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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was IBU to not replace this drink?

422 replies

SoftPlayStandOff · 10/04/2019 15:25

Soft play centre. Large one with different areas for different age groups.

I'm sat in the corner of the pre-schooler area - DS2 (4) and DS3 (2) are around and about playing. I stand up and look the opposite way to check on DS1 (7) and DD1 (10) who are elsewhere in the older kids section. When I turn around DS2 has a fruit shoot in his hand. I tell him to put it down, its not his. He does so and I think no more of it.

A couple of minutes later a woman comes up and tells me DS2 has drunk out of her child's drink. I apologise, say that i didn't see him drink it but I'd asked him to put it down when I saw he had it. She went away.

I speak to DS2 and he says DS3 handed it to him so he thought it was DS3's so had a mouthful. DS3 had picked it up from the middle of the floor in the middle of the soft play.

A couple of minutes later the woman's friend comes and asks if i'm replacing the drink. I laugh thinking she's joking and explain that I was sorry but it had been left in the middle of the floor and my toddler picked it up and gave it to his brother. She says again - 'well XXX can't drink it now its had his lips on it, are you going to by another?' I apologised again and suggested that surely a wipe with a baby wipe would be fine? She looks incredulous and says something about germs. I point out that its softplay - germs are everywhere and no, i was not replacing a drink that had been left in the middle of the room that my child had inadvertently taken a sip of.

Had this been a reverse I would have just wiped the bottle and let my kid get on with their drink. If i was the sort to be concerned by germs i would have not been at softplay or at the very least i would have kept my kids bottles by me (as I had done with my own kids bottles).

They proceed to bitch about it loudly until I left.

SO WIBU to not replace the drink in these circumstances?

OP posts:
Mummadeeze · 10/04/2019 17:14

I mean I would have bought my child a new drink!

Celebelly · 10/04/2019 17:20

Christ, who gets that bothered about a bloody fruit shoot. If you don't want your kid to drink it just throw it in the bin and get another. I honestly am baffled people have the energy to get worked up about stuff like this and fuss about how disgusting it is when someone has probably shat in the ball pit. Those places are a health hazard in general.

MolyHolyGuacamole · 10/04/2019 17:27

Can't count the number of times some toddler has grabbed one of the kids' drink bottles (that we bring from home). Never occurred to me bit to let them drink from it again!

What would she have done if it wasn't a 'paid for' drink and was just from a soppy cup?

YANBU and can't believe many have an issue with it!

BasilTheGreat · 10/04/2019 17:35

YANBU What if your child had diabetes? She left it unattended in the middle of the play area.

Yabbers · 10/04/2019 17:36

I can't believe the suggestion that the location of the drink is important to the question of whether or not it should be replaced.

The child helped himself to something that didn't belong to him. The person who owned it wanted it replaced. What does it matter where it was?

If the item was one of your children's toys that a child broke, would it matter where it was? Or if a child left their shoes there and not in the area where shoes are supposed to be, it's ok to take them?

Being in a soft play and accepting it can be germy is entirely different from being happy to drink from a bottle after another kid has done so. I wouldn't want to do that, why expect another kid to be happy with it? It doesn't matter what you think about it, the other mum was quite right to expect it to be replaced if she didn't want her child to drink out of it.

Yabbers · 10/04/2019 17:38

What if your child had diabetes

Then presumably you'd teach your child never to drink out of a bottle if they can't be sure what's in it, or if it doesn't belong to them. Are we really just accepting toddlers are so feral they can't be expected not to do things like this?

phoenixrosehere · 10/04/2019 17:40

Yanbu.

If it had been in the designated food and drink area, yes. In the playing area where it shouldn’t have been unaccompanied or there for that matter, no.

This is why we bring are own cups from home and keep them with us or put away so we don’t have to worry about such things. The mum should have kept the drink with her if she was that concerned about germs. Any child could have picked it up before your child so either she saw him do it and did nothing or ju

phoenixrosehere · 10/04/2019 17:42

*just assumed it was her child’s.

Aprillygirl · 10/04/2019 17:42

The polite thing to do would have been to have offered to replace the drink without having to be asked. YABU

Sparkles07 · 10/04/2019 17:45

YABU. replace the drink if asked to, but wouldn't have offered to if no one asked.

SleepingStandingUp · 10/04/2019 17:47

Where was the bottle in all of this? If their child can't touch it did thry actually discard it or give it you? Sounds more like they were trying it on.

If they'd said well you might as well have it, Dave isn't lowed to have it now I'd have offered. If little Dave is clearly still drinking from it and Imit was genuinely just a sip I wouldn't.

How did they know it was little Dave's anyway as he'd dumped it in the floor?

lisamac28 · 10/04/2019 17:49

YANBU OP, she was in the wrong.

I know I'll get lynched for this but please stop with the 'of' folks, I can't cope -gives me irrational feelings.

You should definitely of replaced it

I wouldn't of replaced it

You should of replaced it

HarrysOwl · 10/04/2019 17:49

*If the item was one of your children's toys that a child broke, would it matter where it was?"

False comparison.

Why do posters reply to an imaginary alternative post?!

Original poster
SoftPlayStandOff · 10/04/2019 17:52

actually if my child had taken their own toy into soft play and it got broken i would tell them tough luck, they shouldn't have had it in there.

OP posts:
LordPickle · 10/04/2019 17:52

FML...the amount of people saying OP should have replaced the drink is shocking. Sometimes MN is so fucking weird.

I take my DS to soft plays and toddler groups and drinks often get "shared" because that's how kids are and it's never occurred to me to demand a drink replacement after some random child drank from my son's juice.

If a parent is that crazy about germs then the drinks shouldn't be where other kids can pick them up.

YADNBU OP.

outpinked · 10/04/2019 17:52

YABU, can’t believe you even questioned replacing it and told them to wipe the germs away with a baby wipe Shock. All of this over a £1 drink...

Original poster
SoftPlayStandOff · 10/04/2019 17:53

shoes is clearly different as my child wouldn't have been able to take the shoes without me noticing before we left! and of course i wouldn't steal someones shoes!

OP posts:
HarrysOwl · 10/04/2019 17:53

All of this over a £1

Just because it's pennies to you, doesn't mean it's not a significant amount to someone else.

Order654 · 10/04/2019 17:57

*All of this over a £1

Just because it's pennies to you, doesn't mean it's not a significant amount to someone else.*

It’s a £1. No one can call a pound a significant amount of money.

letsgohooray · 10/04/2019 17:57

OP, you strangely view it as completely different whether the drink was swiped off a table or off the floor. Was it your family's drink? No. Replace it.

Margot33 · 10/04/2019 17:58

If it was off a table yes I would replace it. But it was on the floor of a soft play area?! So who knows how many toddlers drank out of it?! No you are not being unreasonable.

kingsassassin · 10/04/2019 18:00

If you don't have a pound it is a very significant amount of money. Just because it isn't much to you, doesn't mean that that applies universally.

Original poster
SoftPlayStandOff · 10/04/2019 18:03

letgo yes i do, i think it makes a big difference where the drink was. Mostly because i would be rasonably convinced that my kids wouldn't help themself to another family's table or bag or picnnic area. the middle of the soft play floor is an open invitation to a 2yo.

OP posts:
Connieston · 10/04/2019 18:03

When a pound is significant you don't let your kid wander around with the drink where it might end up spilled or lost in a ballpit.

HarrysOwl · 10/04/2019 18:05

@Order654

Any amount that you don't have is significant.

You can't be that naive.

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