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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby Change - toilet priority.

153 replies

coffeeforone · 07/04/2019 20:34

Fully prepared to be told AIBU.

I was in my local supermarket this afternoon, my 6 month old had a poo explosion at same time my almost 3 year old decided he needed a wee.

There was a sign on the men's loo saying it was out of order - please use baby change.
Supermarket was busy and, about 5 men were queueing in a single queue for the baby change and the separate disabled loo. I joined the end of the queue and waited for a couple of minutes. Toddler was getting desperate so I then took him into the ladies (no queue) and he used the loo there.

Came back out fully expecting the guy that had joined behind me in the baby change queue (who was now at the front) to let me back in at same place - but he refused, and said I'd need to wait again as he couldn't wait any longer and I should have just changed my baby in the ladies (the floor was pretty dirty and he'd had a poo explosion so I felt a contained baby change was required), by this time there were another 4 males in the queue, who pretended I was invisible.

WIBU to be really pissed off?

OP posts:
londonrach · 07/04/2019 23:29

Yabu of course.in fact as it takes longer and men are quick, poo already poohed id say you should in theory allow people behind you to use toilet if they need it urgently. Of course man in front of you goes first!

Catren · 07/04/2019 23:31

If it was me, I'd have hoped someone would have let me back in, would have been annoyed, but i guess you can't make people give up their place. Maybe I'd have been immature and changed baby on the floor next to the queue on a baby mat but probably wouldn't be daring enough.. in reality i would have used the ladies and surrendered the baby change mat if it couldn't stand the poonami. Shame that other ladies in the loo would have to deal with sight of that scene though! Babies, eh?

Raspberry88 · 08/04/2019 08:10

Frankly I think they should NEVER combine disabled/changing (and not put a loo in the changing room so people don’t use it when the toilets are busy).

I agree that it would be better if disabled and changing provision were seperate but I disagree with not having a toilet in the changing room. In fact I wish that there was a toilet in every baby change because otherwise where are you supposed to go for a wee if you're on your own. It's almost impossible to fit a pushchair in a normal sized cubical and it's not like you can leave your baby outside in the pram. Even now that DS is older and walking and can come into the cubical with me there's still nowhere to leave a pushchair. I've found most places do have a toilet but in the past I have had to change DS and then go into the disabled toilet to go to the loo myself.

MontStMichel · 08/04/2019 08:47

I am rather sceptical that any healthy adult (male or female) couldn't wait a bit longer.

I can assure you men with prostate problems may not be able to wait a bit longer, without wetting themselves! DH goes before we leave home, and has to go again first thing when we get anyway! DH was walking on a footpath in the countryside, when the urge came on - he did not even have time to go behind a bush! He just had to go there and then, regardless of whether there was anybody else walking along the path. His friend with terminal prostate cancer tells me I don’t understand what it’s like!

We have changed a poo explosion in a disabled adult, standing up in a public car park on a beach - when she says she needs to go, we have less than a minute to get her to a toilet! (She has complex learning disabilities but looks “normal”)

DDIL changes DGD in the back of our car!

hazeyjane · 08/04/2019 08:53

For all those disgusted by the idea of changing a baby on the toilet floor, maybe have a look at the changing places campaign. For many older children and adults being changed on filthy toilet floors is the only option.

www.changing-places.org

MontStMichel · 08/04/2019 08:54

(DD wears adult incontince pants, but they cannot cope with a poo explosion in a dyspraxic bowel)

crispysausagerolls · 08/04/2019 09:00

I disagree with everyone saying it would be another 30 seconds to wait blah blah doesn’t make a difference. The man could’ve been ages! Some people use public loos for 💩! And it does matter with a baby as the poo is acidic and they get nappy rash.

I would’ve let yo go ahead because I’m a decent human. The men queuing could’ve used the ladies IMO. But if no one let me I would’ve gone to the car and changed in the boot. Definitely not on the floor of a dirty loo.

hazeyjane · 08/04/2019 09:07

Definitely not on the floor of a dirty loo

Even when I didn't have a disabled child - and no choice but to change him on the floor of the woefully inadequate disabled toilet - I would sometimes change one of the dds on the toilet floor...changing mat down, change, shove it all in a bag.

