Baby Change - toilet priority.

[coffeeforone]

Fully prepared to be told AIBU.

I was in my local supermarket this afternoon, my 6 month old had a poo explosion at same time my almost 3 year old decided he needed a wee.

There was a sign on the men's loo saying it was out of order - please use baby change.
Supermarket was busy and, about 5 men were queueing in a single queue for the baby change and the separate disabled loo. I joined the end of the queue and waited for a couple of minutes. Toddler was getting desperate so I then took him into the ladies (no queue) and he used the loo there.

Came back out fully expecting the guy that had joined behind me in the baby change queue (who was now at the front) to let me back in at same place - but he refused, and said I'd need to wait again as he couldn't wait any longer and I should have just changed my baby in the ladies (the floor was pretty dirty and he'd had a poo explosion so I felt a contained baby change was required), by this time there were another 4 males in the queue, who pretended I was invisible.

WIBU to be really pissed off?

*some people

Would you rather the poor guy wet him self? Yabu

Morally babies/disabled should take priority

Why should babies take priority? They have nappies on? They’re much easier to clean up than an adult.

OP your sense of entitlement is staggering. Your toddler no longer needed the toilet as you used your other option...the ladies toilet. Your baby though while I am sure they were indeed in need of changing was able to wait 5/10mins more. Meanwhile through not fault of their own grown men are having to line up and hold on because of the mens toilet being out of order. In true British style you left the queue so therefore unless extenuating circumstances...ie the ladies was full and toddler was desperate then there was absolutely no reason for you to jump the queue as such IMO

@purple

🤔 Because if its an allocated disabled/baby change room... then you would expect that those two things take priority.

🤔 Because they’ve already been to the toilet and are now sat in a pile of their own poo...which quite often fails to be contained by the nappy...as I mentioned in my earlier comment.

🤔 Because most mother’s arent thrilled at the prospect of waiting in a queue of 14 adult men (yes it gets this busy on a weekend) whilst their screaming infant leakes poo.

I would give the same level of priority to a soiled infant that I would an adult with a colostomy bag...or similar.

Not saying that OP is correct btw, I’m only saying that the real villain in this situation is the store/management who often don’t prioritise toilet facilities/maintenance!

@Honeydukes92

Nope none of those reasons cut it.

I'm sure men aren't happy to wait in a queue to use a single toilet. The baby has already been sitting in his poo while the toddler went to the loo (because the toddler not weeing themselves was more important than the baby being changed immediately).

At the moment the toilet isn't the baby change unit it's the men's loo and baby change unit. OP left the queue and wanted to cut back in - unless it's an emergency she doesn't get to.

Honeydukes 92 absolutely right!

If changing the baby is priority why did the op leave the queue to take the other child to the toilet.

You move you loose. Simple.
A poopy nappy does not give you a free pass.
Sorry. YABU.

This toilet isn't the disabled/ baby change.

There's a separate disabled toilet.

This is currently baby change/mens toilet so it will be take your turn.

Same as if it were the ladies out of order. Would you all then let anyone with a baby go first, even though you'd been queuing a while?

I have a baby and a toddler and in that situation I’d have taken the toddler to the loo and joined the back of the queue, not where I’d left it. If it was going to be ages I’d have gone back to the car and changed the baby there, we often do that if for whatever reason there is no baby changing, if I’ve no car I put the changing mat in the pram. Having baby doesn’t mean you take priority, sorry. You were being entitled, if that man was dying for the loo who can blame him for not wanting to wait another 5 minutes (or more?) I watched a woman disappear into the baby changing at a restaurant the other day, I overheard her saying to her partner she was going to feed the baby. She didn’t come out for 30 minutes!!

Because most mother’s arent thrilled at the prospect of waiting in a queue of 14 adult men (yes it gets this busy on a weekend) whilst their screaming infant leakes poo.

