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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was IBU to not replace this drink?

422 replies

SoftPlayStandOff · 10/04/2019 15:25

Soft play centre. Large one with different areas for different age groups.

I'm sat in the corner of the pre-schooler area - DS2 (4) and DS3 (2) are around and about playing. I stand up and look the opposite way to check on DS1 (7) and DD1 (10) who are elsewhere in the older kids section. When I turn around DS2 has a fruit shoot in his hand. I tell him to put it down, its not his. He does so and I think no more of it.

A couple of minutes later a woman comes up and tells me DS2 has drunk out of her child's drink. I apologise, say that i didn't see him drink it but I'd asked him to put it down when I saw he had it. She went away.

I speak to DS2 and he says DS3 handed it to him so he thought it was DS3's so had a mouthful. DS3 had picked it up from the middle of the floor in the middle of the soft play.

A couple of minutes later the woman's friend comes and asks if i'm replacing the drink. I laugh thinking she's joking and explain that I was sorry but it had been left in the middle of the floor and my toddler picked it up and gave it to his brother. She says again - 'well XXX can't drink it now its had his lips on it, are you going to by another?' I apologised again and suggested that surely a wipe with a baby wipe would be fine? She looks incredulous and says something about germs. I point out that its softplay - germs are everywhere and no, i was not replacing a drink that had been left in the middle of the room that my child had inadvertently taken a sip of.

Had this been a reverse I would have just wiped the bottle and let my kid get on with their drink. If i was the sort to be concerned by germs i would have not been at softplay or at the very least i would have kept my kids bottles by me (as I had done with my own kids bottles).

They proceed to bitch about it loudly until I left.

SO WIBU to not replace the drink in these circumstances?

OP posts:
NoseyBuggerMummy · 10/04/2019 16:42

Why weren't you watching your child? Id never let my child drink from some scabby fruit shoot on the floor. If you were watching in the first place it wouldnt have happened.

God forbid someone should divert their eyes from their child for 30 seconds at a soft play centre! I'm clutching my pearls at the very thought of it. The other day I even saw a parent glance momentarily at their phone at soft play! The horror! I followed her home and called social services immediately (I probably should've called 101 in hindsight).

It's not as if the soft play area is designed to be soft and keep kids relatively safe and it's not as if they put up signs reminding you not to take food and drink in so there shouldn't be random bottles of drink left lying on the floor in the first place!

OoohAyyye · 10/04/2019 16:42

I wouldn't have replaced it either. It's their responsibility to ensure that their child's drink doesn't leave the table. It's hardly surprising your LO picked it up!

If he had taken it from the table however I absolutely would have replaced it.

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 10/04/2019 16:43

Yanbu at all. It's soft play and full of germs so some random kid getting their child's drink won't do any harm.

They should have left it in a more suitable place. They're cf.

Original poster
SoftPlayStandOff · 10/04/2019 16:43

vlad good job i named-changed then!! if the biggest thing going on right now that the Fail can find to report on is an abandoned fruit shoot then all must be rosy with the world!!

OP posts:
gamerchick · 10/04/2019 16:43

Why weren't you watching your child? Id never let my child drink from some scabby fruit shoot on the floor. If you were watching in the first place it wouldnt have happened

Ah just keeps getting better Grin

polarpig · 10/04/2019 16:45

Their child could have cold sores or some infection too. A parent shouldn't let their child take a drink in the soft play if they want to make sure it doesn't get drunk or spilt or whatever.

Shadow1234 · 10/04/2019 16:45

And who knows how many other children may have picked it up and had a sip before she noticed your child with it! No, YWNBU in my opinion.

Original poster
SoftPlayStandOff · 10/04/2019 16:46

the toddler area is fully fenced and gated from the cafe area - so the child couldn't have wandered and got their drink from a table without an adult letting them out of the section of soft play we were in.

as for 'watch my child' i was alone and my phone didn't come out of my bag the whole time i was there - i expect i was paying more attention to my DC than the ones glued to screens or chatting with their friends.

OP posts:
Friedspamfritters · 10/04/2019 16:47

Of course YANBU. What do you think's going to happen if you leave it on the floor of the play area? What if I just left my expensive sunglasses lying around there? Or a giant bag of haribo? Of course anything left in soft play is considered fair game for toddlers!

Cherrysherbet · 10/04/2019 16:51

YANBU. What a silly woman.
Hope it didn’t spoil your outing, and the kids enjoyed it too 💐

FrangipaniBlue · 10/04/2019 16:51

Exactly what Bluntness said!

If I had been the other mum it would never have entered my head to expect you to replace it, I think she was being cheeky to demand it and on that basis in your shoes I'd have probs my dig my heels in and refused too.

On the other hand, had I been in your shoes I probably would have offered to replace it before she even asked anyway, so you were kind of being a little unreasonable.

Reading the way you've worded your posts and the other mum demanding replacement, it does come across as though you both have a bit of an attitude tbh....

