My partner and I have a 2 yo daughter and I’m currently pregnant with our second. His family have always been an issue in our relationship but recently it’s gotten worse. About 6 months ago his sisters partner got drunk and told us our daughter should be put down. We were out for a family meal and obviously this shocked me and upset me. Daughter had done nothing ‘wrong’ but he didn’t like how she was eating? ..... I spoke with my partner and his parents after this and both felt it was a silly drunken comment that he meant nothing by. I was not really happy with this but let it go. Now i avoided the brother in law until last weekend when at another family lunch he made disgusting comments about a child’s TV character being a Child molesterer, saying the tv character was going to abuse the other characters, again he said this in front of our daughter. My oh told our daughter that her uncle was being a naughty boy and maybe he needed a smack bum. (We don’t smack our daughter never have) Brother in law then responded that he would smack her (daughter) if she ‘dare touches him’. At this point I got up with my child and left with my partner. We spoke about it at home I obviously got upset again and explained this is getting too much and I don’t want to continue to see him especially with our daughter there, he agree and that’s that. The next day my partner comes home from work having spoken to his mum about what happened. His Mum has said She doesn’t understand how what’s been said has upset us and that we’re being silly to be upset. She explains she won’t get involved (which is fine) and my partner then says he thinks he’ll just have a quiet word and that will be the end of it.
Now my issue is, even though there have only been two ‘big’ issues with this brother in law there have been many awful comments and digs for the duration of our relationship. I’ve been called a gold digger, a dumb blonde, too young to be a mum exp... he’s also purposely upset our daughter hiding her toys and throwing soft balls at her to wind her up.. none of what he’s said about me bothers me but with him now targeting my daughter I’ve had enough.
Am I unreasonable to say no more contact with him? Partner thinks yes and so do his parents. I would never stop the rest of the family seeing her or make them pick sides but have basically said if you see them we won’t come but will see seperate if that makes sense. I’ve been bullied my whole life and it’s not something I want for my daughter especially from a family member.