God the entitlement is staggering! Do you think the man was happy to wait in a long queue while he was in danger of shitting/weeing himself?

Babies wear nappies for a reason! What do you think happens when a baby craps itself on the bus or during your walk home? Do you instantly change them or just wait till you get home? It was obviously fine to leave the baby in it's poo while the toddler went to the loo - so OP can wait a little longer while the man who has been queueing properly in the toilet allocated for his use uses the loo!

Try having a 9 year old baby ..... I've had to change in a wide variety of places ! I use incontinent pads and chuck them away .... We've had to buy a WAV to carry wheelchair and allow privacy to change my disabled child !!!!
I think you were being a little precious !

Because if its an allocated disabled/baby change room... then you would expect that those two things take priority.

It wasn’t on that day. It was a men’s toilet/changing room. Neither gets priority there.

Because they’ve already been to the toilet and are now sat in a pile of their own poo...which quite often fails to be contained by the nappy...as I mentioned in my earlier comment.

If it was such an emergency, why did the op leave the queue?

Because most mothers aren't thrilled at the prospect of waiting in a queue of 14 adult men (yes it gets this busy on a weekend) whilst their screaming infant leaks poo.

So what? No one is thrilled at the idea of waiting in a toilet queue. That doesn’t mean they should get a free pass to the front. People can offer to let them in front if they’re feeling kind but it’s entitled to expect to push in.

If I needed a quick pee, and someone who had left the queue demanded to get in front of me to change a baby I'd tell them to piss off. That can take fifteen minutes if you are a real faffer, and I can be in and out in less than a minute.

Places I’ve changed babies:
Park bench
car bonnet (nope, not our car - just a random car in a parking lot )
Floor of a department store when nobody was looking
Floor of an aircraft

I’ve also flown extensively with barely toilet trained kids, which is always a barrel of laughs as by the time they say they need the loo, they’re already desperate, and of course there’s a huge queue.

So I get that babies need changing. But YAstillBU to say the baby should take priority over an adult who needs the toilet.

I am rather sceptical that any healthy adult (male or female) couldn't wait a bit longer.

Of course, it could be that poor man was suffering and really couldn't wait, but I'd hope he'd be the exception.

That said, I think this was a case for dashing back to the car and changing the baby on the back seat with the toddler strapped into his seat. Not nice, but at least you know the seat is clean and you have the toddler where you can see him/know he isn't trying to get into anything dirty.

l can relate l was at an event where l was disabled and l had to Que up with everyone else as they were also using the disabled toilets and l got no priority it was quite difficult using able bodied toilets at that stage.

🤔 just to clarify. I was commenting on my experience of working in a store (in which this situation frequently happened).

I don’t even have kids... I’m not saying I think they’re right... but it’s a pretty common occurance on a weekend when regular toilets are out of use.

They should have made the women's toilets unisex and kept the baby one free for poo explosions. It's all cubicles anyway.

The man may have had a hidden disability that meant he was unable to wait.

Of course you can change a baby's nappy on a loo floor, it's not ideal, but you can wash the changing mat when you get home. I used to carry a disposable changing mat for situations like this (Pampers do multipacks), it creates a clean space and you can throw the mat away afterwards.

I am rather sceptical that any healthy adult (male or female) couldn't wait a bit longer.

That's really unfair because why should anyone in the queue need to disclose a medical condition to a random stranger, just to justify their need to use the toilet?

I have crohns disease and there have been instances when I am next in the queue and a mum has just pushed to the front with a child and thrown an " you don't mind do you, she's desperate" over her shoulder. Why should I then need to tell her the reason why I need to go next?

I didn't suggest they should, littlechristmasmouse?

I said I am sceptical that any healthy person couldn't wait.

My point being (as I said), that this person might have a hidden disability or a medical need.

Confused as to why you think we disagree?

Because how does anyone know that the person has an illness or not, in order to be sceptical?

The man said he couldn't wait. What is there to be sceptical about?