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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

She forgot to collect her from school

92 replies

Sunflower268 · 10/04/2019 20:24

Today I had a knock on my door not long after picking up DC from school, it was my neighbours daughter. She explained that she thought her mum would be walking her home from school but she didn't turn up so she went home and she's not at home either. From what I know her mum walks to and from school with her some days and other days she doesn't, there's not a set routine. She's in year 6 and school isn't far away so she's old enough to walk by herself and most the year 6's do however she does seem developmentally behind for her age and needs the extra help sometimes compared to other 11 year olds. I phoned her mum obviously concerned about where she was and she said she had completely forgotten and would be home in about 10 minutes. She then turns up about 30 minutes later and explains that she was out at the shops. Surely you don't just forget to collect your child from school and not only that but forget to be home at least for when they get there all because you were too busy shopping?

OP posts:

Mommaof2x · 10/04/2019 20:26

She probably meant she didn’t realise the time. Maybe then she continued to wait in the queue before leaving or something

Mintandthyme · 10/04/2019 20:26

I think life just gets in the way sometimes.
And in fairness the child was sensible for knocking on your door and asking for help.

Tiredmum100 · 10/04/2019 20:27

No can't say I've ever forgotten my children. My whole day removes around their drop off and pick up when I'm not in work. They are only 5 and 7 though. Does the child have a key to get in?

krustykittens · 10/04/2019 20:28

I did this once. One child was on an inset day, another wasn't. I saw a blonde head bobbing about outside as I was working and completely forgot the other blond head was at school. I was mortified when I realised and dashed to the school, where my child was patiently waiting in the office.

pessimisticstateofperception · 10/04/2019 20:30

Shit happens sometimes, the child was sensible and the mum likely won't do it again. We all make mistakes.

Smoggle · 10/04/2019 20:32

These things happen, no harm done.

trilbydoll · 10/04/2019 20:33

I was working at someone's house once and her neighbour turned up with her kids, she hasn't even realised she'd forgotten to go and get them

TowerRavenSeven · 10/04/2019 20:34

Yalu. Ever hear of parents whose kids have died because they were not used to taking them to day care and the child fell asleep and died of heat exhaustion? You’d be surprised what very normal people can forget if it’s not part of a routine. Cut the mum some slack.

brodybear · 10/04/2019 20:36

I forgot to get mine from a party once. She was only 4 and I wasn't even shopping, I was sitting watching tv

EvaHarknessRose · 10/04/2019 20:36

I asked dh to do the school run when I was on training once, he assumed wrongly that I only meant the morning.

If it's a one off, maybe she just made a mistake or has brain fog going on. If you are concerned there is more going on, let school know. Child might be a young carer or needs being neglected.

missymayhemsmum · 10/04/2019 20:37

me too, dd was in year 6 and getting used to a bit of independence last summer. Sometimes I met her, sometimes she walked home, or walked to my office to go into town. On occasion one or both of us forgot what we had said... cue mortifying calls from the school office.

Oakmaiden · 10/04/2019 20:39

My mum forgot to pick me up from boarding school at the end of term once.

AND she once left me asleep outside the NAAFI and caught the bus home when I was a baby.

It is easy to forget to do stuff occasionally.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 10/04/2019 20:39

I'd let the school know what happened, they can hold onto her next time nobody comes for her.

QuaintDuck · 10/04/2019 20:44

My mum once forgot to pick me up from school when she was pregnant with my brother! Her best friend was picking her children up from the same school & let herself in to find my mum asleep at the kitchen table Never understood what she meant by pregnancy exhaustion until I had my own!

cadburyegg · 10/04/2019 20:46

YABU in 6 months time she will be in secondary school

Rubusfruticosus · 10/04/2019 20:46

So the mum just lost track of time? The child is old enough to walk home, did she have a key? Is there a home phone? It sounds like the mum needs a way to communicate with the child so no one is worried if she is late back again.

adaline · 10/04/2019 20:46

My friend once forgot her daughter in M&S. Came out to meet her husband with the car - with shopping but without daughter! Even when her DH said "Have you forgotten something?" it didn't click that she'd left her baby in the trolley!

RB68 · 10/04/2019 20:46

I would say it happens, and in this instance she had obviously told the child what to do - ie go to a neighbour and ask for help. She will be at secondary next year so likely doing this by herself more - maybe suggest getting her a key or putting a key safe in for her to use if she gets home and no one there. In itself I wouldn't say there was an issue unless it happens frequently or there are other signs of problems,. As for development needs - lots of kids get extra help at school especially in SATS year I don't think you can rely on that to id she has SEN or anything and therefore needs extra help generally

thelonggame · 10/04/2019 20:47

I forgot to collect my two once, they were year 7 and 8 though so a bit older.
It's really not the end of the world if its a one off

MillicentMartha · 10/04/2019 20:47

I forgot to reset my watch after a clock change once and was in town Monday afternoon at 2.30 when a friend rang me. Yes, it was 3.30.

IvanaPee · 10/04/2019 20:51

Ach, it happens!

Rubusfruticosus · 10/04/2019 20:51

I'd let the school know what happened, they can hold onto her next time nobody comes for her. The child is almost secondary school age and walks home on other days. She could go back to the school office herself if she was expecting to be met by a parent that day and was worried.

livinglavidavillanelle · 10/04/2019 20:53

Oh blimey, give the woman a break. It's not like she forgot her three year old.

Apoiads · 10/04/2019 20:55

I forgot a dc's birthday once. I remembered the next day. I was away with work. I have no idea how I had forgotten it, as I had been planning presents etc, up to a week before. I then got so caught up with work that I literally just forgot. Completely forgot. I wasn't in the office where you notice the date etc., and my dc has not forgiven me yet.

brodybear · 10/04/2019 20:56

I'd let the school know what happened, they can hold onto her next time nobody comes for her.

as if they are going to 'hold' an 11 year old child on the say so of a random person!

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