To wonder what working parents are meant to do in school holidays?

[StepAwayFromGoogle]

DD1 starts school in September. DP and I both work because we can't afford for either one of us to be off. I have applied for part time but my work have been spectacularly backward and refused point blank, which is a whole other thread. I am looking for another job but work in a very specific field in a very specific industry so it's not looking likely that I'll get something, much less part time.
DD1 school have a before and after school club which is over subscribed so she won't get in for the first year. We have scrabbled around and managed to cover the week with GPs and a childminder.
So on to the holidays. DD1 will have 13 weeks off school a year. Between us, me and DP will have just under 10 weeks holiday. AIBU to think that if the govt wants parents (particularly mothers) to work then there needs to be better holiday provision? I'm not blindingly sure what working parents are expected to do after 3pm every day and for the 13 weeks children are off in the year. At the moment all our holiday days will be spent covering time off school and we won't be able to have a holiday together as a family.

www.gov.uk/holiday-entitlement-rights
28 is the statutory minimum for a full time employee. However this can include bank holidays although many add the bank holidays onto this figure.

highly academic parents who are justifiably anxious about the long term effects of their children spending a lot of time with rather unacademic adults.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Omg do people like you actually exist?

This is the snobbiest most judgemental thing I have ever read on here and that's saying something 🙈

Bank holidays count, but do generally fall in school holidays

There’s also parental leave which is unpaid but another legal right

MariaNovella average IQ scores have risen since the 1950s, not fallen.

Whilst the usefulness of IQ scores as genuine measures of pure intelligence is questionable, there is no evidence of average intelligence levels declining.

Abracadabra- I think laughter is the best response to some of the highly judgemental posts on here.

I guess dh and I would fall into the category of highly academic parents as we both have various post grad qualifications and are professionals.

Luckily we never sought to confine our whole circle of social contacts to people who also have a string of post grad qualifications. I’m glad, because our lives are enriched by all the people we know... whether they’ve been to university and are professionals or not.

We also sent our children to state comprehensives where they came into contact with young people of all abilities. Clearly that would shock some posters.

Happy to report that my children are all happy and well adjusted adults now. They did all go to university (their choice) and have successful careers now, which perhaps isn’t too surprising as there is a strong correlation between having professional working parents and working as a professional oneself.

But I certainly don’t judge anyone who chooses any other work path.

OP your last update put it perfectly. Furthermore by some people thinking poor people shouldn't be allowed to have children. Today I am paying £80 to send my children to a holiday camp. I think it's absurd and can't find any cheaper provision for their age group. It is not right.

Whilst the op problem is not unique, she’s right. It’s bloody hard. And the other poster saying you can’t have it all is absolutely bloody right. You can’t.

It’s hard, it’s expensive and it’s difficult. There’s also the guilt of ‘just managing’ holidays.

The other poster saying retirement age getting higher means the next generations won’t be able to do it, is absolutely right. With generation rent (fully paid up flag waving member here). There’s no way I can save enough for rent in my pension. So I won’t be able to do it as much as I might want to.

Nearly47 - I agree that childcare should be more widely available, absolutely. But surely £80 for a full day for more than one child (you mention children) is about par for the course? You’d be paying at least that much (more I would have thought) for all day care for pre- schoolers - and that’s all year round. At least a holiday club is only a relatively small part of the year. And presumably for those on a low income, they’d get subsidies?

I'm a long parent and I cover school holiday as follows:

• childminder
• holiday clubs
• annual leave

I like to mix it up so DS (6) doesn't get bored, so over easter I have 2 days annual leave, he is at holiday club for 3 days and with his childminder for the rest.

By far the hardest holiday is the summer 6 weeks. I really struggle then both financially and with mum guilt!

