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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was IBU to not replace this drink?

422 replies

SoftPlayStandOff · 10/04/2019 15:25

Soft play centre. Large one with different areas for different age groups.

I'm sat in the corner of the pre-schooler area - DS2 (4) and DS3 (2) are around and about playing. I stand up and look the opposite way to check on DS1 (7) and DD1 (10) who are elsewhere in the older kids section. When I turn around DS2 has a fruit shoot in his hand. I tell him to put it down, its not his. He does so and I think no more of it.

A couple of minutes later a woman comes up and tells me DS2 has drunk out of her child's drink. I apologise, say that i didn't see him drink it but I'd asked him to put it down when I saw he had it. She went away.

I speak to DS2 and he says DS3 handed it to him so he thought it was DS3's so had a mouthful. DS3 had picked it up from the middle of the floor in the middle of the soft play.

A couple of minutes later the woman's friend comes and asks if i'm replacing the drink. I laugh thinking she's joking and explain that I was sorry but it had been left in the middle of the floor and my toddler picked it up and gave it to his brother. She says again - 'well XXX can't drink it now its had his lips on it, are you going to by another?' I apologised again and suggested that surely a wipe with a baby wipe would be fine? She looks incredulous and says something about germs. I point out that its softplay - germs are everywhere and no, i was not replacing a drink that had been left in the middle of the room that my child had inadvertently taken a sip of.

Had this been a reverse I would have just wiped the bottle and let my kid get on with their drink. If i was the sort to be concerned by germs i would have not been at softplay or at the very least i would have kept my kids bottles by me (as I had done with my own kids bottles).

They proceed to bitch about it loudly until I left.

SO WIBU to not replace the drink in these circumstances?

OP posts:
HarrysOwl · 10/04/2019 22:11

Or maybe it was just a fucking fruit shoot in a soft play area.

This is going in my bank of favourite lines! Grin

This thread is literally the best of Mumsnet.

BlackeyedGruesome · 10/04/2019 22:15

Yanbu. Agree with previous posters who say if it had been on the table it would be different, but abandoned on the floor where it shouldn't have been... Not a chance

HarrysOwl · 10/04/2019 22:16

You can only expect others to treat your property with respect if you treat it with respect in the first place

Please, for the love of God, respect your Fruitshoots. They won't respect themselves.

Lalliella · 10/04/2019 22:26

Haven’t RTFT so might be repeating what others have said but there’s no way you should’ve replaced it. Abandoned in the middle of soft play, of course another child is going to pick it up. She and friend are CFs. Also she IBU for giving her child a fruit shoot, they’re full of crap. You should have said to her in a condescending manner that of course you will replace the drink but you can’t bring yourself to supply a child with something so unhealthy so you’ve got them a cup of water!

TheDarkPassenger · 10/04/2019 22:36

This was a decent thread!

Op, just out of curiosity, you say you budgeted to a penny but would have paid if he’s taken it off a table? How does that work?

I personally would have paid for it but I appreciate we’re from totally different walks of life.

Pungifries · 10/04/2019 22:40

Yanbu
If they wanted their child in a sterile environment they should not be at a play centre and look after their drinks.
Does she know what goes on at nursery/ school?!

TORDEVAN · 10/04/2019 22:44

Haven't rtft but I think YANBU. For all they know half of soft play had a sip when it was in the middle of the floor and they weren't looking.

My toddler would have been on a fruit shoot in the middle of the floor like lightning. They should have known what to expect by letting it be taken in there.

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 10/04/2019 22:49

I think it was really sweet of your little one to offer it to his big brother, that's what I think. You have a lovely non-grabby child there.

Warpdrive · 10/04/2019 22:54

@gamerchick yes darling obvs TIC 😉

thebeesknees123 · 10/04/2019 22:56

No. She shouldn't have left it lying around

gamerchick · 10/04/2019 23:02

gamerchick yes darling obvs TIC 😉

Bloody well done man, bravo. carry on Grin

gamerchick · 10/04/2019 23:03

Please, for the love of God, respect your Fruitshoots. They won't respect themselves

Grin
Order654 · 10/04/2019 23:13

@gamerchick - plenty of times Iv ran out of milk before payday. I just go to the shops and buy some more.

viques · 10/04/2019 23:20

Ive never bought a fruit shoot. Am I right to assume from this thread that they are really really expensive so that replacing one out of the desire for a nicer kinder world would involve taking out a second mortgage.....

Grin
IrregularCommentary · 10/04/2019 23:21

Nah, no way would I have replaced that. Shouldn't have been in the play area in the first place and it was probably the cleanest thing in the soft play so not sure why the angst about germs.

As has been said, if it had been taken off a table or something in the appropriate area, I'd have replaced.

gamerchick · 10/04/2019 23:25

gamerchick - plenty of times Iv ran out of milk before payday. I just go to the shops and buy some more

With no money? Is it hard for you to comprehend that people can run out of money completely before payday so can't simply go and buy more.

Or are you a sterling shoplifter who can fit a fourpint up the clunge?

SosigDog · 10/04/2019 23:27

Imo you should have replaced it. Your kid drank another kid’s drink. The other mum is totally correct not to let her child finish it because your child could have any number of diseases. And imo you need to teach your own child not to put his mouth on anything another person might have touched, it’s gross and he’ll end up with herpes or something.

m0therofdragons · 10/04/2019 23:30

I'd have replaced it if my child drank from it. It would be my fault as I should have been watching closer. I wouldn't have waited to be asked though, I would have immediately offered. You have no idea how much of the drink your dc actually drank so I'd suck it up. Our soft play doesn't have tables so drinks are always on the floor.

ToeSocks · 10/04/2019 23:30

This reply has been deleted

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gamerchick · 10/04/2019 23:32

I know herpes or . That something sounds very sinister.

Goldenbear · 10/04/2019 23:37

I would have offered to replace it but if I was the fruit shoot Mum I would not have bothered asking you to replace it as a) it is petty and b) toddlers should not be drinking fruit shoots.

I don't agree with the thinking that things lieing about are anyone's for the taking. The seafront playground where I live has lots of toys, sunglasses, teddy bears, scooters etc essentially lieing about but I don't encourage my children to think that they can have what they like. My DD used to always take a treasured stuffed toy around with her until she was about 4, it was quite expensive and given to her as a baby, I am sure she left it on the floor sometimes in sandpits at playground s etc. I don't recall anybody thinking they could just keep it as they'd picked it up.

GregoryPeckingDuck · 10/04/2019 23:38

Well the suggestion to just wipe it clean is gross. Don’t you know the that’s how meningitis is spread? Then there’s also the cultural element of course. If this happened to a New Zealander for example it would seem much more gross. But I don’t think YWBU to not replace it. In your place I probably couldn’t have resisted the urge to wind them up a bit by giving them a lecture about creating a health hazard.

Goldenbear · 10/04/2019 23:39

Oops sorry lying not 'lieing'.

SosigDog · 10/04/2019 23:48

I know herpes or . That something sounds very sinister

I shouldn’t have to waste my time listing all the diseases you can catch from saliva. You should know this stuff. Cold. Flu. Meningitis. Chicken pox. Herpes. Epstein-Barr. Hand foot and mouth. Strep. Cytomegalovirus. Etc etc. Nobody with any common sense drinks out of the same bottle as someone else. It’s an important hygiene skill to teach children.

GregoryPeckingDuck · 10/04/2019 23:51

@ToeSocks she meant herpes as in cold sores.