Am I BU not to "share" this?

[Frangipaniisamadeupword]

I'm almost 100% positive I'm not BU but just in case.

I was visiting MIL today and SIL was there. For context, we both have two children, and SIL's youngest is a few months older than our baby who is almost a year.

So MIL asked me how DC2 was sleeping. My children have been notoriously crap sleepers, we cosleep as a result. I don't think MIL approves of our methods but hey. I said that we had been getting the baby to sleep in the cot and it finally seems to be working. We bought a My Hummy a few weeks ago and it's worked so, so well. Baby seems to really respond to white noise, sleep still isn't perfect, but it's miles better, thank you My Hummy. Baby loves the MH too, smiles at it, squeals at it, gives it kisses. Best £50 ever (and that's a measure of how tired we were!)

Anyway SIL goes, oooh that sounds fab, I wonder if that would work for my DC. I wasn't aware that her baby was a bad sleeper as to be honest she's always been very ready with her advice - she had hers in the cot a lot sooner. I just said well, it might do, I thought it was a bit late for it to make a difference to my DC but it has helped.

SIL says, great, I'll borrow it for a few nights then.

I thought she was joking at first, so I just laughed. Sil looked quite huffy, and I started to realise she was serious. In an attempt to lighten the mood, I said "you'd have to prise it off the cot first, anything that gets baby to sleep is going to be superglued on"
SIL just sort of pursed her lips and said "well I'm sure we can borrow it for a few nights and DC won't miss it"

At this point I saw my baby free evenings slip away, and I maybe was unreasonable - I replied "no, sorry, by the time baby stops needing it you'll hardly need it for DN"

MIL at this point wittered something about how lovely it was to have cousins who could share. I left soon after, there was an atmosphere I felt.

About an hour after I got home, SIL (Queen of vaguebooking) posted a generic meme status on FB about how family might not mean much to some people, but it means everything to her and she'd do anything for hers. I kind of assume this is a dig at me refusing to relinquish My Hummy.

DP thinks I should just lend it to SIL as otherwise she'll cause a fuss and make it into a whole big deal. I told him he was welcome to lend it, if he was prepared to do every single night waking in its absence. He soon piped down.

SIL was BU to ask, wasn't she? When she knows how difficult sleep has been for us?

She is a spoilt little madam.

It’s clealry something you use every night - and rely on. Why would oi relinquish it?

Your mil is also a not of an arse.

Do not give up your key to sleep!

YANBU. The clue is it’s the only thing that gets your baby to sleep so why would you lend it to someone for a few nights! She’s being selfish and unreasonable.

she sounds like an entitled Dick

Your SIL is a PA CF. Have your DH tell her where to get off (and buy her own).

And don't you dare buy her one! She can fund her own.

LOL. Know that feeling. Um, nope. If she wants one, she can do something novel, you know, like BUY one. Yours is yours and your baby's. Anything that got between my baby and their sleep, and apparently I made Freddy Kruger look like Mary Poppins. . . I imagine you're much the same! If not - channel your inner Freddy Kruger. . .

I don't think she was unreasonable to ask - makes sense to try it out before splashing out £50 and I would have probably leant it to her BUT she is VU to have a strop about it when you said no. The vague booking is ridiculous - is she 12?

Take a picture of your lo asleep with it and caption it with 'you should try one of these, it works for us'.

YANBU, you need it for your baby.

I’m more than happy to pass baby things along to family once I’ve finished with them myself, but i only lend things if I don’t mind not getting them back. I don’t lend things that we’re still using or that my DC are very attached to. Lending a weaning book or a few cloth nappies is very different to lending a sleeping aid that your baby needs to help him sleep.
I wouldn’t lend her it even for a day in case she didn’t return it promptly - if it works wonders for her, would she really return it immediately? Or would she hang onto it until she’d got round to buying her own?

And as for the “generic meme status on FB about how family might not mean much to some people, but it means everything to her and she'd do anything for hers” ..... clearly she’s talking nonsense.
If she’d really do anything for her family, then she wouldn’t dream of asking to borrow the only thing that’s helped you get your baby to sleep properly, would she?

Yanbu
I would act as if this stupid idea of hers had never happened as it’s so completely crazy it’s not worth entertaining for one second.

In a very charitable moment I wonder if she just wasn't really listening and thought "Sleeping is much better" = "Sleeping is sorted". Perhaps the fact you have lent things in the past has persuaded her that what's yours is hers if she wants it? Just repeat that you are still using it and can't do without it at the moment. If she doesn't' want to spend £50 on something which may not make a difference she can find a white noise app, buy a cheaper model or buy one second hand. Would she give you something to try for a few days that she needs every day?

YANBU I would tell her, mil and DP to fuck right off.

YANBU. Your baby needs it to sleep so not available to be lent out until he/she no longer needs it. SIL can buy her own, try out a white noise app or MIL can buy it for her. My DGD2 has a My Hummy and needs it to go to sleep and can just imagine my DDs reaction should someone ask to borrow it. Not available until baby sleeps without it.

Cheeky bag! As if you're going to lend her something your baby NEEDS! Idiotic moron.

If you do loan it to her it'll be weeks to get it back with much moaning. YANBU.

Nope! Not a chance!

Why are men so eager to keep their family members happy at any cost to their OH’s ..

#sourgrapes from me .. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Not all men but talking from experience

I can almost guarantee you'll never see it back. It will either be lost, sold or broken.

Fuck no, yo are clearly in the right.
Post about how awesome your my Hummy is, and if you ever lost it or it broke you would be driving around the 24hr shops that night to replace.

Well this is a great advert for Myhummy . YANBU OP - if something gets and keeps your baby asleep you don't bloody lend it out and she should know that after nearly a year of parenting!

Yanbu.
She sounds insane.

Share the Facebook post instead

I've told my friend, whose baby is also Hummy dependent, and she said that they have a guarantee where you can return it in thirty days if it doesn't work for your baby. So I might actually send her a link and mention that, nicely, because it is quite a good returns policy

She can be a bit "what's yours is mine" and is definitely the favourite. It usually is water off a duck's back to me, but not when she's after My bloody Hummy!

Here SIL, have the ONLY thing that keeps my baby asleep because I really want 3 nights of no sleep!

Absolutely this!

Essentialhummus I'm not a shill, I promise

Public announcement - in the interest of fairness, I was also talking to a woman at toddler group, and she said My Hummy was a waste of time and money, as was Ewan the Sheep, and the only thing that worked for her son was having the extractor fan on

Reply on her fb that you’re more than happy to lend her the thingy if she does the night shifts at your house for the duration