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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think living this rurally would be creepy?

234 replies

Blewbird · 06/04/2019 21:40

We went to see a plot of land today with the potential to build a house. Absolutely beautiful land BUT you can't see another house. It's a "no one would hear you scream scenario." We have young DC and DH often travels. We have always lived in urban areas. Would this be bizarre or do you get used to it?

OP posts:
TatianaLarina · 06/04/2019 23:19

You need to be:

  • near schools
  • near shops especially supermarkets
  • near neighbours if anything happens when DH’s away
  • near friends
SadOtter · 06/04/2019 23:20

My parents have a little holiday cottage in the middle of nowhere, no street lights for miles, you can't see the nearest house, no mains water (just a well) and no electricity. I love it there but I won't go without my huge dog, he barks the second anyone gets anywhere near so then I know I can safely ignore all the random noises at night, because if hes not barking it is nothing to worry about. He would be no use whatsoever if I actually needed defending by the way, but he does mean I can sleep

JosephineHass · 06/04/2019 23:20

Sounds peacefully to me...😏 No neighbors, no noise, no more neighbour kids hanging over a fence.
Imagine you can ie hoover whether you want- even at midnight and no complaints whatsoever.😁
Get a large guardian dog and you are sorted.🐕

PettyContractor · 06/04/2019 23:22

If it's that far from anywhere it's bound to have slow internet. Complete deal-breaker for me.

IM0GEN · 06/04/2019 23:25

Who would hear your alarm, let alone respond to it? What is you are on holiday - who looks out for you?
What about getting newspapers, milk and emergency supplies? Is it so remote as to get 'snowed in'?

Most remote areas are very safe and you don’t need a burglar alarm. Often people don’t lock the house or cars doors anyway.

Newspapers - do you know you can get your newspaper online ? It’s cheaper and greener.

Fresh milk can be stored in the freezer and you can keep unopemed cartons of UHT milk in the cupboard. Bread can be frozen.

Emergency supplies - you buy them in shops, the same as you do in town. And store in your house.

Not many people on this thread would actually starve to death if they didn’t get to the shops for a week. Most of us have some store cupboard food.

In most parts of the UK you are unlikely to get snowed in for more than a couple of days at a time. We have been snowed in twice for one day in 15 years.

Any inconvenience is so worth it for the peace and quiet, the beauty and safety .

Teddy1970 · 06/04/2019 23:25

Yes, the Savernake forest story was like reading a horror novel, it scared the crap out of me. I'm always looking on Rightmove and everytime I see a house for sale that backs on to a forest I always think of that story..

wasgoingmadinthecountry · 06/04/2019 23:29

You'll regret it because you'll spend so much time in the car. Well I did/do. I crave being able to walk anywhere I can do more than admire the outstanding scenery.

My dh worked away and I had 3 small children. Never had a day without driving. Think carefully!

Also remember country people move at a different pace - may take ages to find people you click with. It's a small pond.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 06/04/2019 23:31

Savernake forest story: found it!

Warning: it's very long (sorry) and very freaky, and if anyone can come up with a rational explanation I'd be extremely grateful because I'm generally a pretty rational non-woo where's-the-evidence person, but I've never been able to explain this and it still makes my heart beat faster and the hair stand up on my arms when I think about it, years later.

I was pet sitting for my friend several years ago. She had moved into a sort of small holding right on the edge of a village in the SW, with a huge garden that backed onto trees. At the time she had a right menagerie - chickens, ducks, a couple of Shetlands, cats and four black retrievers, three fully grown and one a half grown puppy. Originally DH had been going to come with me as a little holiday but the dates she ended up having to go away for work clashed with a couple of his medical appointments so he stayed at home with our dog and I went to petsit alone.

It was about halfway through my stay, a couple of nights to go. Late evening, already dark when I heard a massive commotion from the chicken shed, banging and thumping. I assumed a fox or something had got in so went out to check. As I was halfway across the garden the noise stopped instantly as if it had been shut off; by the time I got to the shed all was calm and the chickens were all settled, mostly asleep. No sign of any intruder or disturbance at all, nothing to explain the noise or any indication that the chickens had made a noise. Bit freaky but I didn't (and still don't) know much about The Way of Chicken so I locked up again and left them to it.

