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AIBU?

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Original poster

Am I BU not to "share" this?

100 replies

Frangipaniisamadeupword · 11/04/2019 19:28

I'm almost 100% positive I'm not BU but just in case.

I was visiting MIL today and SIL was there. For context, we both have two children, and SIL's youngest is a few months older than our baby who is almost a year.

So MIL asked me how DC2 was sleeping. My children have been notoriously crap sleepers, we cosleep as a result. I don't think MIL approves of our methods but hey. I said that we had been getting the baby to sleep in the cot and it finally seems to be working. We bought a My Hummy a few weeks ago and it's worked so, so well. Baby seems to really respond to white noise, sleep still isn't perfect, but it's miles better, thank you My Hummy. Baby loves the MH too, smiles at it, squeals at it, gives it kisses. Best £50 ever (and that's a measure of how tired we were!)

Anyway SIL goes, oooh that sounds fab, I wonder if that would work for my DC. I wasn't aware that her baby was a bad sleeper as to be honest she's always been very ready with her advice - she had hers in the cot a lot sooner. I just said well, it might do, I thought it was a bit late for it to make a difference to my DC but it has helped.

SIL says, great, I'll borrow it for a few nights then.

I thought she was joking at first, so I just laughed. Sil looked quite huffy, and I started to realise she was serious. In an attempt to lighten the mood, I said "you'd have to prise it off the cot first, anything that gets baby to sleep is going to be superglued on"
SIL just sort of pursed her lips and said "well I'm sure we can borrow it for a few nights and DC won't miss it"

At this point I saw my baby free evenings slip away, and I maybe was unreasonable - I replied "no, sorry, by the time baby stops needing it you'll hardly need it for DN"

MIL at this point wittered something about how lovely it was to have cousins who could share. I left soon after, there was an atmosphere I felt.

About an hour after I got home, SIL (Queen of vaguebooking) posted a generic meme status on FB about how family might not mean much to some people, but it means everything to her and she'd do anything for hers. I kind of assume this is a dig at me refusing to relinquish My Hummy.

DP thinks I should just lend it to SIL as otherwise she'll cause a fuss and make it into a whole big deal. I told him he was welcome to lend it, if he was prepared to do every single night waking in its absence. He soon piped down.

SIL was BU to ask, wasn't she? When she knows how difficult sleep has been for us?

OP posts:
ThanosSavedMe · 11/04/2019 19:52

Your sil has to be on something! She’s nuts.

Yanbu. At all.

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 11/04/2019 19:53

What a cheek. If there was a year between your kids so you could feasibly have finished with it while she still needs it then fair enough.

When she says family means everything to her, on Facebook, she clearly means her immediate family (husband and child), and fuck her nieces / nephews / SiL and wider family as she happy for you all to have no sleep so she can try something out

WhatchaMaCalllit · 11/04/2019 19:58

Nope. Hang on to it with every thing you've got. If she is so desperate to try it she can buy her own and then sell it on eBay if she doesn't find it useful.

She is one serious CF!

LosingLola · 11/04/2019 20:01

Maybe she thought it was a use once but the effects last a while kind off thing. So the fact that you used it and found it helpful means that your child is able to sleep now and doesn't need it.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 11/04/2019 20:01

Thinking about it you could be equally veiled in a FB post and find an image of a wrecked parent who hasn't had any sleep due to a baby not sleeping through yet and put your own comment about how you remember those days and you're delighted they are behind you now, thanks to your My Hummy! (and even post a link to a site where they can be purchased for the icing on the cake!!!)

OKBobble · 11/04/2019 20:02

I would just post an internet link to one in her comments section.

AnyFarrahFowler · 11/04/2019 20:04

You literally just told her that it’s the only thing that gets your child to sleep. I can’t understand her thought process - has she not linked the two?? If I borrow it, then Frangipani’s baby won’t have it, and therefore won’t sleep. What is she not understanding here??

megrichardson · 11/04/2019 20:07

What a horrible person your SIL is. Can you visit MIL when she's not going to be around, in future? Mind you, MIL doesn't sound that great, either.

Lalliella · 11/04/2019 20:07

She’d do anything for family? Except let them have a nice night’s sleep. What a fucking hypocrite. Flame her on FB OP, you know you want to!

RedHatsDoNotSuitMe · 11/04/2019 20:08

That's absolutely ridiculous. I LOVE what you said to your DP and how he changed his tune!

Is she his DSis?

whatkindofspring · 11/04/2019 20:09

Wow your SIL sounds like hard work! How cheeky and rude of her, and MIL!!

Of course you don't need to lend it out! You don't lend your bed out to people to try just because it gives you a good night sleep so why the heck would you lend your babies bed/sleep aids.

Some people are so entitled! I hope she sees this thread!

JudgeRulesNutterButter · 11/04/2019 20:09

Out-pass-aggress her with a FB status about people who understand or support your child or some such shit. She’s fucking bats to think that the thing that finally lets you sleep is shareable.

Timewarpdancer · 11/04/2019 20:09

Your sil sounds as though she’s been pandered to for a long time by mil & dh and isn’t used to being told no.

KatharinaRosalie · 11/04/2019 20:10

Funny how your DH was worried about SIL making a fuss, but not that you might make one, if you're forced to give up the only thing that gets baby to sleep. SIL is probably the golden child, isn't she.

Motoko · 11/04/2019 20:11

MIL sounds just as bad with her "cousins sharing" comment.

God, it's not as if it's no longer being used!

JudgeRulesNutterButter · 11/04/2019 20:11

Here I found one for you

Am I BU not to "share" this?
ShaggyRug · 11/04/2019 20:12

Ugh she’s a dick. And I loathe a passive aggressive FB meme. Makes me want to antagonise people even more.

teyem · 11/04/2019 20:13

Fuck that for a game of soldiers, she'd have to prise the bloody thing out of my kung-fu grip if I had found something that improved my kid's sleep as babies.

Springiscomingsoon · 11/04/2019 20:16

It's a no from me too!
I think this has been a unanimous vote! (Shame it's not brexit Grin!)
Also u'll have to stop recommending things when they are older! Your dc will be fuming that cousin always has the same stuff!

Pinkprincess1978 · 11/04/2019 20:17

Don't worry, you are not in the wrong here! What a nutter to think this is something that could be borrowed!

Smelborp · 11/04/2019 20:18

What on Earth is her thought process to think this is OK?

caoraich · 11/04/2019 20:20

Your SIL is bananas.
It's like asking to borrow your child's cot or sleeping bag or something that is still in regular use! Bizarre

Maybe link her to a white noise app, saying if it seems to help it might be worth her buying a MyHummy

I speak as someone who would only give up Ewan the Sodding Dream Sheep if it was pried from my cold dead hands.

stayathomer · 11/04/2019 20:21

I agree- share a buy link for it and say ' Just found this!'

jomaIone · 11/04/2019 20:21

Advise her that you can download white noise apps on your phone to 'try out' so you don't have to go without.

As a Mum reliant on MyHummy, YANBU

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