I think there was some truth in the post that said we have all got too anxious about this. One reason I suspect there aren’t that many affordable clubs that run for long hours is that the take up is poor. My work club threatened closure because people don’t use it that much, they prefer more bespoke provision tailoring to their dc’s interests and which their local friends are attending. I know I am guilty myself of making life harder than it needs to be to give my dd more of a “holiday” experience at different clubs, rather than sending her to the easy option for weeks on end. She doesn’t love every club. Equally she doesn’t always love school, or contributing to chores, or being told to find something to occupy herself while I get on with something, but I don’t agonise about telling her she has to lump it sometimes in these other walks of life. It’s a balance, we do our best and trust it works out ok. I do agree that every council should have a duty to ensure there is basic provision, and employers could do more too (some are great, my dd has gone off with a friend to a free club at her friend’s parent’s work).

I really would recommend trying to find parents in the same boat though. I use the class email list, the woodcraft folk WhatsApp group, the forest school Facebook group and messages to friends basically just saying “I am thinking of sending dd here, does anyone else fancy it and sharing drop offs” and always offer to host a friend when I am off if we have no particular plans, or are going on a local day out. I find these favours are always returned.

In spite of the huge amount we pay for childcare, the actual nursery nurses are often on a basic wage - yet surely there is nothing more important to parents and society in general than the younger generations?

Parents need to pay less. Childcare workers need to be paid more. Where does that leave us? The Government has to do more! Tax payers and childless/free people need to invest in the babies and children who will later work and pay taxes to support us in our old people's homes. That's how it works - at least that's how it should work. The more you put in, the more you get out.

I am more than happy to pay taxes to help look after other people's children so that the parents can continue to pay tax (which also goes towards looking after other people's children and elderly parents).

That's how the world works. Isn't it?

£400 a week for two children. I am lucky we can afford it as a couple. But if I was a single parent that would be impossible on my wages alone. I doubt that the subsidies if they exist would cover 50%

Another problem parents have is that the school only takes 4 and 5-year-olds for half days in their first term, which sometimes means 2 hours - even if they are ready and raring to go. It is fun trying to work round that ...

@solopower1 - you are legally entitled to send them full time from day one. Everyone around me does this as both parents work full time so can have weeks off work for a staggered start.

Yes totally agree about protracted settling! I have lobbying my DC school. They have cut it down to "only" three weeks, hurrah! Am working on nursery now to see if they will hold on to her a bit longer or if she had to finish in Aug. That kind of thing is avoidable stress imo.

@solopower1 I’ve not got children but absolutely agree that surely childfree people should be contributing to childcare. At the end of the day if I never have children or if I do but my children want nothing to do with me in old age then the babies I’m supporting now will be wiping my bum and giving me a bed bath in 70 yrs! I’d rather my taxes be spent on better childcare provision than the shite storm that is Brexit or duck ponds and 2nd houses for MPs. Which of those things are going to benefit me personally?!

Parker 231: Are you sure? I didn't know that. We're in Scotland, by the way, and afaik, that's still how it's done - 'half' days for a term.

And another thing - where my grandchildren live, there's no primary school on Friday afternoons, at all, until high school.

As a result, from the age of 8 or 9, some children walk home alone to an empty house, where, presumably, they have to wait for six hours before their parents get home.

Whole first term! Bloody hell

If school isn't free childcare why does income support end for lone parents when their youngest child turns 5? (Actually this has now been lowered to 3 as that's when free nursery school places kick in) but that's what it was until v recently.

Yes we had that too, when dd1 started. No holiday clubs during term time and in any case you need someone to collect them from school. Nightmare.

Yes children are legally entitled to attend full time from the start of the September term. It would be a huge waste of holiday entitlement to use it all in September and reports have shown there is no benefits for the children.

Parker, interesting that many parents at your DC school insist on their DC starting. I have raised it several times with school and they just say "it's in the interests of the children, thank you for your cooperation". I figured if I insisted I would piss them off and DD would be sitting in an empty classroom with a resentful teacher.

I'm risking the accusation of teacher bashing but the phrase bone idle springs to mind

Thanks for clarifying acciocat yes my hols were 20 plus 8 for bank holidays, I understand now