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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I BU not to "share" this?

100 replies

Frangipaniisamadeupword · 11/04/2019 19:28

I'm almost 100% positive I'm not BU but just in case.

I was visiting MIL today and SIL was there. For context, we both have two children, and SIL's youngest is a few months older than our baby who is almost a year.

So MIL asked me how DC2 was sleeping. My children have been notoriously crap sleepers, we cosleep as a result. I don't think MIL approves of our methods but hey. I said that we had been getting the baby to sleep in the cot and it finally seems to be working. We bought a My Hummy a few weeks ago and it's worked so, so well. Baby seems to really respond to white noise, sleep still isn't perfect, but it's miles better, thank you My Hummy. Baby loves the MH too, smiles at it, squeals at it, gives it kisses. Best £50 ever (and that's a measure of how tired we were!)

Anyway SIL goes, oooh that sounds fab, I wonder if that would work for my DC. I wasn't aware that her baby was a bad sleeper as to be honest she's always been very ready with her advice - she had hers in the cot a lot sooner. I just said well, it might do, I thought it was a bit late for it to make a difference to my DC but it has helped.

SIL says, great, I'll borrow it for a few nights then.

I thought she was joking at first, so I just laughed. Sil looked quite huffy, and I started to realise she was serious. In an attempt to lighten the mood, I said "you'd have to prise it off the cot first, anything that gets baby to sleep is going to be superglued on"
SIL just sort of pursed her lips and said "well I'm sure we can borrow it for a few nights and DC won't miss it"

At this point I saw my baby free evenings slip away, and I maybe was unreasonable - I replied "no, sorry, by the time baby stops needing it you'll hardly need it for DN"

MIL at this point wittered something about how lovely it was to have cousins who could share. I left soon after, there was an atmosphere I felt.

About an hour after I got home, SIL (Queen of vaguebooking) posted a generic meme status on FB about how family might not mean much to some people, but it means everything to her and she'd do anything for hers. I kind of assume this is a dig at me refusing to relinquish My Hummy.

DP thinks I should just lend it to SIL as otherwise she'll cause a fuss and make it into a whole big deal. I told him he was welcome to lend it, if he was prepared to do every single night waking in its absence. He soon piped down.

SIL was BU to ask, wasn't she? When she knows how difficult sleep has been for us?

OP posts:
cheesydoesit · 11/04/2019 19:30

YANBU. She's being an arse.

gamerchick · 11/04/2019 19:32

Send her a link to it on her passive aggressive Facebook post.

What is it with these men who want to give in for a quiet life? Just no man!!

Don't you dare lend her it, if it works for her you'll never get it back.

Yellowcar2 · 11/04/2019 19:32

So unreasonable I cannot believe the cheek of her. Do not lend it to her.

Ohyesiam · 11/04/2019 19:32

She’s a twat, ignore her. Of course you shouldn’t loan her your sleep solution. She must love a bit of drama to have asked.

Farmerswifey12 · 11/04/2019 19:33

YANBU. She's being an idiot and very immature to make such a dig on Facebook, hate it when people do that.

At the very most is let her borrow it once during the day to see if it helps at nap time but that would be me being generous. Anything that gets me my precious sleep is not going to be parted with for love nor money

Leeds2 · 11/04/2019 19:34

If she's that desperate, she can buy her own!

Chocolateisfab · 11/04/2019 19:35

Well mil can buy her one then. Or sil can buy it herself. What are you? A mug??

GPatz · 11/04/2019 19:35

Jesus. Anything that would have helped DC1 sleep would have been glued to him. She's obviously not having terrible sleep issues, otherwise she wouldn't even think to be asking to borrow it overnight, knowing what the alternative is.

Imadehimlikethat · 11/04/2019 19:36

Is she on crack????

Here SIL, have the ONLY thing that keeps my baby asleep because I really want 3 nights of no sleep!!

Sebd her a link to buy her own

whiteroseredrose · 11/04/2019 19:36

Definitely not BU!