Raspberry88 · 08/04/2019 09:15

Some people use public loos for 💩!

They don't do they?? Shocking. Using a toilet to do a poo. I've never heard of such a thing.
In all seriousness though, you do realise when posters are saying that sometimes people need to go asap they're not just taking about weeing.

Eliza9919 · 08/04/2019 09:20

Came back out fully expecting the guy that had joined behind me in the baby change queue (who was now at the front) to let me back in at same place - but he refused

So he should. This is cheeky fucker entitlement.

RedPanda2 · 08/04/2019 09:24

I wouldn't have let you in. I'm not going into a toilet after a poo explosion, you might've been in there for ages

Lost5stone · 08/04/2019 09:30

I agree with a PP that they should have made the women's unisex just for the day. I know that is totally unacceptable on MN, but I think in the situation that would have been better.

But that's not the point of the thread. I probably would have let you in but would completely understand why people wouldn't. Poo explosions take a while to sort!

Wallsbangers · 08/04/2019 09:31

You shouldn't have expected to be let back into the same spot or have priority in this situation.

I think it depends how desperate they were. I would let someone in front of me in these circumstances providing I wasn't going to wet myself but I've had several baby poonami to clean up so have some sympathy! I often let kids doing the wee dance in front of me in the queue too.

NewAccount270219 · 08/04/2019 09:32

Places I’ve changed babies:
Park bench
car bonnet (nope, not our car - just a random car in a parking lot blush )
Floor of a department store when nobody was looking
Floor of an aircraft

Some of these are completely unacceptable and rude

FrancisCrawford · 08/04/2019 09:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrancisCrawford · 08/04/2019 09:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChipSandwich · 08/04/2019 09:57

For many older children and adults being changed on filthy toilet floors is the only option

This is why I can't take my 32 year old daughter out any more. She's put on a couple of stones in the past 5 years, and is a few inches taller than me. It's far too difficult to get her down and up off the floor. I can't, however, get the knack of changing her standing up in a cubicle - my husband is 6' 3" and he can do it easily, providing there is a disabled loo. But can you imagine the looks when he takes her in there.

BishopBrennansArse · 08/04/2019 10:02

Big thank you to @Yabbers for mentioning the changing places campaign.

It got to the point where I had to get imaginative with ds, so delayed was his continence so I ended up using the car boot.

Sometimes in parenting you have to improvise.

MontStMichel · 08/04/2019 10:09

And it does matter with a baby as the poo is acidic and they get nappy rash.

Come off it - I had twins! If one of them did a poo half way to or from DS's school, I did not get down on the pavement and change them there and then - I waited until I got home. Its not ideal; but then its not for an adult to have to go home, because they could not wait in public either! (Been there, done that numerous times with adult disabled DD1 too)

JuniorAsparagus · 08/04/2019 11:10

I wouldn't expect to push back in to any queue if I had left it. It is entirely up to the other queue members to decide whether to let you back in.

Alsohuman · 08/04/2019 11:31

I’m perfectly healthy and I can’t wait. When I have to go it’s urgent. So I’d definitely have said no. Cleaning up a filthy baby could take ages. I struggle to see why the ladies’ floor was out of the question. I bet it was cleaner than the baby.

Oct18mummy · 08/04/2019 11:44

Did you ask him to hold your place in the queue?

Lolwhat · 08/04/2019 17:21

Deffo yabu, I would let you go in front of course but you’re not entitled to it

IncrediblySadToo · 08/04/2019 18:08

Whether the people that were originally behind the OP in the queue were desperate or not is irrelevant. They were still waiting for the toilet to be free. They’d have been no worse off to let her back into the queue than if she hadn’t left it. She only left it to take her desperate toddler to the toilet, not to get herself a coffee.

I think it was disgraceful they didn’t let her resume her place in the queue.

Original poster
coffeeforone · 08/04/2019 18:28

Did you ask him to hold your place in the queue?

No, I didn't, but he knew why I left the queue as I did openly discuss with toddler that we were just quickly popping in the other toilet for him to see then we will come back to change his brother.

Maybe I should have asked before I left and he might have let me back in.

OP posts:
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