Baby Change - toilet priority.

[coffeeforone]

Fully prepared to be told AIBU.

I was in my local supermarket this afternoon, my 6 month old had a poo explosion at same time my almost 3 year old decided he needed a wee.

There was a sign on the men's loo saying it was out of order - please use baby change.
Supermarket was busy and, about 5 men were queueing in a single queue for the baby change and the separate disabled loo. I joined the end of the queue and waited for a couple of minutes. Toddler was getting desperate so I then took him into the ladies (no queue) and he used the loo there.

Came back out fully expecting the guy that had joined behind me in the baby change queue (who was now at the front) to let me back in at same place - but he refused, and said I'd need to wait again as he couldn't wait any longer and I should have just changed my baby in the ladies (the floor was pretty dirty and he'd had a poo explosion so I felt a contained baby change was required), by this time there were another 4 males in the queue, who pretended I was invisible.

WIBU to be really pissed off?

KmoKmo yes I do.

Changing bags often have changing mats. The baby doesn't necessarily have to be placed on the tiles! I also don't think the floor of the ladies toilet over by the sinks should be disgusting. It's probably mopped daily. And if it was, there is the boot of your car - if you've driven. As I said in my post.

You left the queue, no one knew to hold your space or that you would be back.
The man said he could not wait, quite possible, as a lot of folk on water tablets which means they need to pee urgently and can't hold. Also many men and women have dodgy bladders which is no joke either.
It is unfortunate that the baby change is in the disabled loo and bad design.

For those who say they have used the ladies floor in those circumstances, it was a dirty floor, not a massive floor space and a toddler in tow who needed supervised whilst I dealt with a lot of mess. A contained private space is a much better option, even if I did have to queue (twice) for it.

Fully understand the others in the queue who hadn't seen me before. It was the guy who had already been queuing behind me that I had expected better of. Of course he could have been disabled but then why didn't he just skip the queue and stand outside the separate disabled loo. He didn't say he was disabled and he didn't wait for the separate disabled loo, he used the loo in the baby change.

I’d have spoken to a manager about changing the signage - babies and disabled take priority.

Please tell me that was a joke. 😂

Seriously though, I would have let you return to where you were in the queue, but I can see it from the guy’s point of view that if he was desperate to go, he didn’t want to wait again and it only takes a short while to pee.

Why should be declare a disability to you?

And even if he wasn’t disabled you left the queue. He needed the toilet. You can’t expect to just wander back in!

It was the guy who had already been queuing behind me that I had expected better of.

You left the queue for what must have been a few minutes. Why on earth did you expect him to let you in? Entitled much?

I've had to. Absolutely no baby changing and had a little changing mat. He's ok, survived it!

That's irrelevant. There was no baby changing facilities so you had no choice.

Whereas the choice between changing my baby on the floor or waiting an extra few minutes for baby changing in a queue?

So many questions. What supermarket was this because the lack of facilities and the fact the ladies toilets were so dirty and disgusting that you couldn't have changed your baby in there (on your own changing mat) should be highlighted to them as disgusting. Secondly why was it so fucking busy?! I've never seen supermarket toilets busy ever (both Male and female as I now identify as male) so this just all sounds nuts. Next time just let your toddler use the ladies and then change your baby on the floor or in your car. I've done the car change many times as I used to have a bit of a phobia of baby changes as some of them are so disgusting!

I would have told the men queuing to go and use the ladies toilets!

Sorry but you’d change your baby on a dirty toilet floor
This is a very real situation for many families who care for disabled children.

Presumably you have been advocating strongly for changing places toilets?

Why not take the baby and change them in the back of the car?

Perhaps other people in the queue had issues eg Chrohns disease or kidney problems which meant they couldn’t really wait for you to change your baby (which as someone else said would have taken much longer than an adult using the loo!).

fully expecting the guy that had joined behind me in the baby change queue (who was now at the front) to let me back in at same place

Really? You expected him to let you in front? Why? You left the queue for a few minutes-not seconds-he was next. He might have urge incontinence, a colostomy bag, a UTI .....any number of reasons why he couldn’t wait for the amount of time it would take you to change a baby. YABU.

I don't think the man should have given up his space for the baby to get changed. For the toddler maybe. But his choice.

The baby had already pooped everywhere. It's inconvenient to have to wait a bit longer to change her but the baby doesn't get priority over someone actually needing to wee.

Whereas the choice between changing my baby on the floor or waiting an extra few minutes for baby changing in a queue?

I know. I would have waited. I was responding to the poster who said that they would never change their baby on a floor, not to the OP.

where on earth where you that 9 men needed to go to the toilet in such a short space of time!

Yes the issue is the shops

I think the problem is time. Even if I was desperate, I would have happily let you nip for a wee in front of me with the toddler. I would worry that the baby change might take a while though. Usually blokes are in and out very quickly anyway.

So there were 5 men in the queue and then another 4 joined.
God, is there an epidemic if C. Diff in your area or something??

I carry disposable incontinence mats in my changing bag - larger than the changing mat so good coverage on the floor, plus if the floor is grim you can just throw it away afterwards.

I know. I would have waited. I was responding to the poster who said that they would never change their baby on a floor, not to the OP

I was one of the posters who said I woukd certainly not change my baby on the toilet floor, but I meant in the OPs situation

So you had a baby in a nappy that needed changing plus clothes vs a man dying for the loo. Presumably if he’s been waiting a long time he might have been having trouble holding it much longer. Of course you were being unreasonable.

Farmerswifey12

I see. Well, what you said was I certainly would not change my baby on the floor of a public toilet!! So you can see why I thought you meant public toilets in general.

I’m a father, very few public toilets here have a seperate baby change, very few have a changing area in the mens. It really isn’t that hard to squat with a baby on your lap and change them, it also isn’t hard to wipe the toilet seat, sit on it and lay the baby across your lap to change them.

I think you were being unreasonable, it would have been better to say to the guy behind you as you left the queue what you were doing and that you'd be back, he may have been more likely to let you back in but, even still, if he really needed to go then I'm not surprised he said no.