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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask how old you were?

586 replies

HarrysOwl · 12/04/2019 07:35

When you got married? (If you're married!)

I was reading a BBC article about a woman talking about the judgement and negativity she encountered when she announced her engagement aged 22.

I was 32 when I married DH. We were together for 3 years, got engaged then lived together for another 4 years before having our wedding. I wanted to be as sure as I could be and felt no rush.

Is there a general judgement with feminist overtones about getting married so young? Are they doomed to divorce?

OP posts:
Justanothernamechange2 · 12/04/2019 12:42

Got together at 16+17
Engaged at 25+26
Weddings booked and we will be 29+30

Justonemorepancake · 12/04/2019 12:43

32 after 10 years together

managedmis · 12/04/2019 12:45

Too young, too dumb.

EarlyBird39 · 12/04/2019 12:49

I was 24. We are together since we were 21. Happily together for 17 years, married for 14 😊

HarryPottersSecretSister · 12/04/2019 12:51

Married at 22 (he was 24) and we're 11 years married this year.

Definitely feel that this isn't the norm these days and raised quite a few eyebrows at the time.

FlurkenSchnit · 12/04/2019 12:51

Got married at 30, I only met him 10 months before, was bit of a whirlwind romance! It's our 9th wedding anniversary in May.

GMtoBe · 12/04/2019 13:09

We met when I was 22 and he was 34. Married when I was 26 and he was 38. Been married 3 years now.

cheesenpickles · 12/04/2019 13:10

I was 26. Really young compared to friends in London and a bit older than my friends round here.

SerenDippitty · 12/04/2019 13:11

Marriage is tough I think having children is tougher

Keeping a long marriage going without children has its own challenges. You don't have the constant distraction of children and thete isn't the same incentive to stay in the marriage if you don't really really want to!

Juanbablo · 12/04/2019 13:34

I was 25. We were engaged for 3 years and together for 5. It's our 6th anniversary tomorrow.

mydogisthebest · 12/04/2019 13:35

Met when DH was 23 and I was 25. Got married 5 months later. Been married 39 years.

DH's mum told me I was old to be getting married but at least I would not "be on the shelf any more"!!!.

IckyTummy · 12/04/2019 13:37
  1. We'd been together 4 1/2 years by then.
roundligament · 12/04/2019 13:41

Just turned 21

I felt very judged

I am still happily married 5 1/2 years later
We have had some really really really trying times since getting married but not related to my age.

Veryangryvicuna · 12/04/2019 13:57

Met at 18, married at 21, divorced before my 25th birthday. Age was part of the issue, it was a bloody stupid thing to do which a bit of maturity would have kept me from doing.

Second marriage at 30. At least my “starter” marriage told me all the things I wasn’t prepared to put up with. This one is going strong.

My DSis met her DH at 18, married at 22, still married many years later. I’m sure people who know them would hold them up as an example of a young marriage working. But actually it’s a disaster behind the scenes and has nearly destroyed her. I suspect if she’d waited til she was older they’d never have married —and she’d be free—

OnlineAlienator · 12/04/2019 14:00

24, quite unusual in my circle though

nokidshere · 12/04/2019 15:09

I'm one of 6 sisters. All of my 5 sisters got married before they were 21, only one of them divorced and remarried. All 5 marriages are well over 30yrs now and appear happy.

I married at 27 and will celebrate 32 years next month.

DelilahfromDenmark · 12/04/2019 15:30

Met in work age 25 ish, got together at 32, married at 35. Had child 2.5 years later.
I’m glad I waited, was having far too much fun dating entirely unsuitable men in my 20s.

MafaldaGregorovitch · 12/04/2019 16:11

No judgement from me either. My best friend got married at 22. All being well I'll be getting married at 29. Gosh that's the first time I've actually thought about how old I'll be on our wedding day, feel like time is flying away from me!! Tbh when I was younger I always thought I'd be married in my early twenties but I'm happy how things have worked out.

Missmonkeypenny · 12/04/2019 16:16

I was 22, turned 23 a month later. I was surprised that we didnt recieve negative comments in all honesty.

I think the age people get married comes in waves, back in the 50s/60s, early to mid twenties was the norm but now the average age in the U.K. is 31 for a woman according to the national statistics website igwbjust had a nosey on

JellyNo15 · 12/04/2019 16:17

Married at 19 (DH 23). Children mid twenties. Been married thirty years. Lots of gossip assuming I was pregnant and too young. Proved them all wrong as we are still happy.

The80sweregreat · 12/04/2019 16:36

I was 24. Still married nearly 30 years later.

One of my sons friends got married at 21. I thought that was young as most people these days are much older or don't bother.
Most people in the 60s or 70s got married in their teens.

MsAwesomeDragon · 12/04/2019 16:45

I was 36 and DH was 46 when we got married. First marriage for both of us.

I already had a DD from a previous relationship and we had a DD together. And we had bought a house together a few years beforehand.

I'm not sure it's judgment when people announce engagements when they're going. It's surprise, because it's unusual to get married that young now. And for quite a few people it's also a bit of projection of what we were like in our early/mid twenties. I know I was still very immature at 25, even though I had a child and a responsible job by then. I wasn't ready to settle down with a long term relationship. So when I hear young women planning a wedding in their early 20s I think about what a bad idea that would have been for me. It might not be a bad idea for other people, but it would have been for me, and it was for my sister who got married at 25, and was divorced by 28.

Xenia · 12/04/2019 16:47
  1. Met at 20, married just before I turned 22. Baby no. 1 just before I turned 23. (We spent our first wedding anniversary touring the hospital maternity unit). We were married for just under 20 years. 5 children. Now single. Both always worked full time.
Hermagsjesty · 12/04/2019 16:49

I was 25 - definitely the youngest of my peers. 11yrs and 3 kids later we’re still doing okay...!

tobee · 12/04/2019 16:49

Got together when I was 19.
Married at 43.