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AIBU?

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Original poster

My sister is faking her pregnancy.

477 replies

Norrisskipjack · 08/04/2019 17:57

Trigger warning in advance I’ll need to speak about baby loss to give context on this one.

I have 2 sisters: A and B.

3 months ago, B’s beautiful little girl Matilda was stillborn at 38 weeks. About 2 weeks after, our sister A announced she was 6 weeks pregnant and for the whole family, it was a very bitter sweet time as you can imagine.

The announcement was a shock for 2 reasons: A is in a bisexual but in a gay relationship and her and her girlfriend have been together a couple of years. Her girlfriend is adamant and always has been that she doesn’t want children.

B was bloody heroic throughout and managed to react excitedly on our WhatsApp when A talked about baby stuff and supported her when A was complaining how bad morning sickness was etc.

A was spectacularly tactless to the point that in the end I called A and explained while I knew how excited she was, she needed to tone it down in the group chat and maybe just message me without B in the chat if there’s things she’s excited about since A would be hurting despite putting on a really brave face.

A went ballistic at me and accused me of jealousy Hmm then stopped talking to me but continued to message B with giddy excited pregnancy chat Sad

None of us live near each other but we meet up fairly regularly normally. A hasn’t come to any of our meet ups since announcing the pregnancy because she says she doesn’t want to be around me and doesn’t want ‘her bump’ to upset B. Fair enough.

Anyway fast forward to now: I ran in to A’s girlfriend completely by chance on Saturday at an event and did the usual big hello hugs and fuss. I mentioned in passing how excited she must be for the impending arrival and how A must be getting quite big now, but she had NO IDEA what I was talking about.

I don’t know why, but I’d suspected something wasn’t quite right by what A had said before she blocked me so GF’s confusion kind of just confirmed what I already knew. I told GF that A had told us she was pregnant and GF confirmed this was catagorically not true. They live together so I can’t imagine she’d not know.

Anyway, 2 days later A unblocked me and had a WhatsApp rant about me ‘sticking my nose in’. Meanwhile I’d told B what had happened and she confirmed she also suspected the pregnancy wasn’t real.

I haven’t yet responded to the Facebook rant and A during her rant hasn’t confirmed or denied that the pregnancy is fake.

I want to cut her off and not respond but B is keen to understand exactly what’s gone on and why. We haven’t fallen out over it, but we’ve had major disagreements on how to proceed.

WIBU to just cut off A and not engage with the crazy and encourage my sister to do the same, or should we be trying to u defat and what’s actually going on?

I’m 100% sure there is no pregnancy.

OP posts:
Original poster
Norrisskipjack · 09/04/2019 15:29

I never thought she’d go this low, no. As I’ve said she’s not really a liar, she’s more just over the top and dramatic iyswim. She likes to feel like she’s ‘different’ to the rest of us, she thinks we’re all terribly boring and conventional Grin

OP posts:
Mememeplease · 09/04/2019 15:30

Surely you can arrange with her to make sure that A is there tonight.

MomoaTattoo · 09/04/2019 15:40

Norrisskipjack

We never thought SIL would go so low either. She was actually pregnant, but faked having been pregnant with twins and then said she had lost one. Other family member was pregnant with actual twins and had ended up in hospital and very nearly lost them. This is when SIL decided she had been pregnant with twins. Her husband had no idea of any twins. She had emailed everyone scans of one baby. We all knew she was lying. Disgusting behaviour.

Tackle it now, before it gets too elaborate.

AppleBru · 09/04/2019 15:40

Hasn't the GF questioned A yet?

UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 09/04/2019 15:52

I’m so sorry for you all. What a situation. I echo PPs’ feelings that you seem like a genuinely lovely family, and I hope you all (mostly...) come through this stronger and more united.

HumptyNumptyNooNoo · 09/04/2019 16:02

Omg. Just RTWT ! What a mess ! Fingers crossed for you all ThanksThanksThanksGin

Original poster
Norrisskipjack · 09/04/2019 16:17

I know GF has spoken to A because of the angry phone call I got about sticking my nose in, but I haven’t spoken to A since the. So I haven’t got a clue what’s gone on between them. I assume they’re still together because DB2 would have told us if her Facebook status had changed (she’s blocked me and she blocked B just after she announced she was pregnant Confused)

OP posts:
headinhands · 09/04/2019 16:23

A very much to be honest. It's very easy to cast someone as the black sheep, but we have to remember how we ourselves contribute to our whole family dynamic.

