To think there should be a minimum age limit on ear piercing

[Forthepurposesofthetape]

Was in a well known accessories shop yesterday and witnesses a mum getting her child's ears pierced. The child could have only have been about a year old and screamed the place down. She was so distressed. I really don't understand why it's necessary to do it at that age, it seems so unnecessarily cruel!

[TrixieFranklin]

@SandyY2K when you start comparing ear piercing to vaccinations you've lost any semblance of a point.

[cheercaptain]

In many parts of the world, ear piercing is done at hospital right after birth and is very often without tears. The place I did my DDs have a minimum age of 2months so perhaps there is no law and its simply at the discretion of the store as a PP said in her store it was 7. Baby boys cry when they are circumcised (...and during the healing process); has that been stopped?

[JacquesHammer]

The pain of ear piercing isn't anything more painful than an injection for a baby

Could you compare the benefits of ear piercing with vaccination?

I would agree - the pain of piercing, if done properly with a needle is minimal. However the healing time, infection risk, damage risk and aesthetic risk makes it far more invasive, and in far more prominent a spot than ear piercing.

[MagicKingdomDizzy]

almostsunny

My daughter had her ears pierced at 2.5 and she didn't even cry. (At Claire's)
They were amazing with her and asked her whether she wanted earrings, I explained it would hurt and she amazed me by not crying.

They asked a 2.5 year old if she wanted her ears pierced? And took her saying yes as proof she fully understood what was happening and wanted it done?

SandyY2K

Comparing vaccinations to ear piercing is ridiculous. One is necessary medically and one is not. I certainly wouldn't be poking my child with needles if it wasn't absolutely necessary.

[MagicKingdomDizzy]

cheercaptain

Baby boys cry when they are circumcised (...and during the healing process); has that been stopped?

It should be. Disgusting antiquated custom. I don't think it will be long before it is treated the same as FGM.

[cheercaptain]

Exactly MagicKingdomDizzy. It's such a painful process and the pain goes on for days. My friend wasn't going to do it for her son but her parents insisted. She had to be dragged out of the room.

[SandyY2K]

@TrixieFranklin
I very specifically said the pain...nothing else.

I'm well aware that vaccines are for medical reasons.
My point is that the pain is the same.

So it seems all those who disapprove of piercings know better (or think they do) than the multitude of experts, both medical, psychological and development wise for children. In this very enlightened and forward thinking nation in which we reside, you think such brutality would not be subject to the appropriate child protection laws?

If you deem it so terribly brutal, get a petition going and take it to Number 10. I'm sure it will be a welcome distraction from Brexit.

None of my DDs got infections from having their ears pierced as babies and I can't see any laws taking away my right as a parent to do this in my lifetime.

I used to get my hair braided/plaited as a little girl by my DM. It did hurt, combing my hair hurt, but it needed to be done.

As parents you make choices for your children...that's parenting. If your DD doesn't like the piercing, she can decide to stop wearing earrings and the hole closes up when she gets older.

One of my teenage DDs wants a second piercing, but is scared of it hurting and says she wishes I did it when she was a baby and she wouldn't remember the pain.

We can agree to disagree on this one.... as human beings we will always have different views.

A piercing is not taking a marchetti and butchering your child, as is being inferred by so many here. Talk about dramatic.

Anyway... I'm out of this...until another thread saying exactly the same thing comes up in.a few months or next year.

[Raspberry88]

People from my country of origin are sometimes amazed, that you can have child after child in the UK and depend on the welfare system to house and feed them.... that your lack of financial resources are limiting your child from day 1. They make a judgement on your parenting for bringing a child into a life on the breadline which has a lifelong impact for your children, not a few seconds of crying.

Ah yes, the important western cultural tradition of having children on benefits. Don't be such a snob. People from every country in the would are perfectly capable of being financially irresponsible. What a stupid comparison. It may only be a few seconds of crying (and infection risk etc etc) but I also believe it sets a concerning message to children about their bodies. You don't own your children and have no right to perform cosmetic procedures on their bodies.

[Raspberry88]

As parents you make choices for your children...that's parenting. If your DD doesn't like the piercing, she can decide to stop wearing earrings and the hole closes up when she gets older.

Or you could just do nothing and wait until she could make the decision herself. No one needs their ears pierced.

[JacquesHammer]

One of my teenage DDs wants a second piercing, but is scared of it hurting and says she wishes I did it when she was a baby and she wouldn't remember the pain

Whereas my 12 year old wants a second piercing and is happy to get it as she knows it won’t hurt (and how to look after it) because she consented to her first piercing when she was old enough to give informed consent.

Actually the pain from piercing - using your own comparison - compared to vaccinations is negligible. That still doesn’t make it acceptable to inflict body modification on an infant.

[KneelJustKneel]

"It needed to be done."But thats exactly it - ear piercing doesn't need to be done. Its a parents vanity.

[TrixieFranklin]

It doesn't matter what the pain is or isn't the same as if the two things you are comparing are poles apart - putting a baby through pain for their own protection , well being and good with vaccinations is very different from putting them through "the same" pain for something completely unnecessary for vanity. I wouldn't opt for my children to go through the pain of vaccinations for the fun of it.

