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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was IBU to not replace this drink?

422 replies

SoftPlayStandOff · 10/04/2019 15:25

Soft play centre. Large one with different areas for different age groups.

I'm sat in the corner of the pre-schooler area - DS2 (4) and DS3 (2) are around and about playing. I stand up and look the opposite way to check on DS1 (7) and DD1 (10) who are elsewhere in the older kids section. When I turn around DS2 has a fruit shoot in his hand. I tell him to put it down, its not his. He does so and I think no more of it.

A couple of minutes later a woman comes up and tells me DS2 has drunk out of her child's drink. I apologise, say that i didn't see him drink it but I'd asked him to put it down when I saw he had it. She went away.

I speak to DS2 and he says DS3 handed it to him so he thought it was DS3's so had a mouthful. DS3 had picked it up from the middle of the floor in the middle of the soft play.

A couple of minutes later the woman's friend comes and asks if i'm replacing the drink. I laugh thinking she's joking and explain that I was sorry but it had been left in the middle of the floor and my toddler picked it up and gave it to his brother. She says again - 'well XXX can't drink it now its had his lips on it, are you going to by another?' I apologised again and suggested that surely a wipe with a baby wipe would be fine? She looks incredulous and says something about germs. I point out that its softplay - germs are everywhere and no, i was not replacing a drink that had been left in the middle of the room that my child had inadvertently taken a sip of.

Had this been a reverse I would have just wiped the bottle and let my kid get on with their drink. If i was the sort to be concerned by germs i would have not been at softplay or at the very least i would have kept my kids bottles by me (as I had done with my own kids bottles).

They proceed to bitch about it loudly until I left.

SO WIBU to not replace the drink in these circumstances?

OP posts:
Cantdoright1 · 10/04/2019 19:45

I would have said to the other woman oh no your child left an opened bottle of drink in the toddler section where it clearly says no drinks and my little one drank some. Are yours carrying any viruses at the moment, I really hope my son hasn't caught anything. Please be more vigilant next time as I believe the no drink or food rule is there for a reason. None of us want our littles ones being even more sick than they normally are.

ThriftyMcThrifty · 10/04/2019 19:49

There is no way I would have replaced it, absolutely not. Anyone leaving a kids drink on the floor of soft play must realise a kid is going to pick it up and drink it! What a cheeky woman.

FrancisCrawford · 10/04/2019 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TomorrowsDiet · 10/04/2019 19:56

You absolutely should have replaced the drink.

Teddybear45 · 10/04/2019 19:58

If it were me she wouldn’t have been able to ask, because I would have already kicked off and complained about them leaving the drink unsupervised in the middle of softplay. It could have had anything in it.

Ihatehashtags · 10/04/2019 20:09

You definitely should have replaced it. Your kid did it, that makes it your problem

Warpdrive · 10/04/2019 20:28

Protocol when in public in this country is to always be polite (OP I assume you are British). Therefore, friend of miffed mum (MM) really shouldn’t have approached you. However, she did, so in this case you ought to have complied with her wishes and replaced the drink so MM didn’t feel hard done by.

OP, you don’t know but MM might be struggling financially and that drink might have been considered a real treat for one of her kids who dropped it while MM had her back turned for a moment. MM doesn’t know you, your family history, the cleanliness of your children, and might (quite naturally IMO) not want to allow her child’s precious lips to drink from a vessel your beautiful child has just slobbered over.

I think YABU under the circumstances, but whether you want to accept that is up to you.

Nixen · 10/04/2019 20:38

I would have replaced it and I would also be teaching my children not to drink things off the floor - if they did that in a public park it could have been anything!

Piewife · 10/04/2019 20:44

YANBU

They shouldn't have let the child take it into the soft play area or leave it on the floor. Do that and it is likely that some other child will pick it up and potentially drink it.

I also wouldn't have replaced it in these circumstances.

As others have said, if your child had picked it up from a table and drank it that'd be different.

FrancisCrawford · 10/04/2019 20:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HarrysOwl · 10/04/2019 20:52

you ought to have complied with her wishes and replaced the drink so MM didn’t feel hard done by.

