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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think living this rurally would be creepy?

234 replies

Blewbird · 06/04/2019 21:40

We went to see a plot of land today with the potential to build a house. Absolutely beautiful land BUT you can't see another house. It's a "no one would hear you scream scenario." We have young DC and DH often travels. We have always lived in urban areas. Would this be bizarre or do you get used to it?

OP posts:
PurpleFlower1983 · 07/04/2019 02:48

I would be shit scared but I’m sure lots of people would love it!

Madwithjealousy · 07/04/2019 02:56

Not for me. I’d never relax.

Backwoodsgirl · 07/04/2019 03:28

@FraAngelico yes skunks can be a ass pain, however walking out the door and finding a bear on the deck is always a fun way to start the day!

Backwoodsgirl · 07/04/2019 03:31

@Shmoople, @CurlyhairedAssassin

No shops, we lived off food we grew and hunted. Going to town after that made me nervous, I couldn’t wait to get back to the woods.

MintGreen · 07/04/2019 03:44

My best friend just bought a house like this. Nearest house is 1km away, nearest village shop 6km, nearest town 15km, no mains electricity. It's stunningly beautiful but I would absolutely loathe to live there. They are giddy with delight at being so remote (they do have a big dog). To each their own I suppose.

Hellokittymania · 07/04/2019 04:16

I am visually impaired, so would not do this for many reasons. But not to mention, I watch that movie hush a while ago, and that might be one of them . It was a movie about a girl who was living alone and she was attacked. She was deaf and the neighbor was killed first by the attacker and the girl was screaming for help and the deaf girl didn't hear it. And then she was attacked. So no way.

notsohappyvalley · 07/04/2019 04:28

We have done it. Hated it.

Was a PITA on a school day because it meant we had to send D.C. to school miles away because the one in the local village didn’t have a breakfast club. DH had to leave the house with them at 7am for 7.30 drop off and they wouldn’t be home until 6. Also a PITA when they had swimming lessons, scouts etc as again local town was half hour drive away.

Absolute ball ache in the winter when it snowed- we lasted one winter with our normal everyday hatchbacks and had to sell them and get a sizeable loan to buy two 4x4s which honestly I hated driving but it was necessary in the winter as even without snow the roads were like an ice rink.

We soon moved when our DS had an accident and it took an ambulance nearly an hour to get to us.

TheLazyDuchess · 07/04/2019 04:32

I was so tired earlier, and ds isn't here, so I fell asleep about 5, awake now and can't get back to sleep. I don't mind living with just ds/alone at the weekends, but it's nice to to know my neighbours are there (and lots of them, as the streets around here are mainly terraced). If I literally couldn't even see another house, it would freak me out, and I'd feel really on edge at times like this (wide awake and alone, in the middle of the night).

Also DS is at that age now (8) were he wants to call for his friends, and play out, weather permitting. If the nearest other kids lived half a mile away or more, he couldn't do for another few years. I wouldn't even feel right letting him play alone in the garden, if there was only me to hear him scream, that would make me feel quite anxious too, (letting him out of my sight).

notsohappyvalley · 07/04/2019 04:41

It does depend though- one of my best friends (have known her since we went to primary school together) used to live rurually when we were growing up, swore blind she would leave home as soon as she could because she hated it (I can remember many a time her arguing with her parents to move elsewhere because she missed out on so much) did so and moved home 18 months later because she missed it so much and still lives in her childhood home (her parents have since moved to the local town). Her eldest hates it too but she reckons he will be the same, move out and want to move back.

I think the only members of my family who regrets the move is our dog because he can no longer roam outside all day!

It’s great for a break to get away (like when I go and stay with my friend 3/4 times a year) but permanently? Not a chance in hell I would go back- kids school is a 5 minute walk away, both me and DH are at work in under half hour instead of a hour and it is just so much more convenient.

Plus despite having a higher mortgage we are actually saving money by not spending as much on fuel (we both have smaller cars again now), car payments and gas and electric bills.

MountainPeakGeek · 07/04/2019 04:46

It's really not creepy. We lived 15 minutes drive from the nearest village/store for 10 years, when ds1 and ds2 were little, but as previous posters have mentioned, it's the driving that became an absolute nightmare. Once the kids were older and they had more of a social life and after school commitments, that 30 minutes round trip would sometimes have to happen 3 or 4 times in the one day. We moved into the village and I do miss the solitude, but it's bliss to be able to walk places instead of being forced to use the car so much.

twoheaped · 07/04/2019 04:55

We live in a house like this. Nothing coukd persuade me to move back to suburbia.
Love it.
Only didconcerting thing is when you're sunbathing, just about nodding off and a cow coughs. They sound remarkably human Grin

Sarcelle · 07/04/2019 05:36

Just come back from holiday and stayed somewhere with nobody around. Bliss. Did not want to come back.

floribunda18 · 07/04/2019 05:43

I live in a village but the convenience store is still 10-15 minutes walk away - a bit more than "popping to corner shop" distance.

I wouldn't mind having no houses around but would actually still like to be near a village and public transport. I'd have to have very good security though and a couple of big dogs as the remoteness makes you a target for burglars.

user1480880826 · 07/04/2019 05:44

I was home alone last night and it made me grateful that we don’t live somewhere rural. I would have to buy a guard dog.