As always in these places the drinks were overpriced. I had budgeted carefully to take my DC, it's not as simple as 'for the sake of a quid'

Yes, the other mum had probably budgeted too ?

precious mum along in a mo, one of those who gets hysterical about people kissing babies in case they break out in cold sores

I don't think something that can potentially be life threatening/altering to a baby is something to be sneered at and this is a dickish comment of the highest order

Original poster
SoftPlayStandOff · 10/04/2019 16:55

frangipane then shouldn't she have been looking after her kids things like i was mine? our unfinished drinks were in my bag out of the way. I know i can't afford to replace things so I take that extra care so I don't have to - such as making them drink at the table with their meal and then putting them away - not letting them wander off with them.

OP posts:
Friedspamfritters · 10/04/2019 16:57

Yes, the other mum had probably budgeted too ?

If she budgeted carefully for a drink she couldn't afford to replace why did she let her child bring it into the soft play and leave it on the floor?

I don't think something that can potentially be life threatening/altering to a baby is something to be sneered at and this is a dickish comment of the highest order

A baby wouldn't be drinking fruit shoot and the drink sharing would have been no worse than all the bugs that would have been exchanged in the soft play anyway.

By all means the other woman should have replaced the drink if she was worried but since her carelessness caused it in the first place OP shouldn't have to pay.

Original poster
SoftPlayStandOff · 10/04/2019 16:57

and i apologised several times. considering it hadn't occured to me to offer a replacement or expect her to ask for one as i wouldn't have been bothered in the same situation i dont see how i am showing an attitude? i apologised.

OP posts:
Friedspamfritters · 10/04/2019 16:58

I don't think something that can potentially be life threatening/altering to a baby is something to be sneered at and this is a dickish comment of the highest order

What if a toddler who was allergic had picked up the fruit shoot this other mum carelessly left lying around? That would be far more life altering than her kid picking up a cold sore or a cold (which they would probably already have been exposed to) from sharing a fruit shoot!

Lyver · 10/04/2019 17:01

I wouldn't have paid for it either.. it's not about the money.. technically it could've been anyone's drink. The parent should've made sure it was kept on the table where it belonged and not in the middle of the soft play floor where it could've been picked up by anyone and did not belong. It's their fault for not taking care of it. You should not have to pay for their mistakes..

FerdinandsMightyTesticles · 10/04/2019 17:01

If my child had taken it off their table while I was facebooking on my phone momentarily not paying attention then yes, I would pay for it.

left in a non-food area for my darling child to find her grubby child's germy bottle? Oh hell to the no.

FrangipaniBlue · 10/04/2019 17:01

As the OP has said herself, she took her eyes off her own for a few seconds to check on the others, perfectly fine, the other mum may have done the same and not even realised her toddler had the drink in the soft play, she may have (incorrectly) assumed the OPs child HAD taken it off her child.....

Sometimes a little love and compassion to fellow mums doesn't go amiss.

As I said in my original post, I think both the OP and the other mum WBU.

WearsABlackAndLongCoatWrong · 10/04/2019 17:05

...good job i named-changed then!! if the biggest thing going on right now that the Fail can find to report on is an abandoned fruit shoot then all must be rosy with the world!! SoftPlayStandOff This is definitely bigger than Brexit!

Personally, this is why I hate softplay places, and always have:
YADNBU the whole point of the soft play area is that you can leave your toddler without keeping your eyes on them every second. As long as they're not hitting/kicking/snatching anything goes.

I 100% disagree with this statement and NEVER ONCE did I leave my toddler without keeping my eyes on her. In fact, I didn't leave her without keeping my eyes on her once she got bigger. When she was much older (around 10 ish) and we went to that type of place, I may not have been actually stood next to her, but I ALWAYS kept her in my eyeline and kept an eye on her.
THIS is why in this situation I think the OP is not in any way being U as I think the other adults were responsible for supervising the children in their care.

Disneymum1993 · 10/04/2019 17:06

I would certainly not replace it as it should not have been discarded in the middle of the floor and your ds is only 4 not like hes older and done it on purpose

Tucobenedicto · 10/04/2019 17:06

Good on you for not replacing it...a wipe with a baby wipe would have done just fine..guarantee you if it was there dad there instead of you they wouldn't have came near...

Original poster
SoftPlayStandOff · 10/04/2019 17:07

wearsablack and both sides seem to be as likely to compromise as brexit too!

OP posts:
PineapplePatty · 10/04/2019 17:10

I would have replaced it, wouldn't have needed to be asked tbh.

Mummadeeze · 10/04/2019 17:14

I am a bit of a germaphobe so wouldn’t have bought my child a new drink if another child had drunk it by mistake. I wouldn’t have asked for that child’s mum to pay for it though. But if someone asked me to replace, to avoid an argument, I probably would have agreed. Sounds like a bit of an unnecessary drama tbh.

Littlechocola · 10/04/2019 17:14

Both unreasonable for allowing fruit shoots Wink

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