I'd like you to buy me a Porsche. I don't want to feel hard done by.

lordofthefries · 10/04/2019 20:55

This has happened to me with my DS, another little boy picked his drink up from the floor (I had put it down whilst running to get DS from going into the big kids bit. His mum apologised, I told her not to worry as these things happen and got my son another drink. I’m funny about germs, but I wouldn’t expect others to pay for an accident

Sparklybanana · 10/04/2019 20:58

I wouldn't have replaced it. It was abandoned in the middle of the floor. How do you know it was actually hers? Grab a left bottle and leave it somewhere where little hands can reach it, wait for a kid to drink it and get a free drink from apparently quite a few mumsnetters. Sounds like a plan!
Kids will grab anyone's drinks and so the owners should either keep an eye on them or be prepared for them to be drunk. Especially if they are in an area where food and drink shouldn't be. Yanbu!

minisoksmakehardwork · 10/04/2019 21:03

I wouldn't have replaced it either. Chances are there was next to nothing left in it, you can't be sure how much your kids drank. And if they're anything like my centre it's £1.50 for one of the small fruit shoots! (We don't go there unless invited to parties or have won tickets).

What I would do is teach my kids not to eat/drink things they find on the floor. Soft play centres are grim.

NewPapaGuinea · 10/04/2019 21:06

Squabbling over whether a parent should replace a “tainted” drink is beyond the ridiculousness of even Mumsnet.

HavelockVetinari · 10/04/2019 21:08

I'd like you to buy me a Porsche. I don't want to feel hard done by.

@HarrysOwl Well since you clearly identify as a Porsche owner, to refuse to give you a Porsche would be massively Porsche-phobic. Fucking bigots, they're everywhere! Angry

Babayaggatheboneylegged · 10/04/2019 21:17

More divisive than Brexit, this!

Fwiw, I’m a total remainder/non-replacer

Babayaggatheboneylegged · 10/04/2019 21:18

Oh, and I HATE the wastage associated with our modern day horror of germs

Warpdrive · 10/04/2019 21:34

@Harrysowl If you lost your Porsche, and I found it, decided it was mine and took it for a spin using up your petrol, then you found it and asked me to replace the petrol I’d used, the correct thing would be for me to replace the petrol that I had used on my joyride.

But there you go, I’m the sort of person who takes accountability for my actions and for those I’m responsible.

gamerchick · 10/04/2019 21:41

OP, you don’t know but MM might be struggling financially and that drink might have been considered a real treat for one of her kids who dropped it while MM had her back turned for a moment. MM doesn’t know you, your family history, the cleanliness of your children, and might (quite naturally IMO) not want to allow her child’s precious lips to drink from a vessel your beautiful child has just slobbered over

This is fucking gold this is Grin I'm going to assume it's TIC because nobody could type that shit with a straight face!

NewPapaGuinea · 10/04/2019 21:52

I actually heard a woman use the word, vessel. Her child was trying to take my child’s bottle and she said “No, probablyapretentiousname, that’s not your drinking vessel”

Celebelly · 10/04/2019 21:52

I'm cracking up.

Maybe she had to send her children down the mines so they could afford this once in a lifetime treat. It was on the floor because they were preparing to get on their knees and worship it until OP's child drank the precious holy nectar within and tainted it forevermore.

Or maybe it was just a fucking fruit shoot in a soft play area.

Myheartbelongsto · 10/04/2019 22:03

if it wouldn't have occurred to you to replace it, then you have shitty manners.

fair enough there's germs everywhere in soft play, that is not the issue here really.

if i picked up your coffee by mkistake would you honestly just wipe it with a babywipe and carry on drinking it? of course not and i wouldn't expect you to either as I have manners.

Myheartbelongsto · 10/04/2019 22:03

oh the irony that i spelt mistake wrong.

Purpleartichoke · 10/04/2019 22:05

Things left in the play area unattended are going to get picked up. She should have been supervising her child more closely. I would not replace the drink.

This makes me think about all the times I have seen parents leave very expensive phones on the floor of a play area or park equipment. Just lying there waiting to be stepped on or picked up and dropped. I wouldn’t replace a phone that got damaged in that circumstance either.

You can only expect others to treat your property with respect if you treat it with respect in the first place.

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