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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

New neighbour told out to shut up in a unfriendly manner!

374 replies

JK2012 · 08/04/2019 18:44

Hi, so we have new people behind us. Our gardens are quite long but back onto each other. I haven’t seen much of them yet. They don’t seem to be home much and I don’t like talking over the fence.

Today, we were out for a couple hours and came home. I let our dog out as I always do, she’s a Jack Russell, she can be pretty yappy at times (mainly when she sees people rather than dogs) but she’s never let out too early or too late so doesn’t disturb the neighbours and she’s never left outside barking for long. If she barks we call her in. There are dogs in most houses around here. She ran straight up to the back fence which I thought was odd and started barking - new neighbor and his dog doing something at the back of their garden by the looks of i at first glance. I couldn’t see them very well behind the tall fence and behind the trampoline so he probably couldn’t see me by my back door. Anyway, my dog starts to bark (she wouldn’t hurt a fly, just a bit annoying at times but his dog didn’t bark back). I put my shoes back on to call her over but I heard the new neighbour telling my dog to shut the f**k up just as I was about to call her. I called her back and neighbour must of realised I was there and heard him. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t talking to his dog as the dog hadn’t reacted (it’s geeat he has such a well behaved dog).

Now, I’m not easily offended, far from it. I didn’t think much of it at the time as I was busy but now I’ve come to think of it’s rid quite rude.

Yes my dog can bark at times but she’s never left out to bark. She doesn’t go out early, or too late and she doesn’t bark indoors or anything. Just around new people as she’s more nervous of people than dogs. If it was just the dog she would of been fine!

Aibu to think he was being rude? I’m not the type of person to ever bring this up with them but I’m worried what they will think of us. Often in the summer, the dog and D.C. run around the garden having fun. They will probably hate us 😂

OP posts:
Ticklingcheese · 08/04/2019 20:51

Where we used to live, the neighbors in the bottom of the garden had two tiny (put in your wallet) dogs, when out they yippidi di yapped excessively.
What was worse was the owners calling them in much the same way as the yippidies -very high pitched BABYYY, HONEEEY.
Don't know which was worst 😂
Recent neighbors had Jrs, very barky, neighbor and I both told them to shut up 😁.

FluffyBumps · 08/04/2019 20:51

No i havnt assumed you leave your dog barking for hours.

It sounds like my neighbours yap rat. Barks randomly. But a few seconds a few times a day most days = fucking annoying.

Jack Russell's make horrid noises. I'd rather have a deep louder bark than yap yap yap. It's a very unpleasant noise.

Victoria198 · 08/04/2019 20:51

My neighbours dog barks and it drives me mad. Admittedly morning, noon and night. I’d probably react the same way.

Londongirl888 · 08/04/2019 20:54

OP you are not hearing what people are saying. If your dog is nervous maybe hire a dog whisperer / psychologist to help train her. You sound annoyed that people don't agree with you and if there are other noisy dogs nearby maybe yours is the last straw. Your neighbour is starting as he means to go on and clearly doesn't want to hear barking dogs even if they would not hurt a fly.

ooItsAoBeautifulDayNow · 08/04/2019 20:56

Maybe he had a shit day and this was just the last thing he needed so he said it out loud instead of in his head.

I can't imagine getting worked up about this, it's a bit like being stuck next to a crying baby on a plane - I don't dislike the baby or judge the parent but it's still shit! I say cut him some slack.

IchWill · 08/04/2019 20:57

Hey OP, sorry some folk are giving you a hard time.

I have two dogs, one of them isn't a dog that incessantly barks, but does like to have a couple of barks if she hears or sees something.

Like you, we've a lot of pet dogs in the neighbourhood and if one dog starts it normally sets off a chain reaction.

One set of neighbours mentioned the barking dogs in the street annoyed them. Especially in the evening.

So I bought this collar. It's humane, it just bleeps and vibrates to distract the dog when she barks. I don't use it all the time, just early morning and late evening. It does work and neighbours even noticed.

A dog should be able to 'be a dog: and that includes barking. But I have to be considerate towards my neighbours and this is a great compromise.

Maybe it might work for your pup, to keep the peace. Oh and your neighbour WAS rude and it was uncalled for, especially with kids around.
www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B073GCKBZM/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_yx6QCbY3D8STZ?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

userxx · 08/04/2019 20:59

Please don't put one of those collars on him. Just tell your neighbour to fuck off or move.

ooItsAoBeautifulDayNow · 08/04/2019 20:59

Also why did you ask if you were being unreasonable if you don't think at all you possibly could be?

You're 99% sure your dog doesn't bark when you're out.

Mumsnet seems 99% sure you are being unreasonable to get worked up about this situation!

