were all human and moments of jealousy and not understanding is completely normal and all human nature but if it's all new to you then the feelings will go away once you start understanding
The first part of this is so true and I’m sure the second part is true for a lot of people.
I personally wouldn’t sign up for this unless I was prepared to sacrifice an awful lot for this man. Everything, or every big, life changing thing, you do will have to involve his dd and, in some ways, his ex. If you decide to get married, you might have to check with the ex that the dd can come to be there with you on the day, if it’s not your scheduled time to have her. If you have children you will have to navigate the minefield of introducing his dd to the baby and making sure there is no jealousy, all while getting used to being a parent.
Yes, it is doable and wonderful for lots of blended families, but is it something you are prepared to do?
It is not the same as starting a relationship with someone who doesn’t have a child and it’s something to consider seriously.
It’s all very well saying “ah they love each other, they have all the time in the world, isn’t it wonderful? blah blah”. But actually, this is potentially something that will make the op’s family life completely different to how she may have imagined it and in a really significant way, which involves people she doesn’t know and who she may not even want in her life, (the ex, the ex’s bf). It’s bad enough having in-laws to contend with sometimes.
This is something I think you need to really be prepared for and telling her she’s being too jealous and to just stop thinking about it is not sound advice at all imo.
Full disclosure; my flakey brother picks up women like it’s going out of fashion. He recently divorced his exw who he has young children with and has a new, lovely, young dp who he now lives with and for various reasons, as much as I love my brother, I think this woman is throwing her life away. So that is on my mind slightly as I read this thread.