As I went back in the house a small black shape ran past me out of the back door and I realised the puppy must have got out. It streaked across the garden and off towards the woods. Cue much cursing, then calling her name in vain. More cursing when she didn't come back. I grabbed a torch and put one of the other dogs on the lead, partly for protection, partly because I thought the pup was more likely to come back if I had one of her canine companions with me and partly because I didn't fancy my chances of finding my way back to the house on my own even though there were a couple of vague paths that I'd followed when walking the dogs throughout the week.

Off we trudged into the wood along one of these paths, me calling pup's name at intervals and trying not to imagine murderers and rapists behind every tree trunk. We got to a point where it felt like the trees were starting to thin out and I remember thinking that I didn't remember a clearing on this path and we must have gone wrong somewhere when the dog with me slowed right down and started to resist going forward. I tried to jolly her along - while my stomach suddenly dropped like a stone - and she started growling, a really low serious rumbling growl. By this time I was practically shitting myself. I tried shining the torch ahead but the beam just sort of bounced back off the darkness if that makes sense? I got the sense of something - or somethings - moving but just sinuous deeper black shapes against the blackness and always on the periphery of vision. (The hairs on my arms are standing up again just remembering how completely and utterly terrified I was. I have honestly never known a feeling like it.)

At this point the dog sank right down, still growling, hackles up and refused to budge. I muttered something like "Jesus, you have got to be kidding me" and this ugly gurgling inhuman sort of voice hissed, right up close as if someone was right next to me "don't say that name". At the same time there was a horrible snickering sort of laugh. I cant express how utterly petrified I was. I can't remember having any coherent thoughts apart from the word "evil". That's the only clear thing I can remember. Me and the dog were frozen to the spot with pure fear. Then a different voice, really commanding, said "GO. BACK." That sounded more in my head but echoey, where the others had sounded out in the air IYSWIM?

Wherever it came from it did the trick. Me & the dog turned and belted back through the woods. She basically towed me, I just clung onto her lead stumbling to keep up and sobbing with fear. I lost the torch somewhere on that wild run but there was no way I was stopping to find it. How I didn't run blindly into a tree I'll never know, she guided me I guess. I can remember thinking desperately that I mustn't let go of her lead or "they" would get me.

When we got back to the garden she suddenly stopped - I did fall over her this time, onto my hands and knees - turned around and started snarling, proper teeth bared, rabid-looking snarls, back at the trees and the darkness. I thought I heard the snickering again but the blood was pounding in my ears so hard I can't be sure. I scrambled up and ran to the back door and she followed me but backing and snarling all the way as if holding something at bay. Oh, and the chicken shed was banging and thumping again. I got the back door open, me and her belted in, I slammed home every bolt behind us. The other dogs left behind were staring at the door and growling too with their hackles up and when I saw all three of them, puppy included, acting like that I started to cry properly because I honestly thought I was trapped in some horror film nightmare and was going to die. I don't know - I still don't know - what the black shape was that ran past me out of the house and triggered all of this because the puppy was right there in the kitchen.

Anyway I made sure every door and window was locked and bolted, I turned on every light in the house, I wandered round mumbling all sorts of weird half-religious half-spiritual shit to ward off evil spirits. Gradually the dogs settled down and stopped growling, and eventually stopped glancing at the door. Funnily enough I didn't sleep for one second that night and I rang my DH and begged him to come over the last couple of days. I know I didn't dream it because I was covered in scratches from running through the woods and had grazed hands from where I fell over the dog in the garden.

Nothing like that has happened before or since and I hope it never, ever does. It was the single most horrible, terrifying experience of my entire life.

tablelegs · 06/04/2019 23:31

What's the forest story? Non scary version if possible?

FraAngelico · 06/04/2019 23:32

You lot are all terribly nervous! I can’t see any neighbours where we live now, and we back onto a wood, and DH is away quite a lot, leaving me and DS (7) solo (and dogless!) but it’s never occurred to me to be nervous.

I’ve also lived in the middle of nowhere in southwest France, and as a caretaker on an otherwise uninhabited island for a year. The only time I’ve ever actually got out a weapon and felt potentially at risk in my own home was during the London riots of 2011, when DH was away, I was pregnant and they were looting the retail park almost next door to our zone 2 flat!

I agree about the logistical constraints of living very rurally, which need to be thought through, but I don’t quite get the level of terror. Are you all expecting supernatural visitants or burglars?

Stefoscope · 06/04/2019 23:33

Not being able to see another house, but being around a half hours walk away from a shop would be ideal for me. Not sure I'd like it so much if I was on my own often though.