LuYu · 07/04/2019 06:39

I think you have to have a really practical, cold-eyed look at the realities of rural living at its best, typical and worst. It's the kind of scenario where the words 'bliss' and 'heavenly' get repeated a lot, but (to me, at least) that's an idealistic view of isolated living, as is the notion that everyone leaves their doors unlocked. That really depends. A lot of my family live in rural areas, and they don't get random opportunistic theft, but they've always had targeted break-ins, both of residential properties and things like workshops, equipment sheds etc. Everything is alarmed and CCTVed. Every property has dogs. It's not Fort Knox, and it's still a beautiful, quiet area, but people take security seriously.

Being isolated is fine if nobody really registers you're there, but it's also a serious vulnerability if you come, for whatever reason, to some dodgy person's attention. Also, if there's a serious accident, you'd better hope someone is able to drive the person to hospital, as in many rural areas ambulance response times are (understandable) abysmal.

On a practical, everyday note, every member of your household will have to drive or be driven everywhere. If you've got proper lanes and there are farms around, your car will spend more time in reverse than any other gear, and your wing mirrors will always be festooned with bits of hedge.

Check the lanes around the property: I grew up in a valley village where field run-off would flood most access lanes after moderate rainfall, and then this often froze in winter, so although we weren't that far from towns, we frequently got stuck. If lanes got gritted in winter, it wasn't by the authorities: prepare to be the last priority for almost every public service.

Not many of my family's places are locatable on sat-nav, so while the thieves may find you, the Yodel driver won't.

In some rural locations you'll be able to walk out your door into beautiful countryside; in others, you'll be surrounded by in-use agricultural land and have to drive if you want to have a picturesque stroll. Also, muck-spreading really stinks, and not in a pleasantly mild barnyardy way.

Everywhere feels really dark after sunset, particularly in winter. Nice stars, but you can get tired of stumbling down potholed lanes holding a wavering torch, ducking bats. I once cycled straight into a freshly-dug trench, even with bicycle lights on.

And YY to whoever said cow coughs sound disconcertingly human! I would also add that on a dark and silent night, the sudden bleat of a sheep sounds very sinister. No: really. It's the stuff of nightmares.

TaMereAPoilDevantPrisu · 07/04/2019 07:22

Yep, not creepy but chances are your kids won't thank you for it when they're of an age to be wanting a bit of independence.

Hiddenaspie1973 · 07/04/2019 07:27

If I had to drive EVERYWHERE then that would be too remote.
I live in a town in a detached house in a row of 3. On one side there is a small green area. Behind, the school field.
Not bad for antisocial me. Plus there's a small, pricey shop in walking distance (although i still have to cycle or drive everywhere).

ContessaIsOnADietDammit · 07/04/2019 07:36

TheSandman what's a FEB, please? Never heard that acronym before!

Wallsbangers · 07/04/2019 07:39

Not creepy but sounds like my idea of hell. Always having to drive everywhere, ferrying the kids round all the time, having to deal with sulky pre-teen/teen when they can't go anywhere by themselves, poor mobile signal/WiFi.

LakieLady · 07/04/2019 07:40

I’d hate this, there’s no where around if you need to get a pint of milk quickly.

That's why people who live rurally tend to have big chest freezers!

All my rural-dwelling friends have a freezer with essentials like milk, bread, packs of meat and loads of frozen veg. Some of them could easily survive for a fortnight if they couldn't get out.

Their biggest worry is the power going down and having to eat it all before it spoils, but a couple of them have generators for power cuts.

I'd absolutely love it. I'd love not to be able to hear anyone else's noise, or be overlooked, and not have to be considerate of my neighbours.

redwoodmazza · 07/04/2019 07:46

Sounds fabulous. A couple of big dogs as a warning system - sorted!

Pk37 · 07/04/2019 07:47

I’d love remote but dh would hate it.
I’d have to have the house like Fort Knox though

ForalltheSaints · 07/04/2019 07:48

I would never consider it, even in the days before the internet and mobile phones. At school we had four children in the sixth form who lived in rural areas, and I heard about the practical difficulties and also the dependence on parents for lifts.

RottnestFerry · 07/04/2019 07:53

poor mobile signal

Our place has no mobile signal. Bliss!

exLtEveDallas · 07/04/2019 08:04

I think it's unfair on children to live without any neighbours or friends around.

DD had a friend who lived really rurally. She'd come and vist a lot, stay all day and quite often a sleepover. They went to the same primary. She constantly moaned about home, she hated it there, she was bored and lonely. She had 2 brothers but didn't get on with them. Only dad drove and he wouldn't take her anywhere in the evenings. The only social life she had was school.

When they were in Y6 she started running away. Sometimes she ended up at ours - a 6 mile, dangerous walk. Parents were frantic, Ch Svcs involved. She always seemed so unhappy. She'd say she hated her brothers and DD used to get messages from her on SM where she'd post that she'd not left her bedroom for the weekend, or the whole week of half term. She was so isolated, but her parents would be "oh we couldn't live on an estate [talking about the village we live in!], it's too noisy"

The last I heard of her she was asking to be taken into care. I can't imagine it got any better as she entered her teens. I felt so sorry for her and she seemed a lovely kid.

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