To wonder what working parents are meant to do in school holidays?

[StepAwayFromGoogle]

DD1 starts school in September. DP and I both work because we can't afford for either one of us to be off. I have applied for part time but my work have been spectacularly backward and refused point blank, which is a whole other thread. I am looking for another job but work in a very specific field in a very specific industry so it's not looking likely that I'll get something, much less part time.
DD1 school have a before and after school club which is over subscribed so she won't get in for the first year. We have scrabbled around and managed to cover the week with GPs and a childminder.
So on to the holidays. DD1 will have 13 weeks off school a year. Between us, me and DP will have just under 10 weeks holiday. AIBU to think that if the govt wants parents (particularly mothers) to work then there needs to be better holiday provision? I'm not blindingly sure what working parents are expected to do after 3pm every day and for the 13 weeks children are off in the year. At the moment all our holiday days will be spent covering time off school and we won't be able to have a holiday together as a family.

makemineapinacolada you do get that they were probably stuck inside with the PVA glue out doing collage, or using the PE apparatus in the hall or baking or having a story read to them? My Dc has always enjoyed the school club when he's gone, and it's a chance for him to make friends in different age groups.

How poor would the health and/or relationships in your family have to be for all 4 grandparents to be dead, demented or otherwise completely unavailable for childcare when your children are young?

Are you for real? I find this really rude. It's not poor health, its old age! It kills us all do you realise?

My DS has only 1 grandparent alive and she is elderly, sick and disabled. I'm a single parent. I have no family living close.

Hardly any of my friends with children have parents that close to them to help out or their parents are dead.

It’s quite normal to far live away from grandparents also. Are people so freaking dumb that they don’t get that?

@makemineapinacolada - what a odd post! My DT have spent weeks at holiday clubs - with their friends and doing activities which reflect their interests - sport, music, art, science, theatre. They have tried them all, lots of new opportunities and something they looked forward to.

I walked past our school today and couldn't help feel sorry for any kid stuck in holiday club all day.

Please don't feel sorry for my DS. He loves it. Music, Films, arts and crafts, sports hall, football, bouncy castle, games, disco dancing etc

Admittedly I mix up his time there with his childminder and days with me too. I don't think many children spend all their holidays in a holiday club.

My DD is at holiday club today. I could have picked her up by now but she asked to stay till the end because her friends would be there. I really don't think she is miserable, though she might have preferred a sunny day. I will obviously ask he if she enjoyed herself and will report back honestly, but I don't think she missed out on a thrilling day here. Home isn't everyone's idea of heaven, especially for a sociable child. She would probably have had a lot of screen time and stuck the recycling together with glue. We might have managed to squeeze in some homework or baking (MN's proxy for quality of life). Otherwise it would have been pretty dull.

My youngest had a lovely after school club - in fact sometimes they would ask to stay there rather than have our after school nanny at times as they did so many nice things there.

The grandparent issue is probably just a class issue - those of us who left home and cities for univesrity and have children in their 30s have parents in high paid jobs who will work until quite elderly in professional jobs and whose parents would not expect to live near by and do child care are probably different from those who don't have jobs and live near their parents and have children when they are about 20. Neither group is right or wrong - just different.

I'd have hated to spend summers in my school but I'm guessing parents could look for a club at a different school if that's the case

Obviously the quality of clubs and activities will differ dramatically. I'm basing this on what is on offer at the club here - and like I said have used and will continue to use out of necessity.

That’s very true Xenia; I moved away to university, met my future husband, have moved several times for work, and no doubt my own children (now in their 20s) will move to various places during the course of their lifetimes.

acciocat, isn't one of the reasons that fathers don't take up their share of parental leave because men earn more than women, generally, and the family can't afford it? Gender pay gap problem, again.

Snuggy - teachers in Scotland spend Friday afternoons preparing for the week ahead and catching up on admin. Teachers in England have to do all that on Friday night or at the weekend. Teachers in Scotland all work in the evenings, at weekends and during the holidays too, but those extra three or four hours go some way towards reducing the work load. Do you want your child to walk into a well-prepared, organised classroom on Monday morning, with plenty of pre-prepared activities to do? It doesn't happen by magic.

