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AIBU?

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Original poster

My sister is faking her pregnancy.

477 replies

Norrisskipjack · 08/04/2019 17:57

Trigger warning in advance I’ll need to speak about baby loss to give context on this one.

I have 2 sisters: A and B.

3 months ago, B’s beautiful little girl Matilda was stillborn at 38 weeks. About 2 weeks after, our sister A announced she was 6 weeks pregnant and for the whole family, it was a very bitter sweet time as you can imagine.

The announcement was a shock for 2 reasons: A is in a bisexual but in a gay relationship and her and her girlfriend have been together a couple of years. Her girlfriend is adamant and always has been that she doesn’t want children.

B was bloody heroic throughout and managed to react excitedly on our WhatsApp when A talked about baby stuff and supported her when A was complaining how bad morning sickness was etc.

A was spectacularly tactless to the point that in the end I called A and explained while I knew how excited she was, she needed to tone it down in the group chat and maybe just message me without B in the chat if there’s things she’s excited about since A would be hurting despite putting on a really brave face.

A went ballistic at me and accused me of jealousy Hmm then stopped talking to me but continued to message B with giddy excited pregnancy chat Sad

None of us live near each other but we meet up fairly regularly normally. A hasn’t come to any of our meet ups since announcing the pregnancy because she says she doesn’t want to be around me and doesn’t want ‘her bump’ to upset B. Fair enough.

Anyway fast forward to now: I ran in to A’s girlfriend completely by chance on Saturday at an event and did the usual big hello hugs and fuss. I mentioned in passing how excited she must be for the impending arrival and how A must be getting quite big now, but she had NO IDEA what I was talking about.

I don’t know why, but I’d suspected something wasn’t quite right by what A had said before she blocked me so GF’s confusion kind of just confirmed what I already knew. I told GF that A had told us she was pregnant and GF confirmed this was catagorically not true. They live together so I can’t imagine she’d not know.

Anyway, 2 days later A unblocked me and had a WhatsApp rant about me ‘sticking my nose in’. Meanwhile I’d told B what had happened and she confirmed she also suspected the pregnancy wasn’t real.

I haven’t yet responded to the Facebook rant and A during her rant hasn’t confirmed or denied that the pregnancy is fake.

I want to cut her off and not respond but B is keen to understand exactly what’s gone on and why. We haven’t fallen out over it, but we’ve had major disagreements on how to proceed.

WIBU to just cut off A and not engage with the crazy and encourage my sister to do the same, or should we be trying to u defat and what’s actually going on?

I’m 100% sure there is no pregnancy.

OP posts:
icelollycraving · 09/04/2019 18:58

Jesus. Perhaps the result has made your sister realise she cannot continue with the drama. Probably not. Some people invite it.
Sorry for the loss of Matilda Flowers

MrSsMrs · 09/04/2019 18:58

What an amazing sister you are and you have an amazing family. I hope she will come clean to you about what the truth really is and "hopefully" it at least started with truth. I do hope B is ok and sending Flowers for the loss of Matilda

Middersweekly · 09/04/2019 19:01

I think it’s obvious she was never pregnant and was caught out with her lies. What she did was disgusting to be honest! She’s not only lost the respect of her family but also her relationship! She’s acted like a complete child! Maybe this will give her the wake up call she needs to sort her life out!

Mummyto2munchkins · 09/04/2019 19:03

So sorry for B!

I've had a miscarriage myself, resulting in an ambulance being called as I had lost a lot of blood. Ambulance took me in and I was admitted for 2 days. NBM for the first 24 hours as I was nearly rushed to theatre because of it.

Sister A sounds a bit batshit! Hope everyone's OK though.

Raynasmum2015 · 09/04/2019 19:03

First of all condolences to B and the rest of your family. Secondly, who does this?? I remember girls in school who used to fake pregnancies for attention and one particular girl did this all the time and the time when she actually was pregnant, at the end of Year 11 nobody believed her as she'd cried woolf so many times nobody paid attention to her any more. I'd tell your parents and give her a wide berth from now on.

nuxe1984 · 09/04/2019 19:03

Whilst my initial reaction is one of shock as I can only imagine how your poor sister B felt, this behaviour isn't normal and it's possible that A needs some sort of help. Mind you, she's unlikely to accept that.
Is your mum still on the scene? Can she have a chat with her or maybe somebody else in the family who's one step removed from the situation?
Think what I'd do for now is not block her but maybe mute and not respond to any of the baby talk. Steer the chats towards work and other unrelated stuff.

Sice · 09/04/2019 19:05

I would wait and see .a person can't get away with lying eventually the truth always catches up .Strange Hmm

JaneEyre07 · 09/04/2019 19:07

In honesty, I think your Mum needs to get A to her GP asap, and tell them this whole sorry story. She either needs help or she needs a kick up the arse for doing something so bloody cruel to her sister who has already had enough pain.

Or perhaps a bit of both.................

BlackPrism · 09/04/2019 19:08

@MilkTwoSugarsThanks with all due respect, I'm 23 and the baby of the family... I don't make up pregnancies after my sisters stillborn because despite being 'barely into adulthood' I'm not a psycho.