2birds1stone · 11/04/2019 19:36

Dear God no. I would not lend anything that my child was attached to or we use daily. Plus it would come back smelling of their home and child so yours may then reject it!

Tell her there is a free app called colic baby which has white noise or she can buy a ewan sheep for £10

Flicketyflack · 11/04/2019 19:38

SIL sounds like a childish bully Angry

You have said how it has helped you if she wants one let her buy one or maybe if mil feels that strongly she could buy one for her Grin

TanselleTooTall · 11/04/2019 19:39

No don't worry. You're not in the wrong.

pigsDOfly · 11/04/2019 19:42

Good god no, of course you don't lend her something that has made such a difference to you and your baby.

Perhaps send her a link to the website for the company, or where ever you bought it from.

If she wants one she can spend the £50 it costs to buy one.

And if you were soft enough to lend it to her, what's the betting you'd have a hell of a job getting it back from her.

Berthatydfil · 11/04/2019 19:42

Like her status so she knows you’ve seen through her passive aggressive shit.
Then get dh to ring his mother and tell her that it’s been the only thing that’s worked to solve dcs sleep issues and like fuck will HE be letting it be lent out and HE doesn’t appreciate his sisters fb status.

LimeKiwi · 11/04/2019 19:44

Is she on crack????

Here SIL, have the ONLY thing that keeps my baby asleep because I really want 3 nights of no sleep!

Grin This! As if you'd just hand over the one thing that is finally allowing you all to get some sleep.
Definitely send her a link to one. Not in a "funny" way, just in a "thought I'd send you the link that way you can get one too" way.
What if it worked for her? Would she just hand it straight back? Doubt it.
It's not like it's a spare cot blanket or something ffs

ALannisterInDebt · 11/04/2019 19:44

I hope you liked the FB post!

She's a CF.

TipseyTorvey · 11/04/2019 19:44

This is simply insane! Step away from the crazy entitled one and do whatever you need to keep your own child sleeping.

Original poster
Frangipaniisamadeupword · 11/04/2019 19:45

I thought it wasn't just me. Though sorry for the drip feed, but I have lent her things in the past- a book with weaning recipes, that sort of thing. And a few cloth nappies when she wanted to try them. So maybe she thought the my hummy was OK too? I just assumed it would be obvious that a sleep thing was not up for grand

OP posts:
Original poster
Frangipaniisamadeupword · 11/04/2019 19:46

Up for grabs that should be

OP posts:
BackOnceAgainWithABurnerEmail · 11/04/2019 19:48

She’s a nob. A normal person would have said ‘sounds fab, will look that up when I get home’ who would think they were having a borrow of something a child is currently using?

Maybe she’d like to lean you her coat when it’s raining?

GottaGoGottaGo · 11/04/2019 19:48

So she wants YOU to have sleepless nights so she can "test" if it works on her kid??

Erm. NO!

YADNBU

LimeKiwi · 11/04/2019 19:48

There's a bit of a difference between a weaning recipe book and some cloth nappies though and this.
She obviously doesn't think so though, but as someone who had a non sleeping baby like hell would I give over willingly "for a few nights" the one thing that got us some sleep!

Cherrysoup · 11/04/2019 19:48

What a silly bitch she is! Definitely get dh to do as Berthatydfil says. And get him to step the fuck up, he’s clearly not involved enough if he honestly thinks that lending out the Myhummy is no big deal.

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 11/04/2019 19:48

YANBU your baby needs it and so does your sanity. Could you get a cheaper equivalent as an Easter gift? You can get an Ollie the owl for just over £20 these days
www.mylittlebubba.co.uk/product/the-gro-company-light-and-sound-ollie-the-owl-grofriend/?gclid=CjwKCAjwy7vlBRACEiwAZvdx9mTvu4jkYIyOLKhWumG9AuY9M4fdjg2r0FROAzr2uEhRNDo19Qp9lRoCslQQAvD_BwE

If do it just to make her feel guilty about her snarky post