To ask how old you were?

[HarrysOwl]

When you got married? (If you're married!)

I was reading a BBC article about a woman talking about the judgement and negativity she encountered when she announced her engagement aged 22.

I was 32 when I married DH. We were together for 3 years, got engaged then lived together for another 4 years before having our wedding. I wanted to be as sure as I could be and felt no rush.

Is there a general judgement with feminist overtones about getting married so young? Are they doomed to divorce?

I was 24. Been married nearly 11 years now.

Met at 20, engaged at 21, married at 22 (a few weeks before my 23rd birthday). Married 7 years this year, now have 2 DC.

I felt young to be married but I was/am exceptionally happy in my relationship and if we hadn't married then, when we both had good jobs and no dependents, we probably wouldn't have afforded to get married in the following years.

I have had some comments about being married young and lots of people said we wouldn't last past the first year or two, however our relationship is very strong and we've been through a LOT of shit.

I have no idea why but getting married under 25 does seem young these days.

I met DH and married at 35 (late 90s)
Older sisters both married at 18 (70s) (both divorced)
Older brothers were both 23 (70s & 80s)

I have friends who married in 1981 when they were 16 and 18 and they're still going strong (they're the loveliest couple).

Met my now DH at 17, together at 18, moved in together at 21, engaged at 22, married a few days before my 25th birthday, Had DC1 at 28 and DC 2 at 29. We've been married for 15 years next month. I've never felt as if I was judged by anyone for being engaged in my early 20's, but I suppose DH and I had been together a fair while before that happened so maybe people expected it as the natural progression of our relationship.

My nana was married at 17 and a mother by the age of 18 and her and grandad were married 60 0dd years before we lost grandad. However, I am aware that it was more socially acceptable that people would get married much younger back then.

21

We’ve been married for 23 years. Even though our marriage is and has been mostly happy (I’m a realist, I don’t believe anyone’s relationships with anyone, friends, parents, lovers, children are ever, or can be 100% happy) and I don’t want to be with anyone else other than DH, I think 21 was too young to get married. I wouldn’t want any of my children to tie themselves to another person so early on in life. It worked out for me (so far, so good) but I’m aware that I am a statistical anomaly and the odds are stacked against early marriage, or indeed any marriage!

Got married at 30 having been together for 3 years. Was 37 when we had DS. However most of my peer group/ friends got married and / or had DC in their 20's. I'm 55 and I think that people did tend to marry and have children earlier when I was younger.

25 (almost 26). Been married 2 years now but have been together almost 5

DH and I are childhood sweethearts. Engaged at 19, married at 23. Still happily married now we’re in our 30s.

People said we were too young. I disagree as strongly now as I did then. And funnily enough the majority of those people aren’t even with the partners they were at the time.

24

Think the opposite re Feminism. I can see the point in marrying young and pooling efforts early on. It all becomes much more problematic when both parties are older with existing separate baggage.

I was 22 (nearly 23) and so was DH. We'd been together for six years. Now both coming up to 30, just had our 7yr wedding anniversary. Two DC, still very happy!

Met at 18 in uni halls, lived together from day one of our relationship, engaged and married at 21, loving life with our gorgeous little boy

I was married at 22 and still married at 36. I dont know if its judgement but people are often surprised when I tell them. Even more so when they learn we have been together since school.

Don't know if age at marriage has an impact on how likely you are to stay together, im sure lots of other factors are probably more important. Feminism to me is about choice.

Met at 17, engaged at 22, married at 24. We've been married 8 years.

18 for my first marriage

27 the second time and we have been married 10 years, together for 12.

Got married at 25 (he was 29). I was heavily pregnant at the time but we were engaged before I got pregnant. Had been together officially since I was 23 but had known each other since I was 19.

More and more of my friends (still in our 20s) are getting married but I’d say we’re still in the minority.

We met at 15, started dating at 17, got engaged at 20 and married at 21. We've been married four years now. We were the first of our friends to get married but not by long: two couples in our close friendship group got married within a few months of us at the same kind of age. Our families were very supportive; we didn't get any negative comments, though a few people at university were a bit surprised. I think a lot depends on the people involved and how long they've been together, though statistics show that teenage marriages are less likely to last.

I don’t remember much ‘judgement’ in terms of my choice to get married so young. Perhaps I’ve blocked it out? I don’t live in an area where young marriage and parenthood is particularly common.

I do recall feeling ‘judged’ and sidelined at baby groups though. My first child was born when I was in my early 20’s and a married home owner (relevant because that was the same lifestyle situation as 99.9% of the other mothers in the group). Most of the other mothers must have been anywhere from late 20’s at the very youngest to late 30’s at the upper end.

Met at 19, engaged a month later! Married at 21.

Been married for 22 years, so more than half my life.

We married at 20, which worried a few people, but we did have support too (emotional support not money, haha)
We've been married almost 21 years now, it's the best thing we ever did. We make a great team.
Now those same people who worried say things like " so nice to see long, happy marriage"

Engaged a couple of months before I turned 27 and married a month after I turned 28.

I was 27. I wouldn’t have been ready at 22 but that doesn’t mean someone else couldn’t be.

Met at 20, engaged at 22, married at 23. We didn't get any negativity. Have friends with similar stories. I'm still married 16 years later and so are 4 out of 5 friends who got married at the same/similar age.

Got engaged at 25, bought a house at 26, married at 27, had our first child aged 28 and baby no 2 came along aged 30... was a busy few years!

Now starting to get my career back on track after being part-time for a few years.

Divorced at 25
Loved him but it was leave or get killed (as dramatic as that may sound but he had already stabbed me once as well as other nasty injuries as a result of him).