She forgot to collect her from school

[Sunflower268]

Today I had a knock on my door not long after picking up DC from school, it was my neighbours daughter. She explained that she thought her mum would be walking her home from school but she didn't turn up so she went home and she's not at home either. From what I know her mum walks to and from school with her some days and other days she doesn't, there's not a set routine. She's in year 6 and school isn't far away so she's old enough to walk by herself and most the year 6's do however she does seem developmentally behind for her age and needs the extra help sometimes compared to other 11 year olds. I phoned her mum obviously concerned about where she was and she said she had completely forgotten and would be home in about 10 minutes. She then turns up about 30 minutes later and explains that she was out at the shops. Surely you don't just forget to collect your child from school and not only that but forget to be home at least for when they get there all because you were too busy shopping?

I fell asleep with dd as a baby, woke up to phone call asking if I was picking up ds2 aged 6 from school, or if the teacher could take him for fish and chips?
I have never made it to school so quick, got there at 3.45 when he finished at 3.00pm
Never did it again, sometimes shit just happens.

Her body clock may not have adapted to the clocks going forward.

I 'forgot' DD twice at pick up time, within a fortnight, worked nights and the house next door was being renovated, so both weeks I got very disturbed and very little sleep for 2 days, third day I must have zonked out completely and slept through not only their noise but my alarm too. I was mortified, the school were great, which makes a change when it comes to people working nights. They knew they were on my do not disturb by pass list, but they had to ring twice in 15 minutes for it to come through. The secretary guessed I'd overslept and just kept ringing until I answered. Wasn't a big deal, and it happened twice in a short space of time.
I don't think once is horrendous, if it keeps happening then yes, but once is a mistake.

My mother forgot to pick me up from school once. It was literally just the once. Sometimes these things happen.

I mentioned it because it makes the situation different to a more able 11 year old being left on their own for a bit

Absolutely. Even now we only leave our year 9 DC alone for 90 mins tops. It is a bit odd, can only assume she thought they were going elsewhere but said ‘I forgot’ as a knee jerk reaction.
I do think it was very good thinking on the 11 years olds to go to you though.I know mine wouldn’t think of going round to my friend saying they couldn’t get in. It is a worry.

I’ve managed to forget mine before - left the 15 year old locked in boot (7 seater with those funny chairs). Walked away and heard him knocking! The middle one went for tea at friends house the other day and I was consumed at work, forgot he was there thinking DH had collected him from school until the mum rang me - with 3 kids, dh, two dogs and running my own business I’m ashamed to say I drop many many balls!!

Just remembered I also forgot to pick youngest up from stagecoach once - god I’m shit!! I love my kids and try my hardest but sometimes I miss the mark!!

I left my newborn in the car parked downstairs in the street (we live in a lindon flat) whilst I packed the shopping away and made a coffee. It’s only when I sat to have the coffee that I remembered that I had a baby!
I felt so awful but these things happen.
(He was fine - still sleeping)

Never forgotten. But have been very late and they had to wait in the school office (in tears). Felt awful but explained to them that things like this happens and it is good they learn how to cope. To go to school office, etc. So cut the mum some slack. She probably decided to finish her shopping once she learned her daughter was safe with you.

My mum once picked me up got home and cooked dinner it was only when I said where's Carl she realised he was still at school. We got there to find him sleeping in the book corner. Could be other things going on in her life that made it slip her mind unless it's regular I wouldn't panic my guess is she's feeling pretty guilty as is.

It was a one off. I'd cut the mum some slack, we've all ballsed up at one time or another. Obviously if there are other reasons to be concerned then raise it with the school etc. but in isolation this is a bit of non-event in my book.

It seems that you think there's something suspicious in how long it took her to get back from the shops. It doesn't sound like you're that close, and your shoes I'd probably assume she had some kind of personal issue that she didn't want to share with you (medical appointment, bad news, family drama etc) rather than that she'd been up to something alarming or nefarious.

YANBU. The child had no access to get into their house, although was able to proactively think a solution luckily. Could have been exactly the same situation but on a wet December evening when it is almost dark already and been quite dangerous.

For me the more concerning thing isn't the actual forgetting, but the way you discribe her being quite blasé about it and getting back much later than stated.

I don't think it's too bad for a one off tbh. If it was once a week, sure, but in this situation it wouldn't concern me. I might be a bit about how long it took her to get back, but 30 minutes is stil hardly taking the pee is it? It's not like she rocked up 2 hours later.

My dd has been forgotten once. We have quite a complicated pick up routine where it is mainly shared between her dad, my parents and his sister. I can't even remember the situation but for one reason or another, something threw the normal routine off and everyone assumed the ither person was doing it. It was only when school rang me (at work), that we realised something hadn't wuite worked out. We have had a few near misses too where I have realised at 3 (school shuts at 3.15) that the normal routine is disrupted because someone is on holiday or whatever and have to make frantic phone calls to get someone outside in the next few minutes

I forgot to pick dd3 up from nursery once, I was having a coffee with my friend and thought I had time before school pick up - completely forgot that nursery finished half an hour earlier.

Looked after my friend's daughter once, my dd2 was asleep in the cot, we heard the ice cream van and went out to find it with friend's daughter and dd1, totally forgot that dd2 was in her cot until we were 2 streets away.

My ex left a child on a football field, aged eight. He was busy shopping in a diy store. Massive prat. Luckily all ended well.

My DM forgot to pick me up from the school trip when I was 12. I'd been in Belgium. For a week.

The last parents picking up their kid took pity on me and brought me home.

Never even got an apology.

So it took her 20 minutes longer than she predicted to get to yours once she realised. I don’t thinks that’s blasé at all, she may have had to queue at checkout, misplaced her car keys, got stuck in car park, hit unexpected traffic.

I work nights and didn’t turn up to collect one child at 3.00, school weren’t overly concerned as other child had after school club so thought I’d got muddled. They put both kids into the club but when I hadn’t picked up by 4.10, 10 minutes after the club finished they tried phoning me. It kept going to answer phone, they phoned my parents who were down as emergency contacts who collected the kids.

It had never happened before so school and my parents were worried, my parents particularly as they knew I was suffering with depression. Luckily the kids weren’t phased, they just said I expect mum’s slept through the alarm. I hadn’t actually, I was knackered but my phone battery was low so I had set my alarm and put it on charge but the charger cable must have been loose or something so the battery died and the alarm obviously didn’t go off. I must have been in a deep sleep as it was 4.30 when my mum woke me and I didn’t know what time or what day it was or why she was in my bedroom.