To think living this rurally would be creepy?

[Blewbird]

We went to see a plot of land today with the potential to build a house. Absolutely beautiful land BUT you can't see another house. It's a "no one would hear you scream scenario." We have young DC and DH often travels. We have always lived in urban areas. Would this be bizarre or do you get used to it?

Personally, I'd hate it, particularly if I was alone a lot of the time. I lived on the outskirts of a city for many years, in a village, whilst my husband travelled much of the time, and I was miserable, so remote wouldn't do for me at all. If you have only ever lived in a town or city before, I'm not sure now would be a good time for you to start, with a travelling husband and young children to look after.

Do you have kids? It would be unfair on them to live so rural.

We currently live on the edge of a village so the leap wouldn't be too big. I thought leaving the city would be really hard but it hasn't been. The kids love it. We've tried to make local friends for them but really haven't had much luck. They go to a private school and their friends seem to be all over the county. Everyone seems to be a taxi. Eldest won't go to secondary for another 7 years so maybe this house would be good until then.

But I said to DH over breakfast that I think we should offer tomorrow and he went silent for a bit. My completely non-woo, atheist, scientist husband felt like he was "being watched" in a weird way when we were out there. He said it wasn't "a happy place". There's an old house that's now derelict on the plot but it had CCTV and the sheds were bolted shut with some serious security. He's never expressed a gut instinct before so now I'm wavering again!

I've lived like that, never again! The sense of isolation was oppressive. I became very anxious, even going into the gardens I was always looking over my shoulder. We had all the security stuff but it felt unnatural living out of earshot of other humans!

Never buy somewhere that gives one of you the creeps.

@exLtEveDallas 😂😂 Jesus Christ!!!her problems were because of her dysfunctional family not because of living in the country I know of plenty of children living in the country who have and had idyllic childhoods (myself included) I would much rather bring mine up rurally. Plenty of children grow up in cities grow up and get in with wrong crowds, get into trouble skip school, have little or no relationships with their parents etc etc it’s about the family you have not where you live 🙄

FWIW my children go to a local school, have play dates, there’s a park in our village which is fantastic and they go to the nearest town/city for swimming, gymnastics etc they don’t miss out on anything that a city dwelling child would have.

It's not properly rural if there's a town with a swimming pool within easy driving distance...

blewbird i wouldn’t buy a house that gave me the creeps no matter what. The isolation wouldn’t put me off but general ‘creepiness’ is off putting whether on an estate or rurally.

With regards to the children making friends, if they are not at the village school, you will have to either suck up being a taxi for years and years or really work hard to immured yourself in village life and send them to lots of the village activities such as cubs/scouts etc. I grew up in a lovely dank village, but I do always remember the private school kids as always being on the edge of things and never quite included fully, purely because we didn’t know them and as a child I felt a bit sorry for them (although obviously I didn’t realise they had loads of friends at school etc 🙈😁)

** small village (not dank !)

I disagree that it would be unfair on kids! My childhood growing up on that farm was completely idyllic and we were never bored. Had the run of acres and acres of woods and fields, our friends ALWAYS wanted to come and stay and we had loads of pets.

There are wrong crowds in the country too. Some rural communities have high levels of drug abuse and social problems. On a par with urban areas in some cases. Drug gangs started targeting the countryside to maximise profits.

The West Country smokes more cannabis than anywhere in the U.K.

It's OK when the kids are little, less so when they're teenagers.

I think you've misunderstood me @Youngandfree. Jesus Christ!!!her problems were because of her dysfunctional family not because of living in the country

I don't see how her family were disfunctional at all. They were just isolated. They lived at least 3 miles from the nearest neighbour. Proper dirt track to get to the house which was off a windy country road. We were the closest of her friends at about 6 miles away. We don't live in a city, we live in a village of about 300 (that mum called an estate as if neighbours were the worst ever!)

The girl was bored, isolated and acting out. If she didn't come to us (collected or delivered by dad) she went nowhere and only had her younger brothers or the Internet for company.

I've seen way too many horror films to live that remotely so it's a firm no from me. I definitely wouldn't move somewhere that gave me or my partner the creeps.

I like the idea of village life in 10 years or so but no more remote than that.

I think if your dp gets the creeps then its not the right place. Remote is fine by me but not if one of you is creeped out already!

My friends who live this rurally have been burgled twice in two years while they've been on holiday. Now they arrange a house sitter.

Well my children live three miles from any friends and they still get to do sleepovers, playdates, have people over, maintain a social life. I entirely accept that I will have to drive them to places and I do so.

On the other hand, they get to have dens, streams to play in, gardens to plant, extremely interesting pets, trees to climb and SO much freedom of movement in some ways. I cared about beautiful surroundings when I was a child, my kids appreciate where we live too. As teenagers we realise that they are going to suffer a bit due to have to being driven everywhere, but we are prepared to do this.

My kids haven't asked to be taken into care yet

@LuYu post further up is very good sensible advice and tips.

It would be my DH idea of bliss. He's very anti social! I'm more extrovert, like to see people on a walk with the dog and was much more used to town living. We had to move not long before DS came along and compromised on a nice village - easy access to countryside for him and a shop, doctors, chemist, post office for me. Then a small friendly school for DS as he got older. I couldn't be bothered with living somewhere where I had to drive for absolutely everything it would do my nut in. Neighbours are close by but we are detached and honestly don't hear a thing from anyone anyway. Works ok for us!

I’d hate the inconvenience of it. We do go on holiday to some quite isolated holiday cottages and although I enjoy it I also get a bit creeped out sometimes especially at night when it’s windy!

It's not properly rural if there's a town with a swimming pool within easy driving distance...

You may live rurally if....

1. You can walk around your garden naked and no one sees you.
2. Street lights annoy you
3. 3 day power cuts are normal
4. If you get guests you ask what network their phone is on because it depends on where they should leave it.
5. You know how to use jump leads
6. You can smell the difference between a fox track and a badger.
7. Cities are creepy

I don't fulfill your criteria Backwoodsgirl as I can drive to a swimming pool in twenty minutes but I DO find cities creepy and I hate street lights.

I get a real sense of peace when I leave street lights behind and being out at night in a city REALLY makes me nervous, it is the direct opposite to those who get creeped out by solitude at night.

3. 3 day power cuts are normal

Visitors often ask me if I collect oil lamps. I don't, they were bought for the power cuts before I got the generator sorted.

I realised that my six year old was a country child (we left London when he was a small baby) when we were in London a couple of months ago and came up out of the tube at Kings Cross after dark, and he was transfixed and said ‘Mummy, what are all these people doing walking around at night time???’

It's not properly rural if there's a town with a swimming pool within easy driving distance...

I have a forest behind me, a farm across the road, a lake, cows on one side, horses on the other, tractors pass nearly hourly, no street lights,I stop to let cars pass on several parts of my road. However... in 8 mins i can be in a small town and in 12 mins I can be in a city. There’s no doubt I live rurally. But I just have access to everything else within a 10 min drive 🤷‍♀️