Surely once they are upper primary school age you can leave them at home.
Life for children of working parents in the 70's, they came to no harm.
They are at no more risk than they were then.
Parents had to work and there was no childcare at all.

I imagine most parents would rather teachers admin was cut down. It must be shit having to do all that admin while parents moan that you seem to be doing less work.

Are all of you on holiday this week?

I mean school holidays

How poor would the health and/or relationships in your family have to be for all 4 grandparents to be dead, demented or otherwise completely unavailable for childcare when your children are young?

You are joking right? Surely you can understand that everyone’s lives are different.
Take our family for example:
We have children relatively late - me 32 and DH 43.

My mum died when I was 26. She was only 43. My dad is only in his mid 50s but he works full time!
DHs parents are in their 70s and are in good health but like to travel and have children living all over the world therefore aren’t a regular source of childcare.
So can you see how it’s not as straightforward as you think?

Today 16:12

‘ isn't one of the reasons that fathers don't take up their share of parental leave because men earn more than women, generally, and the family can't afford it? Gender pay gap problem, again.’

Yes, but it’s chicken and egg isn’t it? You’re talking a relatively short period of time: the mother taking perhaps 9 months and the father taking the final 3.... tbh I personally feel the benefits to the child of having that 1:1 with each parent, plus the huge knock on (probably life long) benefit of both parents have a first hand understanding of what it’s like to be the sole carer for an extended period of time... these shouldn’t be underestimated. I would have jumped at the chance to have shared parental leave available. It’s a practical way of actually demonstrating equality. Even if we’d have been financially slightly better off by not transferring some leave to my dh, I would have wanted to do it because as I say I believe the long term benefits outweigh a very temporary financial short fall.

Then again, I’ve heard women IRL and on MN say that no way would they hand over any of their leave to the baby’s father because they see it as their right to have a whole year off.

Like I said, the govt could introduce the most generous policies in the world but if couples don’t take them up then it’s wasted. Having seen some of the comments here it’s clear that if the govt offered affordable holiday care tomorrow, you’d have some mothers walking past feeling desperately sorry for the poor kiddies trapped inside!! And no doubt whining that the govt is ‘forcing’ women to go to work by making it affordable!

highly academic parents who are justifiably anxious about the long term effects of their children spending a lot of time with rather unacademic adults.

Wtf have I just read? Do people really think like this?

Yes its difficult and arguably unfair, but you knew this would happen when you chose to have children so I don't really see why you're deciding to complain now when you knew this situation would arise before

Yes I am. Easter holidays. We obviously have the bank holiday weekend and I have taken a day of leave, as has DH, plus our normal non working days. That leaves a few days to cover with clubs/friends and family.

Are all of you on holiday this week?

Do you mean teachers, Blueskies? I think most schools in Scotland have this week off before Easter.

Solopower1 I didn't phrase it well, I meant are everyone's children off this week, but yes teachers too!

I was surprised to read posts about holiday clubs today, but actually I guess Easter isn't that far away!

Dd's school has two weeks off before the bank holiday weekend. And they finished early on Friday.

That's the thing, acciocat. We're all different. I agree that the government is not going to be able to come up with a one-size-fits-all solution - which is why we need flexibility built in to the system.

Shared parental leave is a start - it's an option, not a requirement. Flexible working hours is something that many companies understand benefits both the employees and the company. Longer school days for older children (but not shorter holidays - they do need their holidays, I think!); better all-round provision for those who choose it. A combination of measures like these can make things so much easier and less stressful for families.

About longer school days, I think I'm correct in saying that children in Britain spend less time at school than in many other countries, so they are, in effect, getting fewer hours' education. I'm not suggesting that they should stay at school until nine or ten at night as they do in China, but an extra hour's independent study every day, especially for older ones would solve a lot of problems.