Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

Accused of drinking problem. Aibu?

146 replies

SalemShadow · 08/04/2019 21:56

I am a mum to 3. Work full time alongside dh shifts. I have a senior job working in London which involves quite a few social events over the years. I also have several circles of friends. Anyway there tends to be a fair bit if pictures of me on Facebook and Instagram at cocktail bars, pubs and restaurants over the years- drink in hand etc. Just recently a few people have made comments about my socialising and accusing me of having a drinking problem.. I barely drink at home. I only have a sociable drink on a night out which tends to end up on social media. Last week I won a cash prize and a colleague told me not to drink the proceeds. When I questioned what he meant he said I was an alcoholic (he is teetotal). i said of course not and he said in front of everyone that alcoholics always deny a drinking problem. I just don't know what to do now. I seem to have a party girl image. How do I turn this around. Aibu to be upset?

OP posts:

Vulpine · 09/04/2019 06:32

You don't have a drink problem you have a social media problem

shakenfizzydrink · 09/04/2019 06:35

That was incredibly rude of him. Sounds like people are just jealous that someone with a job and three kids has an active social life. I'd delete them off my social media or put them on a very limited profile.

echt · 09/04/2019 06:39

@echt oh get real What the hell is that comparison about? It's ridiculous

This is not a racist or homophobic comment

Well duh. It doesn't have to be. It's an accusation made in the workplace. Don't laugh it off.

Ce7913 · 09/04/2019 06:40

I meant to say also:

I don't have quite enough contextual info to say conclusively, but there are probably misogynistic undertones, here.

Obviously it depends on context, but:

Award = objective(ish) measure of competence and success. A fairly undeniable marker of merit/superiority in a specific competitive scenario.

This tool's comments sort of reeks of 'taking her down a peg'.

Mummadeeze · 09/04/2019 06:42

V weird comment from him. Just ignore him. No nice person would have asked like that even if they had genuine concerns. I out a few times a month and enjoy cocktails and wine with my friends. I post photos on SM because we are enjoying ourselves. I also post photos of days out with my DD so maybe that balances it a bit. I know I drink too much sometimes when I go out but I am human and amongst my peers at work it is the norm. I also work hard and go to the gym. If someone said something like that to me I would just put them in their place and not think about it anymore.

Monty27 · 09/04/2019 06:49

Well duh @echt if the cap fits.... But if in fun..... Duh

Calledyoulastnightfromglasgow · 09/04/2019 06:51

He is rude!

Everyone knows that social media is just nonsense.

I have lots of pictures of me with my dogs. He maybe would think I’m into bestiality?!

Aria999 · 09/04/2019 07:08

YANBU. If you actually did have a drink problem that would be an incredibly insensitive thing to say. For all he knows, you're in AA.

As you don't, it's just inaccurate and rude.

StarlightIntheNight · 09/04/2019 07:12

I think the main question should be how often are you going out and having drinks? Some people can say I don't have a drink problem I don't drink at home, but then go out drinking 5 nights a week. Or even if its only 3 nights, but drink LOADS in those three nights. How many nights a week on average do you go out and how many drinks do you have?

echt · 09/04/2019 07:14

Well duh @echt if the cap fits.... But if in fun..... Duh

Articulate your point, why don't you? Complete sentences would help.

TheBigFatMermaid · 09/04/2019 07:14

So, two young occasions per month with drink? What you need to do is balance it out with posts of you drinking tea, coffee and obviously soft drinks.

kateandme · 09/04/2019 07:42

if you did have a problem then what a horrible thing to do anyway! its afucking serious and awful problem.and they should be concerned and empathetic and perhaps trying to help not shaming you

BiscuitDrama · 09/04/2019 07:49

I think some people are missing that it’s not just one person commenting - Just recently a few people have made comments about my socialising and accusing me of having a drinking problem

So my question above was do these people all know each other, and have witnessed a couple of instances of drinking out of the ordinary maybe, or alternatively has someone they all know said something (whether true or not).
I have to say, I’d want to work out why ‘a few’ people had said something.

swingofthings · 09/04/2019 07:58

Whether you drink too much is not something that can be assessed on the basis of what you post on social media so I don't understand why you are focusing on this.

Whether you drink too much is a matter of how many units you consume a week and/or how often you binge.

Being able to stop, or really thinking you could as is the case, is also not a déterminent of whether or not you drink too much.

So really, in all honesty to yourself, how much do you drink a week. If within the recommended levels, who cares what other think/say.

GPatz · 09/04/2019 08:06

The hypocrisy of those calling the OP defensive whilst being defensive over the term couch potato!

pelirocco123 · 09/04/2019 08:10

My social media posts are full of me going on holidays and tend to involve pictures of drink ......and that's because it's the only time I post anything on FB , not because I am always away and drinking .I suspect it's the same for the OP . Maybe OP you should start posting pics of kittens , clickbait quizzes, and are you alright hun messages just to dilute your real life .
OP remember that people can and will post anything to get a reaction , on another day , another thread they will post the opposite to what they say here

LetsDialDownTheIanPaisley · 09/04/2019 08:16

People are jealous

fc301 · 09/04/2019 08:32

How many units do you consume?

Why don't you want to answer this question??

TangyToms · 09/04/2019 08:37

Is that a couch potato with a cup of tea or a glass of wine...

GreytExpectations · 09/04/2019 08:41

OP, you seem to be skirting around everyone asking how much you actually do drink. You have said you go out twice a month but then have lunch out with free drinks (but you dont drink these?). At no point have you clarified how much you are actually drinking, in units, on these occasions. Out 2 times a month and only having 2/3 drinks each time is one thing but then going out twice a month and getting shitfaced each time is another. I'm guessing it may be the latter which is why you are getting those comments but if not then yes, they are being judgmental. However, you aren't making yourself look good by avoiding answering how much you actually drink on here.

Your comments are quite defensive and mean spirited to say those who enjoy saying home are jealous of you....

OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 09/04/2019 08:53

I wouldn't take a blind bit of notice of what the teetotaller says, for a start.
Their 'line in the sand' as to what's acceptable is going to be in a very different place from most people's, and if they don't drink because they're possibly alcoholics themselves then perhaps it might give them some sort of thrill to know that someone else could be in the same boat.

lifebegins50 · 09/04/2019 08:54

Just recently a few people have made comments about my socialising and accusing me of having a drinking problem

If it was one person then I think you could ignore but as it's a few then perhaps you need to take some action as it has concerned you You choose what you do as you are an adult.
Being defensive won't change their perception which is what you want to happen, only your action will.

Lordamighty · 09/04/2019 08:55

Some of the posters on here are worse than your colleague.
I would follow this up with him & tell him that if he repeats his outrageous allegation again you will report him to HR.
Then tighten up your social media.

Justkeeprollingalong · 09/04/2019 09:05

Exactly what @Lordamighty said.

GeorgeTheFirst · 09/04/2019 09:08

You're one of those people who puts photos on FB every time you go out, aren't you, to make people think you have a party lifestyle and make sure no one thinks you are boring. This is what happens.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Swipe left for the next trending thread