[Stinkycatbreath]

Claire's accessories. I've seen the same. It's so wrong I had to intervene I was so upset.

[MumofTinies]

Claire's accessories. I've seen the same. It's so wrong I had to intervene I was so upset

Well done for speaking up! Did the parents still go ahead?

I too think it should be banned, it baffles me why would anyone want to put their child in any pain for decorative reasons.

[Hoppinggreen]

They could do it immediately after the birth at the same time as the heel prick because the earlier the better so they can “get over it”
Or we could pause in our pushing during giving birth so they could pop in those earring as as soon as the head emerges

[Jasmineallenestate]

I think resources in the UK should be directed at preventing vulnerable parents from being accesed by organised groups, making sure children have basic food at home, holding absent parents responsible and not cutting the departments who have to trawl through the worst internet sites, seeing millions of images for one minor conviction. The fact is that you do not have the resources to do these thing, let alone create lenghty government processes, along with Police resources to enforce something that doesn't really mean a parent is abusive in the actual sense, nor negligent except for one thing. The social services are never going to remove a child for being circumcised by Jewish or Muslim parents or having their ears pierced by what is perceived by MNers by chavs. So let's campaign for the real abuse first and once that is resourced and prosecutable, go for the religious, cultural and class based parents who, believe me, are not abusers.

[TapasForTwo]

SandyY2K can you explain why your children had their ears pierced as babies? Cultural tradition is not enough. Why is it cultural tradition?

DD used to sick up a lot of feeds as a baby and her ears would often be covered in sick. It would have been a nightmare if she had pierced ears.

[Ribbonsonabox]

I disagree.
It's not something I'd personally choose for my child...
But I think if a toddler has asked for pierced ears then allowing that is not different to allowing a haircut.
Of course it hurts a little bit but if after you tell them it will hurt then they still want yo do it I dont see what the problem is? It's not a life altering thing. Earrings can be removed.
And as for babies, again it's not something I'd personally consider for my children but it IS a cultural thing and widely accepted as normal in places such as Spain etc I do think its snobbery and arrogance more than actual concern for children that fuels this debate.
Face facts that in this country the main reason people dont like it is that its thought of as lower class and the main proponents of it culturally in this country are Traveller communities whom are widely despised and endure massive racism about the majority of their cultural practices.

[Ribbonsonabox]

I mean are you going to start a campaign about stopping the Kayan girls from wearing neck rings? Or stopping the Lahu tribe from stretching their ears? Both far more permanent alterations....
Probably you arent though because at the end of the day it IS cultural practice and an important part of their lives which you have no right to pass judgement over as it's not actually really harming them. It's just not what you would do or want. You have no right to say it shouldnt be cultural practice. It is not the same as circumcision at all as it does not affect the childs ability to function at all. It's not a protection issue its cultural arrogance. You dont get to decide what should mean something to a group and whether it's ridiculous or not. If it's against the law of that country then that is a different issue. But piercing a babies ears is not against the law in this country, it does not permanently alter the child or cause them lasting issues with thier ability to function. It IS a cultural practice. You dont have to do it if you disagree with it and by all means tell people your opinion that you dislike it if they ask... but trying to get it banned is ridiculous cultural snobbery.

[TapasForTwo]

"Face facts that in this country the main reason people dont like it is that its thought of as lower class and the main proponents of it culturally in this country are Traveller communities whom are widely despised and endure massive racism about the majority of their cultural practices"

I think you'll find that a good proportion of replies on this thread dislike the practice because it is inflicting unnecessary pain and infection risks in the baby with no discernible gain. I couldn't care less whether some people regard it as chavvy or whatever. My objection is that it is entirely unnecessary, that's all.

[TapasForTwo]

"It IS a cultural practice"

But WHY Ribbonsonabox?
What is the reasoning?

I'm like a dog with a bone on this

[Jasmineallenestate]

Yes, you are. It's awfully sad. Don't you have any other worries?

[Raspberry88]

which you have no right to pass judgement over as it's not actually really harming them.

In fact we have every right. Every right. Just as you have every right to question practices that you deem to be harmful.
For me it's not just the pain. I think it's fundamentally harmful to perform a cosmetic procedure on a child because I believe it says to them:

1. Their body is not their own
2. Their purpose is decorative
3. Painful practice must be endured in order to fit it...

I could go on. It's like insisting that girls wear skirts or should have long hair (my own experience) but doubly awful because it's painful.
Who are you to say that it's harmless when pp have shown that it isn't. That it's painful and causes the babies distress and that it impedes fun, rough and tumble, play and physical exercise.
I repeat...nothing and no one is above criticism.

[needanappp]

YANBU but I think some of the age limits suggested are a bit high. I had my ears done when I was 4 and I had pestered my mom for weeks! The other girls at school had them done and I felt left out! It didn't hurt at all but the sight of the gun scared me a bit. I was proud as punch when I had the studs in! I still remember them vividly! Silver stars. I wanted gold hearts but they had run out

[Raspberry88]

Yes, you are. It's awfully sad. Don't you have any other worries?

I'm sure Tapas has plenty. If only someone would answer the question she wouldn't have to keep asking!!