to be annoyed at how DP 'proposed' to me?

[FireFaerie]

Sorry, this may be a little long winded..

Last night he got a bit drunk, i came back from work with a few little pressies for him (Cherry pie and a keyring i saw and thought he'd like) He then ignored me whilst chatting to 2 of his friends on the phone and then nagged at me to get in the shower so he could get on the computer. When i came from the shower in my towel, feeling tired and a bit cheesed off that me efforts had gone to waste, plonked myself down in my chair and made a bit of a comment about how cheesed off i was....

He then got down on the floor infront of my chair, told me to close my eyes whilst sliding one of his HUGE barbed wire looking rings from his finger, and said 'Ive got a question that i dont think your expecting' and then asked me to marry him..
I probably wouldnt be so miffed but he proposed to me a few times when we hadnt been together that long and i explained to him that as i already had a child i wanted to make ABSOLUTELY sure that we were doing the right thing, and that if and when he felt the need to propose later on in our relationship i expected him to do it completely sober. Weve spoken about it loads and always went on about how romantic it could be etc etc...
Am i being a mean and sour faced bitch? Do i expect too much from him?

I think this is probably the only place where im going to get some hardcore honest answers.
I said yes by the way, but did also say that i wish he hadnt of had a drink. He then passed out downstairs an hour later.

Sorry about typos etc, im also talking to DS about sports day

I can see what you're saying but it sounds as though he was being very true to himself and ... I don't know what else to say except CONGRATULATIONS!

maybe just a little unreasonable.

I was going to post that I hope you had told him to ask you again when he was sober!

I asked my DH to marry me, over a satellite phone, on Feb 29. He didn't say yes, but did ask me to phone back that night if I was deadly serious.

Anyway, I did ring him back and in Jan we had been married 10 years!

Congratulations, BTW!

I don't think it's ridiculous of you to be disappointed that he proposed whilst drunk and then passed out shortly after.

Why do you think he asked you?

Will he remember asking you?

Is his drinking a problem?

DO you even want to marry him?

Well at least you got a proposal!

All I got was

"well if you want a ring for your birthday then we may as well juts buy a proper one than a cheap bit of silver"

Romantic.

i chuckled when i read your post...some men are oooh sooo romantic when they have a drink inside them. it is quite sweet though. congratulations to you.

Oh and btw

Congratulations

When he proposed before was he sober then? Your post seems to indicate not.

I'm not saying that you must have the romance but can he only propose when pissed?

Also

maybe he feels like he needs the alcohol to boost his confidence.
He might have been really nervous about asking you.

Are you fed up because of the way it happened? Or because you think he only asked you because he was drunk?

Seeing as you've said yes I assume you do want to marry him! How about asking him to take you out for a special meal once you have bought the ring so he can propose in the romantic way you always wanted...? Let him make all the plans, book the meal, sort out babysitters etc... and all you are to do is turn up, look beautiful, and be swept off your feet!!

Congratulations btw!

If you want to marry him then I don't think the manner of his proposal matters all that much (though I speak as someone who has been with possibly the most unromantic man in the universe for the last 16 years).

Fwiw, my Dad's proposal to my Mum was completely unromantic (in a phone box) and they've been married nearly 40 years.

Dh's proposal to me was unromantic (he had appendicitis and thought he was dying) and we've been married for 10 years.

My brother staged the most romantic proposal ever (can't give details as it's too identifying - suffice to say you would go "ooooh" and "aaaaah") to his then girlfriend and she slept with his best friend less than a year later and they are now divorced.

It's the person that matters - not the proposal.

Well, I read that as - he was ignoring you and chatting because he was very nervous. He nagged you to get into the shower because he wanted to sort out the ring and get his words straight. He probably had a drink for dutch courage.

Everyone wants a dream proposal, so I understand why you are upset, but maybe you are being a leeetle hard on him.

Have a proper chat, make sure it's what you both really want (sober!) and CONGRATULATIONS!

gosh everyone's being very forgiving of him - I think that was a rubbish proposal and I would be a bit pissed off as well (especially the passing out downstairs an hour later part) - but it's done now and you can't try and re-do it so I suppose just make the most of it and try and have a nice night out together to celebrate.

