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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was IBU to not replace this drink?

422 replies

SoftPlayStandOff · 10/04/2019 15:25

Soft play centre. Large one with different areas for different age groups.

I'm sat in the corner of the pre-schooler area - DS2 (4) and DS3 (2) are around and about playing. I stand up and look the opposite way to check on DS1 (7) and DD1 (10) who are elsewhere in the older kids section. When I turn around DS2 has a fruit shoot in his hand. I tell him to put it down, its not his. He does so and I think no more of it.

A couple of minutes later a woman comes up and tells me DS2 has drunk out of her child's drink. I apologise, say that i didn't see him drink it but I'd asked him to put it down when I saw he had it. She went away.

I speak to DS2 and he says DS3 handed it to him so he thought it was DS3's so had a mouthful. DS3 had picked it up from the middle of the floor in the middle of the soft play.

A couple of minutes later the woman's friend comes and asks if i'm replacing the drink. I laugh thinking she's joking and explain that I was sorry but it had been left in the middle of the floor and my toddler picked it up and gave it to his brother. She says again - 'well XXX can't drink it now its had his lips on it, are you going to by another?' I apologised again and suggested that surely a wipe with a baby wipe would be fine? She looks incredulous and says something about germs. I point out that its softplay - germs are everywhere and no, i was not replacing a drink that had been left in the middle of the room that my child had inadvertently taken a sip of.

Had this been a reverse I would have just wiped the bottle and let my kid get on with their drink. If i was the sort to be concerned by germs i would have not been at softplay or at the very least i would have kept my kids bottles by me (as I had done with my own kids bottles).

They proceed to bitch about it loudly until I left.

SO WIBU to not replace the drink in these circumstances?

OP posts:
Original poster
SoftPlayStandOff · 10/04/2019 18:06

i'm not saying it was right that my DC drank someone else's drink, only that i think the 'fault' was with her for allowing her DC to take a drink into the soft play and then put it down unattended. had it been on a table that would have been my 'fault' for not supervising DC correctly.

OP posts:
NicoAndTheNiners · 10/04/2019 18:07

Her kid will learn a lesson that if you put your drink down some other kid might have it. The mum will learn a lesson not to let your kid leave the table/seating bit with the drink.

I think she was being cheeky asking you to replace it.

similarminimer · 10/04/2019 18:09

Teachable moment for the other kid. Don't leave stuff where it's not supposed to be and if you do don't be surprised if it gets lost or spoiled. Everything in a soft play area is fair game. 2 year olds aren't going to understand that something belongs to someone else if it's loose in a room full of stuff they are encouraged to pick up and play with. If the litterbug was thirsty then his mother could have got him a glass of water. Fruit shoots are not a human right.

Bluntness100 · 10/04/2019 18:14

I also don't think the location is important. If your kid drinks someone else's drink you replace it. There really is no more to it. It's not free for all because it was in the wrong place, it doesn't mean anyone is welcome to have it. It's ludicrous to suggest it is some sort of fair game because the kid put it down on the floor and the ops kid was subsequently entitled to it.

However if you can't afford to replace it, it's moot. You apologised, it's done.

I would though simply say supervise your kids better so you see them pick up and drink drinks that are not theirs and can tell them to put it back. Don't take the approach if it's laying around in soft play your kids are entitled to it and you don't need to replace it if they have it.

bpirockin · 10/04/2019 18:16

I'm surprised at the number of people who think this is unreasonable. If the mother was so worried about germs wth was she doing allowing her child to take the drink away from her and into the play area to leave it unattended.

Ridiculous!

gamerchick · 10/04/2019 18:20

The child helped himself to something that didn't belong to him. The person who owned it wanted it replaced. What does it matter where it was

He's TWO. Christ sakes man. Toddlers pick stuff up. This one happened to give it to his brother. Jesus Hmm

It’s a £1. No one can call a pound a significant amount of money

I take it you've never ran out of milk and been 4 days before payday then?

gamerchick · 10/04/2019 18:22

shoots are not a human right

That should go on a tee shirt Grin

gamerchick · 10/04/2019 18:22

*fruit shoots rather.