I'm totally getting that too.

VampirateQueen · 09/04/2019 16:33

Let's hope your mum gets to speak to her tonight.

BlackSatinDancer · 09/04/2019 16:40

I hope A doesn't carry on faking pregnancy and get desperate enough to kidnap a baby.

Original poster
Norrisskipjack · 09/04/2019 16:57

blacksatin WTF?

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 09/04/2019 16:57

What an utterly ridiculous thing to say black

PepsiLola · 09/04/2019 17:03

Too sick to go for tea, but well enough to be out tonight.

Sis isn't a good liar at that!

Oakmaiden · 09/04/2019 17:19

Thing is, it might have started impulsively (rather than as a really cruel plan), and then sister didn't know how to get out of it without either admitting she had lied in the first place or claiming she had had a mc. And she might have realised that that would be a cruel thing to do, but having not thought it through initially has since been just hoping something would happen to sort it all out....

Motoko · 09/04/2019 17:19

Too sick to go for tea, but well enough to be out tonight.

Sis isn't a good liar at that!

No. She could have just said she was going out!

BlackSatinDancer · 09/04/2019 17:31

@Norrisskipjack
black satin WTF

@PurpleDaisies
What an utterly ridiculous thing to say black

What, like that has never happened before outside of the movies? Clearly A has problems and is avoiding meeting up with anyone so they can't see if she is pregnant. I was just pointing out the horrific possibility.

PurpleDaisies · 09/04/2019 17:35

I was just pointing out the horrific possibility.

Come off it. It’s phenomenally rare for that to happen. It was a stupid thing to suggest will happen.

samsamsamsamsamsam · 09/04/2019 17:38

There is a small chance that she is pregnant, at 18w I was really not showing much at all.

I guess I mean to say you should hold your cards to your chest because it sounds like if (by a small chance) she is, then she will begrudge you all forever and you won't hear the end of it.

Let your mum pry it out of her. Your brother will be disgusted, as are you, and it sounds like B is going to forgive her. Dont give B a hard time.

glittermagic · 09/04/2019 17:43

If this is true it is certainly awful for you all. Sounds like she must have serious need for attention. Has she shown signs of narcissistic behaviour before? How thoughtless to treat your other sister like this

Claw01 · 09/04/2019 17:44

Any possibility she could be trying to get pregnant, while faking a pregnancy?

EllenMP · 09/04/2019 17:44

I would make supporting B my first priority and follow her lead on how to deal with A. She is grieving the death of a child and I would not add any upset to her life by making her feel like the situation with A has caused you to fall out with her. She needs you more than you need to clear the air with A, so I would leave it alone and just keep being kind and supportive to B.

cordeliavorkosigan · 09/04/2019 17:52

I think you, B, your parents etc should all take a big step back. You don't need to call her out, confront her - she is obviously avoiding you, very likely knows you know she is not pregnant, and clearly did this for the attention.
Focus on supporting B.
As a family -- pull back, don't call, don't go rushing over to get a new kitchen fitted for her, have her for dinner, etc. Your dad is probably right- clearly she needs you all in some way, and she might well need help with her mental health.
Offer her girlfriend support if she needs it and just pull gently away in the mean time.

Sallycinnamum · 09/04/2019 17:53

This is the sort of thing my SIL would do. We've had 20 years of her batshit behaviour and my parents and I had to go NC with my brother last year.

She actually frightens me because I know she'd go to any length to gain attention. There is no limit. My brother just enables her now.

Nearly47 · 09/04/2019 17:58

Whatever were her reasons to lie she needs help. This is off the scale crazy behaviour IMO.

Horsemenoftheaclopalypse · 09/04/2019 18:08

if your sister ' isn't feeling well ' as she told your mum on the phone , could this not be the start of her 'miscarriage '?

This.

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