FWIW my dp 'proposed' in the least romantic way possible (well if you really want to, Ok we'll get married' following a huge row) but I don't care now and we're getting married in September. The most memorable thing will be your wedding not your proposal, but I still think you're well within your rights for being annoyed!!

oh dear, i think you need to do it for you your dc will get over it believe me my mom been married 4times! and its never really affected us.
Good luck in thinking over your decision

Well the mans heart is in the right place... he just seems to be lacking in style. If it's any consolation, DH asked me to marry him 3 days after we'd met. I told him to ask me again in the morning when he was sober. He never asked me again. (And yes, we are happily married, ten years later)

Some men are just not romantic, it doesn't mean they don't have other great qualities.

Congratulations!

I think we are primed to expect a Paris-and-flowers type proposal, but I reckon that men need a lot of dutch courage, hence the passing out afterwards thing.

If it is any consolation, my husband ended up getting down on one knee in a pool room of a pub called "The Dungeon" in my home town. Seriously, a pub has never been so aptly named - what a dive.

I think I spoiled the moment even more by saying something like "What - here?"

agree with marthamoo - it's the person that matters, and the fact that he wants to marry you, not the manner in which he proposed. It's a bit like the first time you sleep with someone - it's generally never as you would have hoped it would be.

congratulations.

Don't get too hung up on a 'romantic' proposal - the imp thing is that he wants to marry you . I didn't get a big declaration either, was just handed the ring (and Dh was sitting down at the time)

Oooh, let's talk crap proposals/responses!

My friend's BF took her to Paris for New Years Eve. They had dinner on the Eiffel Tower. It was very romantic.

The next morning he woke her up quite early - she said she had a massive hangover and couldn't understand why he was still wearing his black tie. He told her they were going for a walk, she had a massive strop and said she wanted to stay in bed. He practically dragged her out of bed, and in the end she just threw on her coat and shoes over her PJ and stomped out, being (in her words) a real brat.

The got to the middle of Pont Neuf, he went down on one knee and whipped out a diamond! She was mortified and burst into tears immediately.

They are happily married with 2 gorgeous DCs now but he's never let her live that one down!

Some men don't have a romantic bone in thier body but they mean well. He probably got drunk to work up the courage to ask you. Have you ever read men are from mars and woman from venus?

It explains some of the communication barriers between men and women. We really do think different than our counterparts.

Oh I think he might have been nervous hence having a drink or eight.

My DH proposed in a jewellery shop saying, "Perhaps we should choose a ring for that finger".

I was so shocked, I told him to bugger off . He later proposed to me properly on a subway carriage by mouthing, "will you marry me?".

He's not the most romantic of people but I loved the fact that he didn't make a big song and dance about it.

mine was on his hands and knees getting his shoes out the wardrobe and turned round and said"well while i'm down here anyway..."

I wanted a reproposal with the ring and thus it was organised. Including the bloody nosey woman from the jewellers who asked him where we were going and booked a table for a birds eye view.

Dh got down on one knee and a woman projectile vomited as he asked me to marry him. In a v v nice expensive restaurant btw.

Next day I held out my hand to show his parents the ring and a stone had gone missing

All hilarious in retrospect but a bit rubbish at the time. we are v happy though been together for 9 years now.

Congratulations

Don't got to hang up on how he proposed as very rare is a romantic.

When my DH proposed he was playing world of warlock and i was watching something on telly, and it something along the lines off as your moving in we might as well get married. (Have now been married for 6years and lived together for 2 years before).

Just make sure you get a nice ring.

We wre lying in bed. He said " Oblomov, I love you. Will you marry me". I said "of course I will". He said "fantastic" and rolled over and started snoring.
I wouldn't have had it any other way. I was never a ring, on bended knee, infront of the iffle tower, type of girl. But I appreciate that most normal people do what atleast a bit of zing.
OP, Being drunk, is not 'brilliant'.