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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Baby Change - toilet priority.

153 replies

coffeeforone · 07/04/2019 20:34

Fully prepared to be told AIBU.

I was in my local supermarket this afternoon, my 6 month old had a poo explosion at same time my almost 3 year old decided he needed a wee.

There was a sign on the men's loo saying it was out of order - please use baby change.
Supermarket was busy and, about 5 men were queueing in a single queue for the baby change and the separate disabled loo. I joined the end of the queue and waited for a couple of minutes. Toddler was getting desperate so I then took him into the ladies (no queue) and he used the loo there.

Came back out fully expecting the guy that had joined behind me in the baby change queue (who was now at the front) to let me back in at same place - but he refused, and said I'd need to wait again as he couldn't wait any longer and I should have just changed my baby in the ladies (the floor was pretty dirty and he'd had a poo explosion so I felt a contained baby change was required), by this time there were another 4 males in the queue, who pretended I was invisible.

WIBU to be really pissed off?

OP posts:

TurquoiseDress · 07/04/2019 21:18

Toilet floors tend to be utterly disgusting places!

Especially a supermarket toilet

I don't blame you for not wanting to do that, it's grim

Also, I tend to go out and about with the pushchair and rarely drive in town- the car would not have been a changing place option!

multiplemum3 · 07/04/2019 21:20

Of course you can't leave a queue then jump back in where you were. What sort of entitled craziness is that lol.

TurquoiseDress · 07/04/2019 21:21

Tesco I'm looking at you!

arethereanyleftatall · 07/04/2019 21:21

I take it you're male op? (Otherwise I'm confused why going in to the ladies with your toddler wasn't the first thing you did).

I think the man was ok to stay put tbh. He needed the toilet urgently, you didn't at all, you just needed to clean your baby up. Like others, I used to carry a change mat at all times so I could change baby anyway, the car probably in this situation as if it was that busy I would have felt bad to take up five minutes in the one loo

steff13 · 07/04/2019 21:21

Also, I tend to go out and about with the pushchair

But you could probably lay the stroller seat down and change the baby in there.

Roxyxoxo · 07/04/2019 21:22

He wasn’t being unreasonable, another few minutes of waiting is unlikely to do any harm to your baby (as gross as a poo explosion is!), whereas if he really needed to go he probably didn’t want to/couldn’t wait another few minutes on top of the wait to get to the front of the queue. Unfortunate that there wasn’t better provision though.

Hushnownobodycares · 07/04/2019 21:23

A shit covered baby doesn't trump an adult who's patiently queued for several minutes.

Assuming this unlikely scenario (5 blokes? In a local supermarket? Really?) actually happened at all of course.

steff13 · 07/04/2019 21:24

And I don't think the guy was unreasonable. Maybe he really had to go.

JuniorAsparagus · 07/04/2019 21:25

Maybe he was actually disabled, needed to empty a catheter bag, or was just desperate.

NewYoiker · 07/04/2019 21:25

Giddyuppp · 07/04/2019 21:27

I've changed my baby in the boot of my car before. I have a travel changing may but you can also buy disposable ones, might be an idea to buy this in case you're caught short again.

mumwon · 07/04/2019 21:27

men can have bladder & prostate problems or urine infections or time issues or be on blood pressure medication or be diabetic etc etc just because someone looks healthy or non-disabled doesn't mean they are - he may well have been desperate for any other reasons - I would however complain to the supermarket

dementedpixie · 07/04/2019 21:29

If you leave the queue then you join the back of the queue again. You can't just push in?

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 07/04/2019 21:31

YABVU and selfish. You left the queue, end of. When you rejoin a queue, you rejoin the back of it.

TakeMe2Insanity · 07/04/2019 21:32

You left the queue.

Changing mat on the floor in the ladies, pop it in the machine when you get home. No drama.

Original poster

coffeeforone · 07/04/2019 21:34

Thanks all. It appears IWBU, accepted.

I was just thinking that if I was that bloke then I'd have let me back in the queue in same spot, but of course I don't know his personal situation and how desperate he was.

OP posts:

Sleepyblueocean · 07/04/2019 21:35

You could have changed the baby on the floor. Some people have to use the floor to change their child for most of the time.

TeachesOfPeaches · 07/04/2019 21:37

I'm amazed NINE blokes in a supermarket all needed a wee at once. Must be some sort of record.

PengAly · 07/04/2019 21:38

Well done OP for accepted ywbu. Can i just point out that even if that man didnt have a disability you really still shouldnt have expected him to let you jump ahead. His need isnt any less than your baby's, if anything he trumps you because he needs to go whereas your baby could have waited a few more minutes.

PurpleDaisies · 07/04/2019 21:39

I don't know his personal situation and how desperate he was.

None of that is relevant. You were in the queue. You left the queue for a while. You expected to be let back in at the front.

Oysterbabe · 07/04/2019 21:39

He was probably just pleased he was no longer behind you. Changing a baby including its clothes is going to take a lot longer than a quick wee.

Yabbers · 07/04/2019 21:40

It really isn’t that hard to squat with a baby on your lap and change them

A) men have longer legs.
B) not all babies can physically be changed this way.
C) what might not be hard for you might actually be difficult for other people. I assume you realise that.

DD could very definitely not be changed this way. Not by me as she was very long and my lap is short. Not by my mum who was very adept at doing it when we were babies. Glad you have a solution, not everyone is so fortunate.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 07/04/2019 21:43

@mumwon complain about what? It isnt the supermarkets fault the toilets were out of order.

Honeydukes92 · 07/04/2019 21:43

🤔 Morally babies/disabled should take priority...but actually if the gender appropriate toilets are out of order and merged with the disabled/changing facilities then technically nobody takes priority anymore.

I used to be the supervisor of a large (and busy) store and this happened on several occasions. To ask a gender to use one bathroom and then give others automatic priority over them can quite easily escalate into sexual discrimination...and did once result in a (early 60’s and non disabled gentleman) shitting himself 😒 in the middle of us trying to sort out a dispute between a wheel chair user and a mum whose baby was visibly leaking poo through his baby grow and onto the mums shirt! 💩 Poor guy wasn’t feeling well (obviously) and wasn’t even being considered for loo priority.

Frankly I think they should NEVER combine disabled/changing (and not put a loo in the changing room so people don’t use it when the toilets are busy).
Also think it should be illegal to totally close a gender toilet (if a premesis is required to have them) just close off one/two cubicles at a time!

HariboLecter · 07/04/2019 21:45

Who should get priority, the baby who has already crapped themself or the person potentially about to crap (or pee) themselves?

Telling people to "hold it" isn't always physically possible for people.

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