This threads mint Grin

HarrysOwl · 10/04/2019 18:25

supervise your kids better so you see them pick up and drink drinks that are not theirs and can tell them to put it back.

The other mother should have supervised her kid better so when he left a drink on the floor she could have told him to pick it up (and not take it there in the first place).

OP is not responsible whatsoever here. The other mother over reacted. Egged on by her friend, probably.

PepsiLola · 10/04/2019 18:31

I wouldn't have replaced it, purely for the fact she got her friend to come over and "kick off".

If she acted like an adult and asked you herself I probably would have threw her a quid and told her she was daft to leave it in the middle of the floor.

Original poster
SoftPlayStandOff · 10/04/2019 18:32

bluntness did you miss the part about me having 4DC there on my own? 2 in the toddler/preschool area where i was, and two in the older kids section - tell me how you watch 4 kids in 4 different directions at all times?! I saw him with the bottle and told him to put it down straight away. i hadn't seen him pick it up as i was checking on my older two. had i seen the bottle in the first place and seen my child make a move to pick it up i would have stopped him of course. it just happened while i was checking where my other two were - or should i not be allowed to take my 4 DC out without 3 other adults so each child can be watched every nano-second?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 10/04/2019 18:33

It’s a £1. No one can call a pound a significant amount of money

Are you sure about that? Confused

Giddyuppp · 10/04/2019 18:35

YANBU. I wouldn't have replaced a drink that had been discarded on the floor of the soft play. If it had been on the table I may have done just for an easy life but it sounds like it was pretty much just ditched in the first place.

Lamkin · 10/04/2019 18:44

Crikey the kid didn't run up and take the drink from another child's mouth/hand.
It was unattended.
It's not great practice to leave discarded food/drink around in soft play areas anyway, regardless of who it belongs to.
Other mum should've put it away.

MummyMummy01 · 10/04/2019 18:48

I would have complained back to her that as she could not supervise her kids drinks on the table my little lambkins may have contracted foot and mouth from her germ ridden child and how is she going to compensate me 🤣🤣🤣🤣.

FrancisCrawford · 10/04/2019 18:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrancisCrawford · 10/04/2019 18:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NunoGoncalves · 10/04/2019 18:53

Funnily enough, most situations aren't black and white and lots of things are open to interpretation. I guess that's what makes AIBU such a horrible place, in a way.

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have instinctively offered to replace it, since leaving a drink lying around in the middle of a softplay area is kind of stupid, but if she had asked me I think I would have just done it as it was obviously important to her and I'm so rich that I can throw away one pound on keeping the peace with a stressed out germophobe.

Order654 · 10/04/2019 19:09

@HarrysOwl - it’s a pound. If the op can afford to go to softplay and buy food and drinks in these over priced places she isn’t struggling that much that she can’t afford a quid.

Friedspamfritters · 10/04/2019 19:14

blubtness no one would encourage their child to drink from a bottle on the floor but I wouldn't expect there to be a bottle of drink lying on the floor so I wouldn't be supervising my child to the same degree I would be in a cafe. Therefore if you put it in the wrong place the fault is yours and you pay.

If my toddler got onto your table and trampled your glasses I would be responsible, if you left your glasses on the floor of the soft play and my toddler trampled them that's your fault.

Friedspamfritters · 10/04/2019 19:15

order stop being an idiot. Op saved up to goto soft play a pound is significant to her which is why she took proper care of the bottles of drink she paid for. If the money was significant to the other woman she should have taken proper care of the drink bottle.

HBStowe · 10/04/2019 19:17

YANBU. Their job to keep an eye on their things if they’re that precious about germs.

Shelbybear · 10/04/2019 19:17

I wouldn't have as it shouldn't have been left around. Are they even allowed drinks in the soft play. The one I go to has signs saying no food or drink in the play area. I've have seen it sometimes and infact my daughter has tried to pick one up and I had to stop her. It actually pisses me off as the rules are there for a reason!

Friedspamfritters · 10/04/2019 19:20

That's like me saying if you can afford a £200 meal you can afford to replace my £200 meal I left on the floor.

HarrysOwl · 10/04/2019 19:43

If the op can afford to go to softplay

It's called saving and budgeting.

There's no need to be obnoxious about it.