Am I BU not to "share" this?

[Frangipaniisamadeupword]

I'm almost 100% positive I'm not BU but just in case.

I was visiting MIL today and SIL was there. For context, we both have two children, and SIL's youngest is a few months older than our baby who is almost a year.

So MIL asked me how DC2 was sleeping. My children have been notoriously crap sleepers, we cosleep as a result. I don't think MIL approves of our methods but hey. I said that we had been getting the baby to sleep in the cot and it finally seems to be working. We bought a My Hummy a few weeks ago and it's worked so, so well. Baby seems to really respond to white noise, sleep still isn't perfect, but it's miles better, thank you My Hummy. Baby loves the MH too, smiles at it, squeals at it, gives it kisses. Best £50 ever (and that's a measure of how tired we were!)

Anyway SIL goes, oooh that sounds fab, I wonder if that would work for my DC. I wasn't aware that her baby was a bad sleeper as to be honest she's always been very ready with her advice - she had hers in the cot a lot sooner. I just said well, it might do, I thought it was a bit late for it to make a difference to my DC but it has helped.

SIL says, great, I'll borrow it for a few nights then.

I thought she was joking at first, so I just laughed. Sil looked quite huffy, and I started to realise she was serious. In an attempt to lighten the mood, I said "you'd have to prise it off the cot first, anything that gets baby to sleep is going to be superglued on"
SIL just sort of pursed her lips and said "well I'm sure we can borrow it for a few nights and DC won't miss it"

At this point I saw my baby free evenings slip away, and I maybe was unreasonable - I replied "no, sorry, by the time baby stops needing it you'll hardly need it for DN"

MIL at this point wittered something about how lovely it was to have cousins who could share. I left soon after, there was an atmosphere I felt.

About an hour after I got home, SIL (Queen of vaguebooking) posted a generic meme status on FB about how family might not mean much to some people, but it means everything to her and she'd do anything for hers. I kind of assume this is a dig at me refusing to relinquish My Hummy.

DP thinks I should just lend it to SIL as otherwise she'll cause a fuss and make it into a whole big deal. I told him he was welcome to lend it, if he was prepared to do every single night waking in its absence. He soon piped down.

SIL was BU to ask, wasn't she? When she knows how difficult sleep has been for us?

I got a white noise machine on amazon for about £20 (just a grey plastic thing with buttons)

If anyone wanted to borrow it they would have to prise it from my cold dead fingers! Yanbu

I'd give it to her for 3 days, tell her you couldn't prize it from your babies hands so she'll have to have DC for 3 nights too. Enjoy your sleep

I’ve got no idea what a My Hummy is (off to google) but if your dc is still using it then, of course, you don’t have to lend it.

I think you were immensely calm. Taking that away so that your DC couldn't sleep? I'd be accusing them of deliberately hurting my child and threatening the physical and mental health of all of us.

Nobody gets between me and my sleep!

My son has a Hummy no way I’d let anybody borrow it, it’s not about being selfish it about my son having a special soft toy comforter, you wouldn’t dream of taking a child’s night time teddy bear off them!

YADNBU!

Oh my goodness it’s no where near similar to a nappy! Not a chance in hell would I lend a sleep aid that worked! I’d rather buy another and tbh she could just as easy but herself one!

Ps - get yourself a TY Seahorse or something as a spare so if the MH goes down you still have a back up

Ha just seen the update - the Ewan failed for me too but the seahorse works!

Your SIL is a selfish twat. I’d block her on FB and totally ignore her. If MIL adds anything I’d block her as well.

What is it with people being so bloody entitled?

As for your DP, well he sounds pathetic. Glad he shut up when you told him the reality of the situation.

My kids share with their cousins but only when they’re done with their stuff .
What she’s suggesting is the equivalent of borrowing your kid’s snowsuit in winter, in a cold snap, for three days, because it’s fine for your child to be freezing cold for a few days so hers can try the snowsuit out for size!
Barefaced cheek.

This feels like really clever marketing...

YANBU. My ds doesn't sleep well. I wouldn't be lending anyone something that was helping.

She's unbelievable! No way would I loan it out not while your own baby is still using it. She's incredibly selfish to want to take away something expensive-- that is helping your child sleep. Why risk disrupting the sleep pattern? For all you know, it might not "take" as well on the second try!

Your MIL sounds bonkers. (Must run in the family, based on your DP's short-lived suggestion to just give in to SIL's demands.)

I'd either ignore her or post a PA meme on FB (as others have mentioned), depending on how angry I felt at the moment.

When I read this sort of shit, I'm thankful for my own crappy family. Your SIL is bang out of order and you definitely ANBU. She's a cheeky bint.

Your SIL wins TwatBrat of the day award!

She clearly has a decent sleeper, otherwise there's no way she'd suggest that!

I'm usually one for ignoring passive agressive FB statuses, but I don't think I could with this. "Haha, you'll still have to prise the MyHummy out of my cold dead hands. You could try a free app though to see if it helps DN before shelling out. Hopefully it'll help you as much as it's helped us!"

Why is your DP such a pathetic walkover, prioritising placating your CF SIL over your sanity and happiness?!

I was looking at the seahorse actually, I was thinking about getting one and using it for naptime. Naptime is shit as well and I thought maybe it would be good to have a different sound association? Or something? Is that mad?

I feel a bit bad now, SIL really isn't that bad in her way, just rather spoilt and a bit touchy, though to be fair she will take a huff but it will be forgotten about the next day

SIL WBVU. I'm sorry but she sounds a bit like a spoiled brat. I've used MyHummy with toddler DS since he was 4 weeks old and wouldn't consider letting the thing out of my sight as I know he'd NEVER sleep without it. Tell SIL if she's that bothered to buy her own. She is a CF!

Seahorse was fantastic for my eldest. Youngest likes the slumber buddies elephant.
Seems to just be whichever one the child likes the best 😂🤷🏼‍♀️

There is a really simple answer to your SIl.
"Would you ever fuck off"
That's it lol

Are you shitting me? Your SIL is a ballsy CF. Our kid was a bad sleeper, now almost out of primary school, but those sleepless years still haunt me & DH.

If something had worked, no way in HELL would I lend it to sby. I’d send them a fucking link to buy their own baby sleep crack ... with a discount voucher if I could find it. But that’s it. They can jog right the fuck on for anything beyond that.

Sorry, obv still not quite over those hellish years

I'm a bit jealous of all of these DCs who aren't a bit odd... DS has an Ollie (SIL bought it for him because she is lovely) , he thinks it is the best thing ever, makes him laugh, will make him alert at even the sleepiest moment and he likes to kick it and will roll around his crib to do so. He also has a mobile with white noise and if you put him under it he acts like he may as well be at a rave...... He's great at night two minutes of patting and a cuddle and he's gone. My knees are shot from the bouncing required for day naps

Ha ha she's do everything for her family EXCEPT let her little niece or nephew sleep in peace with their favourite comforter! Cheeky bitch

YANBU. Your SIL is being weird. I would never just presume that I would be able to borrow something that belonged to someone else unless they offered - especially something that their baby was using every day! If it was something they never used then maybe I would ask but respect their answer if it was a no.

Very spoilt entitled behaviour.