JK2012 · 08/04/2019 21:00

She doesn’t bark every time she goes out in the garden. Quite often I let her out to do her business and she just chills and has a run around.. Other times there are people outside. I can’t predict when she is going to bark or not 😂

She got attacked by a neighbours dog who dug it’s way into our garden which was really bizarre as it was a massive dog who managed to dig and squeeze in the gap yet she’s never tried it herself - thankfully. So she’s a little nervous now.

I wasn’t gonna leave her outside to bark for ages... she stopped barking as soon as I called her over and that was that. I shut her in but left DS out their bouncing on the trampoline so maybe he will tell my son to shut the duck up for bouncing on a trampoline?? Lol

OP posts:
SleepingSloth · 08/04/2019 21:00

ILoveMaxiBondi

Look up alternative meanings of the word crazy. Nothing to do with mental health in this case as I'm sure you know but take offence if you want to, which you do.

A dog barking for 20 seconds wouldn't be an issue for anyone I know. We have one neighbours dog that sings along to the ice cream mans jingle twice a day at the moment. Dogs bark sometimes. OP deals with her dog when it barks.

Mumsnet parallel universe again.

JK2012 · 08/04/2019 21:01

Thank you. I have been looking at the collars to help with the barking on Amazon. They seem to have food reviews but I am worried about using one. 😬

OP posts:
JK2012 · 08/04/2019 21:02

Good

OP posts:
echt · 08/04/2019 21:02

The OP has said it was unlikely the neighbour had seen her.

Seemingly the same for the child, who only appeared on page 3 of the thread, after the OP had been told resoundingly she was not being reasonable.

The NDN was taking to the dog, not her or her child.

echt · 08/04/2019 21:03

Talking.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 08/04/2019 21:03

Quite often I let her out to do her business and she just chills and has a run around.. Other times there are people outside. I can’t predict when she is going to bark or not 😂

Well you’ve just said she barks when people are out so yes you can predict when she’s will bark! Go out with her.

Look up alternative meanings of the word crazy. Nothing to do with mental health in this case

So what did you mean by it?

user68901 · 08/04/2019 21:05

I tell my own dog to shut the f* up !!

SomeLikeItTepid · 08/04/2019 21:05

OP if your swearing neighbour has yapping/barking dogs on either side, or even just one side of their house, your dog's barking may have just been the final straw on that occasion. Yes, barking dogs in gardens are incredibly annoying but you don't sound completely irresponsible. You hear your dog barking and you bring her in. You could possibly do more in the future to make sure yourself, your dog, and your neighbours can all spend time in their gardens without anyone having to worry about noise, but overall you're not the worst bloody dog owner out there by a long stretch.

Raspberry88 · 08/04/2019 21:06

Quite often I let her out to do her business and she just chills and has a run around.. Other times there are people outside. I can’t predict when she is going to bark or not 😂

Argh!!!! Clearly you can predict OP as you have said she barks when people are around. Can you genuinely not see what the issue is there. Your neighbour doesn't want to be barked at and no bloody wonder.

IchWill · 08/04/2019 21:06

@JK2012 The collar becomes a learned behaviour and the dog barks less without it on if that helps. As I say it just buzzes for a few seconds and bleeps. It's a distraction technique.

Raspberry88 · 08/04/2019 21:07

Look up alternative meanings of the word crazy. Nothing to do with mental health in this case

I think you're going to have to elaborate here...

PrimalLass · 08/04/2019 21:08

She barked for about 20 seconds before I called her over to come in!

19 seconds too long.

Wolfiefan · 08/04/2019 21:09

He might tell your child to STFU if they bark noisily.
Those collars are unnecessary and unkind. Especially on a nervous dog.

Slicedpineapple · 08/04/2019 21:10

Please please please do not use a shock collar, cintronella collar, vibrating collar, etc. They work by causing the dog some sort of uncomfortable sensation or fright when they see a trigger. The trigger to them is whatever makes them bark. We as humans understand that this has happened because they barked. They see it as 'every time I see a person/dog/car (whatever makes them bark) something happens that I don't like which is uncomfortable and gives me a fright'. This deepens any negative feeling and in the end will result in further barking and then in a lot of cases genuine aggression due to a developed fear.

Aversive training collars are very discouraged in the UK, barking can reallt easily be trained out of a dog with positive reinforcement.

JK2012 · 08/04/2019 21:10

I didn’t know he was at the back of his garden when I let her out. The garden is kinda long. We have a trampoline and a bush and I didn’t see him at first. The fence is pretty high and you can’t see too much. Plus the house has been empty other than the landlord doing it up for a while. I wouldn’t of let her out if I had seen him out there.

OP posts:
thecatsarecrazy · 08/04/2019 21:11

My dads jack Russel is nicknamed fucker. He is always barking and gets told to stfu regularly