DMdrivingmecrazy · 06/04/2019 23:34

It wouldn't be for me at all, especially having a DH who is away a lot, but having seen on here the kind of disputes people have with their neighbours I can see why others think it sounds perfect!

Ginger1982 · 06/04/2019 23:37

This would freak me out as DH travels too. I've always wanted to live rurally but I think in reality I would be scared. I can't even watch certain news items if I know I'm home alone!

Shmoople · 06/04/2019 23:37

as a caretaker on an otherwise uninhabited island for a year.

That would give me the major wibbles. Uninhabited.......apart from the cannibals that would slither from their underground dens to feast on any hapless humans who wandered onto their island. Or maybe a missing lighthouse keeper, assumed drowned, who roamed the island looking for people to skin and then do taxidermy things with. Or maybe the hungry ghost a Victorian child whose family who starved to death in the Great Whelk Shortage of 1853.

No, no, no to caretaking a deserted island.

Shmoople · 06/04/2019 23:39

Absolutely studiously avoiding that horror post uphread until the morning when I'm munching on some toast and feeling oh so brave Grin

Youngandfree · 06/04/2019 23:41

Yep I forgot to mention my Dh works away for weeks at a time and I have two Dc, but we do have neighbours across the road and school is a 6 minute drive. Although the nearest shop is a 10 min drive.

Backinthebox · 06/04/2019 23:45

@Youngandfree - "My current house backs onto a forest...🤣🤣couldn’t get creepier!!..." Try backing onto a forest with a remote cemetery, complete with victorian chapel in it! On the plus side, we are not so remote that we can't walk to the shop, pub or school. On the down side, we have to walk past the cemetery to get to all of these things. Weirdly, it's never bothered us. I ride my horses past it, and if there was anything to be bothered about, they would probably tell me, and the only thing about the cemetery that upsets them is when they put the wheelie bin with the old flowers out on recycling day Grin. You do get a lot of noises in the forest though, the strangest one is muntjac deer barking.

Youngandfree · 06/04/2019 23:48

@Backinthebox funnily enough I don’t find cemetery’s scary at all! 😂 I find them quite peaceful not a fan of churches (inside) though 😬

Yabbers · 06/04/2019 23:51

I lived rurally for years. Nobody ever needed to hear me scream.

FraAngelico · 06/04/2019 23:54

Schmoople, shall I harrow up your soul even more and my island residence had only intermittent electricity when the generator worked, otherwise I was reliant on battery lamps and candles, and calor gas bottles for cooking, when the boat was able to land to deliver them? And that my house was on the edge of a ruined village? Grin

It was pretty Spartan, but mostly I loved it. And when some ornithologists showed up to do some research for a couple of weeks, and camped a quarter of a mile away, I felt very crowded!

FraAngelico · 06/04/2019 23:56

And yes, muntjac barking sounds most odd if you’re not used to it, and an urban friend who came to stay a while back was petrified at the foxes screaming. We do also have very loud owls.

nutellalove · 06/04/2019 23:56

No I wouldn't like it. I am London born and bred though

Backwoodsgirl · 06/04/2019 23:57

We are in the US about 7ish miles from the next house and 20 miles from a village. I work from home, the longest I have gone without seeing someone outside of the 4of us is 7 months.

I love the remoteness, having to me self sufficient. Plus the wildlife in the back yard is amazing.

RomanyQueen1 · 06/04/2019 23:58

Gosh, I like rural but that would freak me being too quiet.
We will live in the country again, but not while any kids are still at home.
There just aren't the opportunities or life for them, unless you become a taxi.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 07/04/2019 00:00

I don’t find cemeteries creepy either. Peaceful and interesting historically maybe. Sometimes a bit sad when you realise the age of the person who died or the fact that a few children died in the same family.

I think i must have seen too many horror films set in the woods or in other remote locations. American Werewolf in London was my first. Then the Shining. Silence of the Lambs etc etc Clearly scarred me for life! Grin

Seriously, though, there are other reasons I wouldn’t like to be so cut off. In a health emergency distance could mean the difference between someone living or dying. I’m lucky enough to live 10 mins ambulance ride away from a main teaching hospital, a renowned chilsren’s Hospital and a fantastic maternity hospital. You take that sort of thing completely for granted until you go on holiday somewhere rural.

I’ve also holidayed in SW France. It’s beautiful and we have been a few times but when my elderly parents (one of whom had had 2 strokes already)came with us one year it made me VERY conscious that we were not that close to any type of A and E provision.

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