Young people aren't horrifically cruel because they are young, that excuse doesn't hold up to scrutiny.

I'd also be wary that she'll wait for her period and then invite mum round to 'prove' a miscarriage.

Raynasmum2015 · 09/04/2019 19:09

Actually - considering everything else you've mentioned - is A even gay? Could she be faking that too because of your brother?

adulthumanwolf · 09/04/2019 19:11

Will your mum even have her back in the house after this?

Tinkerbell1980 · 09/04/2019 19:12

A is clearly a totally heartless, callous, self-centred bitch.
Flowers for you for being so supportive to B
Flowers for B for being such an exceptional human
Flowers for Matilda of whom you speak often xxxx

InspectorClouseauMNdivision · 09/04/2019 19:19

There needs to be consequences for her behaviour.
It's nice to forgive, but unless there is a serious consequence, she will just keep the drama up. I think this is a perfect opportunity to stop it once and for all.

LouH1981 · 09/04/2019 19:20

First of all, what a bloody angel sister A is putting on such a brave face after such a tragic loss. Having had a m/c last year and having watch DSIL get pregnant at the same time and have a baby the same age as mine would have been, I know how incredibly hard and upsetting that must have been for her.
So do you think she has MH issues? Or was she for some random/sick reason jealous? Does she often do things like this?
You know her best, it is incredibly awful that she has done this if it is fake. If you think you she isn’t vulnerable and you need time to calm down then put her on mute definitely. As other posters have said it’s up to your other sister what she wants to do but just continue to support her.
There is definitely a conversation to be had at sometime though.
I’m so sorry for your sister xxxx

MomoaTattoo · 09/04/2019 19:20

Some people are not mentally ill, they are just arseholes.

DH told me years ago that BIL's family begged him years ago to leave SIL, long before they were married and been dating for about a year or so, so they saw the what she was like back then. They've been married for about 15 years now and have a child, so he didn't listen. She treats him like shit though, always has.

ElektraUnchained · 09/04/2019 19:22

I unfortunately know someone who I would be unsurprised if I heard she did this. She is very insecure and lies to make herself seem interesting.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 09/04/2019 19:23

@BlackPrism - I'm the baby of the family too, of course not everyone who is the baby of a family is going to be as extreme as the OP's sister! I'm not sure why you think that's what I was implying. I was only suggesting that it could be a contributory factor in A's behaviour. Family dynamics are complicated at the best of times.

Giddyuppp · 09/04/2019 19:24

is A even gay? Could she be faking that too because of your brother?

I hate to say it but this crossed my mind earlier. You said she likes to be different and doesn't like how normal she thinks you are so this may be another of her ways to get attention. I didn't think she could actually be pregnant but if she isn't gay then maybe she is straight? Who knows.

Regardless of the truth, what I do know for sure is that you and B are amazing sisters and that ultimately this saga should not overshaddow your thoughts of Matilda, she and B are the priorities in this.

MissChananderlerbong · 09/04/2019 19:26

Your sister is bloody horrible for doing this now when you're all trying to come to terms with your grief, especially your poor sister on her loss.

Mental illness does not prevent people taking responsibility... hence why mentally ill people still get tried and go to prison.

Being totally insane (psychosis for example), whilst committing the crime is another story.

Most of us have suffered mental ill health at some point in our lives. It's no excuse for behaving like a heartless twat.

ConcealDontFeeI · 09/04/2019 19:27

What a lovely family you all sound, especially your sister. Thanks for her.

Quokkachops · 09/04/2019 19:28

Your sister B is a much better person than me because if A is lying, that’s unforgivable and I’d have nothing to do with her moving forward. I agree with OP that she needs to be calledout confronted about this, as nothing adds up whichever way you look at it. I understand she may not want to share info with her siblings but for her gf to not know though? As mentioned previously, A is sporting a baby bump, so unless the gf hasn’t seen her since the duration of her pregnancy bump growing, then it really seems hard to believe?? Not to mention all the other attention seeking things. I’m not surprised that some of the other siblings are tired of A’s behaviour.
I’m sorry for the loss of Matilda and can’t imagine what your sister has/is going through.

BlackPrism · 09/04/2019 19:28

@MilkTwoSugarsThanks you seemed to imply that her being 22 and barely into adulthood was a reason for her behaviour, which was more what I took umbrage to

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 09/04/2019 19:35

I think it's quite sad that you'll never be able to trust or believe what comes out of your sisters mouth.

I'd personally believe that it was completely made up for attention and she was never pregnant. Yes, there is a chance she was which also means she cheated on her partner so either way she doesn't come out of it very well. If that is the case, she also lied about the doctor and everything else. It's a mess.

I hope sister B is okay, this must be really tough on her.

Quokkachops · 09/04/2019 19:35

Sorry I didn’t see your reply. This is such an awful situation and whatever the truth may be, I wish sis B and family all the best. Likewise to you and the rest of your family and hope that sis A gets some form of help as she clearly needs it. Whether that’s medical/bereavement/mental health help

chaosisaladder · 09/04/2019 19:59

Is this real?
Wow