019 19:21

Met when I was 25, got engaged when I was 28 and we get married in July so I will be 29 and he will be 36

madhousee · 12/04/2019 19:21

23, will be married 6 years this year. Been together 13 years.

dyslexicbrian · 12/04/2019 19:21

Met at 17.
Engaged less than two months later. Married at 20.

Catlady173 · 12/04/2019 19:25

Met when I was 22, he 20, moved in together 3 weeks later. We love kids but just borrowed other peoples as we wanted to concentrate on our careers and travelled a lot, so never bothered getting married.
End of May it will be 41 yrs together. Longest relationship out of a joint total of 11 siblings, so there you go! I don't think age is important ( unless you are very young), when you know, you know. We are best pals too.
We always say we are together because we want to be, not because of a bit of paper.

Member984815 · 12/04/2019 19:25

Together since 17 and 18 , engaged at 22 married at 23 married 13 years now . Didn't experience any judgement

cabbagepatchcactus · 12/04/2019 19:26

Met at 16, engaged at 21, married at 23.

AllCaughtUp · 12/04/2019 19:28

Married at 21. Wish we'd waited and lived our lives independently for longer though. We've spent our entire adult lives together and I feel I've missed out on so much, I'm sure he feels the same way to.

Amanduh · 12/04/2019 19:29

Met at 18, married at 27, been together 14 years and married for almost 6. Of the people I know, those who married younger had been together longer and have lasted a long time. Two very recent divorces I know were those 35-45 year olds who met and married within 2 years.

BakewellTarts · 12/04/2019 19:29

28 but met DH when I was 19. Celebrating 21 years next week.

42isthemeaning · 12/04/2019 19:30

Met dh at 29, married at 30, still together 16 years on! Smile

TruJay · 12/04/2019 19:31

We first met when I was 13 and we kept meeting over the years randomly until we got together when I was 19, married at 20, I’ve recently turned 30 and we’ll be celebrating our 10th anniversary later this year. We have 2 children together. Everyone said it was a mistake, we were too young, it wouldn’t last - we’re very happy, wouldn’t change a thing.

Amanduh · 12/04/2019 19:33

Oh and I don’t feel we missed out on anything. We both went to uni and had a year before we dated and shagged people and partied for 3 years then we still had our seperate friends and nights out, holidays with our friends etc and buildijg careers then travelled a lot together and spent a good 8 or so years enjoying life to the full! Now we are ‘settled’ with a DC and I feel like we’ve had a bloody good time and the rest is still to come! I don’t think the age you get married means ‘missing out’ but it’s what you’ve done/do with that time and how you do it

SospanFrangipan · 12/04/2019 19:41

I was 31, DH was 28. We had been together 9 and a half years when we finally got married, engaged for 18 months. 14 years together this year, seems a lifetime ago that we met now!

TrixieFranklin · 12/04/2019 19:45

24

beeRB · 12/04/2019 20:02

I got married at 24.

Started dating when I was 16, bought a house at 22, engaged at 23 and first baby at 25 Smile

I seemed very young (compared to the situation of a lot of our friends) but thinking objectively it isn't that unreasonable to get married after 8 year together Wink

beeRB · 12/04/2019 20:03

Dating him at 16.... not dating in general...

Ella1980 · 12/04/2019 20:10

Married at 24, didn't know myself at that age and "grew up" but ex didn't. Finally got my divorce last year (yay!) Getting married again next year (if we can afford it) and I'll be 39 😊

GlitterPixie · 12/04/2019 20:11

35

Swipe left for the next trending thread