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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was IBU to not replace this drink?

422 replies

SoftPlayStandOff · 10/04/2019 15:25

Soft play centre. Large one with different areas for different age groups.

I'm sat in the corner of the pre-schooler area - DS2 (4) and DS3 (2) are around and about playing. I stand up and look the opposite way to check on DS1 (7) and DD1 (10) who are elsewhere in the older kids section. When I turn around DS2 has a fruit shoot in his hand. I tell him to put it down, its not his. He does so and I think no more of it.

A couple of minutes later a woman comes up and tells me DS2 has drunk out of her child's drink. I apologise, say that i didn't see him drink it but I'd asked him to put it down when I saw he had it. She went away.

I speak to DS2 and he says DS3 handed it to him so he thought it was DS3's so had a mouthful. DS3 had picked it up from the middle of the floor in the middle of the soft play.

A couple of minutes later the woman's friend comes and asks if i'm replacing the drink. I laugh thinking she's joking and explain that I was sorry but it had been left in the middle of the floor and my toddler picked it up and gave it to his brother. She says again - 'well XXX can't drink it now its had his lips on it, are you going to by another?' I apologised again and suggested that surely a wipe with a baby wipe would be fine? She looks incredulous and says something about germs. I point out that its softplay - germs are everywhere and no, i was not replacing a drink that had been left in the middle of the room that my child had inadvertently taken a sip of.

Had this been a reverse I would have just wiped the bottle and let my kid get on with their drink. If i was the sort to be concerned by germs i would have not been at softplay or at the very least i would have kept my kids bottles by me (as I had done with my own kids bottles).

They proceed to bitch about it loudly until I left.

SO WIBU to not replace the drink in these circumstances?

OP posts:
Lamkin · 10/04/2019 23:58

*Or are you a sterling shoplifter who can fit a fourpint up the clunge?
*
GrinGrinGrin I wonder how many Fruit Shoots make up a four pinter.

Gillian1980 · 11/04/2019 00:03

I would have offered to replace it without being asked.

However, if someone’s kid had done it with my daughters drink and offered to replace I’d thank them but decline and shrug it off.

MonicaGB · 11/04/2019 00:09

OMG there are some real sanctimonious types on here today. You were right in your judgement, they shouldn't have left it in the middle of the floor if they didn't want to lose it in some way. If a kid had stood on it, would they have expected it to be paid for? It was essentially abandoned at this point, belonging to noone.

As for the people who think a pound is nothing, well aren't you a delight.

Amibeingnaive · 11/04/2019 00:29

YANBU - if it was abandoned on the floor I don't think the other parent can really lay claim to it.

This being said, I'd probably have just bought another one for an easy life and spoken to my children about the importance of not swigging from random bottles. The latter point has value because, in another situation, that kid friendly bottle might have some sort of cleaning fluid in it. There was a well-documented case a while ago where a young child narrowly escaped death after drinking drain cleaner from a water bottle. Worth having that conversation.

AppleApplePie · 11/04/2019 00:34

The logic of most people on this thread is “finders keepers”. Your child ruined someone else’s drink, so you should have replaced it.

FangsTasticBeast · 11/04/2019 00:37

I wouldn’t replace it and if it was reversed I wouldn’t expect someone else to. Saying that I don’t let them take drinks/food into the soft play area

Rottencooking · 11/04/2019 00:42

Yanbu they didn't drink it all they drank from it.

And cold sores are transmitted via skin to skin contact...

And colds are airborne. I think?

SosigDog · 11/04/2019 00:51

A cold is airborne because you cough and sneeze droplets of saliva into the air. Or you can catch it from saliva on a bottle. And you can catch herpes by drinking out of someone’s bottle too, or even from touching their mouth then touching your own.

It boggles my mind that people don’t know how diseases are transmitted. I bet you don’t see why you need to wash your hands after using the loo either?

Rottencooking · 11/04/2019 00:55

@SosigDog first of all thank for being so fucking undelightfully passive aggressive I'm sure it feels great to be on your high horse of knowledge. I had actually looked up said ways of catching coldsores recently due to having one and skin to skin contact is what came back as the transmission route.

I also know about germs and am fully aware of why I need to wash my hands. I also wipe my own arse, are you shocked?

