AIBU to RSVP No to my DF's wedding reception

[AnythingButChardonnayDahling]

My DF is getting married to his long term partner, mum to my half brother. It's great, but I just opened my invite and I'm only invited to the reception, not the ceremony. My half brother will be at the ceremony.

My parents split when I was young. My DF has 5 children, only the son he shares with his partner will be at the ceremony. I get on brilliantly with DF's partner, however I've never seen her as a step mum and she doesn't consider us step children. We were grown when they met.

I guess this is a WWYD? Part of me thinks it's their day their choice, but it's a bit of a slap in the face. He's making the hierarchy of his children quite clear. I don't know what I'd achieve by not going. What would you do?

I don't think this is particularly offensive, it's obviously a tiny ceremony and he is their only shared child.

Are you/your siblings married/with children?
If so then isn’t it a choice between a tiny wedding with their shared child versus a large wedding with DC, partners. DGC etc? It’s not as if they're Just leaving you out - it may simply be the practicalities of accommodating 1 person vs 30+ people and that’s a big difference

Your post has shown the very best side of AIBU - you’ve asked the question and received various answers which have all helped you sort out your thoughts and feelings. Sometimes it’s difficult to sift through all our emotions to look at things objectively, no matter how sensible we are usually, and come up with the best solution without involving others who would be affected.
You seem very reasonable to me which is the best starting point and so wise not to involve your siblings before considering all the options.
Yes, be the bigger person and accept the invitation and join in to celebrate their happiness, which ultimately is all a wedding reception should be about. Hope you and your siblings have a great time. And especially hope you enjoy updating your Mum, hopefully while enjoying even more cake!

Have you spoken to your DF yet, OP?