Dana28 · 11/04/2019 01:04

Leaving it in the wrong place is a separate issue. Your DC shouldn't have drunk from a drink that wasn't his.

MRex · 11/04/2019 01:15

I'd offer to replace it. If someone came demanding it before I could offer then I'd pay but feel disgruntled. I wouldn't take someone up on the offer of a replacement the other way around, it's the kid's fault for leaving it and they would be fine having water anyway. They were being unreasonable for making a public fuss over one kid's drink, but you're unreasonable to just wipe the top (bleurgh).

pantsville · 11/04/2019 04:54

I assume that if another strange adult mistakenly drank from your drink in a bar or something, you'd be happy to carry on drinking it?

Sedona123 · 11/04/2019 09:17

SosigDog is correct about the transmission of coldsores. If you have a coldsore, you are advised to not share anything that touches your mouth with anyone, so towels, flannels, cups etc. If it was just by skin to skin contact, no-one would get them, as you wouldn't kiss someone with a coldsore.

I have regularly had coldsores for over forty years so know all of the don'ts.

Friedspamfritters · 11/04/2019 09:35

applepie no you're being silly. It's not finders keepers it's common sense. You know toddlers are not supervised every second in the soft play so things being left on the floor are likely to get picked up and messed with. If you're stupid enough to leave things on the floor don't be surprised when they're messed with. It would be like leaving a bag of sausages in the dog park then being shocked a dog ran off with them.

If I saw a fruit shoot on the floor of the soft play I'd put it in the bin to stop it getting spilled and if its owner came demanding a replacement I'd refuse.

Friedspamfritters · 11/04/2019 09:39

dana28 you haven't read the thread the kid thought it was his. It was the toddler who picked it up. Op shoukdcbevthe one who was annoyed that this woman potentially infected her kid with her kids germs.

Most people are infected with the herpes virus anyway so it really makes no difference. If you are precious about germs you shouldn't leave your drink on the floor of a toddler play area. Really shouldn't need saying!

LynnTheseAreSexPeople · 11/04/2019 09:42

So applepie if I left my glasses on the floor of a playground and your child stepped on them would you consider it your child's fault for ruining my glasses or my fault for being an idiot and leaving my glasses on the floor?

Rottencooking · 11/04/2019 09:42

as you wouldn't kiss someone with a coldsore.

I mean you shouldn't and often people don't but people do...

PurpleFlower1983 · 11/04/2019 09:44

You should have replaced it.

Hotterthanahotthing · 11/04/2019 09:50

If any of my children had found a drink left in the play area I would have binned it.If they don't want anyone else to interfere with their child's drink the they should ensure that they keep it with them and he stays with them to drink.
YANBU

pantsville · 11/04/2019 15:07

Stepping on discarded glasses would be an accident. Picking up a drink belonging to someone else is not an accident, it didn't whizz down the slide and fall into the child's mouth did it

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 11/04/2019 15:19

No, it didn't whizz down a slide into his mouth. It was handed to him by his little brother.

Having been left lying about unattended where a two-year-old would find it.

Introduced into the child's life because of a careless person who was happy to let drink be carried into an area where food and drink are forbidden (for excellent reasons).

The opening post is at the top of the page....

gamerchick · 11/04/2019 15:23

I shouldn’t have to waste my time listing all the diseases you can catch from saliva. You should know this stuff. Cold. Flu. Meningitis. Chicken pox. Herpes. Epstein-Barr. Hand foot and mouth. Strep. Cytomegalovirus. Etc etc. Nobody with any common sense drinks out of the same bottle a

It’s an important hygiene skill to teach children.

Your kid had that nailed at 2 years old then? How did you manage that? Because we're talking about a 2 yr old picking a drink up here.

gamerchick · 11/04/2019 15:26

gringringrin I wonder how many Fruit Shoots make up a four pinter

Grin
pantsville · 11/04/2019 17:07

It's irrelevant where it was left. You don't just help yourself to someone else's food and drink Hmm or do you?

pantsville · 11/04/2019 17:10

Once my brother lost his car keys in a ball pit at soft play, they fell out of his pocket. If a 2 year old had found them, presumably you all reckon the child was within their rights to take the car for a spin?

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