Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder what working parents are meant to do in school holidays?

839 replies

StepAwayFromGoogle · 06/04/2019 08:13

DD1 starts school in September. DP and I both work because we can't afford for either one of us to be off. I have applied for part time but my work have been spectacularly backward and refused point blank, which is a whole other thread. I am looking for another job but work in a very specific field in a very specific industry so it's not looking likely that I'll get something, much less part time.
DD1 school have a before and after school club which is over subscribed so she won't get in for the first year. We have scrabbled around and managed to cover the week with GPs and a childminder.
So on to the holidays. DD1 will have 13 weeks off school a year. Between us, me and DP will have just under 10 weeks holiday. AIBU to think that if the govt wants parents (particularly mothers) to work then there needs to be better holiday provision? I'm not blindingly sure what working parents are expected to do after 3pm every day and for the 13 weeks children are off in the year. At the moment all our holiday days will be spent covering time off school and we won't be able to have a holiday together as a family.

OP posts:
abracadabraba · 07/04/2019 10:42

*Funny - I thought you must have been joking too, when you said governments were using taxpayers money inappropriately because children are more important than all the things on your list.

Please tell me you were. Actually, don’t. This has become tedious.*

I don't know if you're thick, narrow minded or just really selfish.

You are correct, however, that this has become tedious. 👋🏻

Phineyj · 07/04/2019 10:45

I am not the OP, but you don't have to be resentful to feel annoyed at how poorly the primary education system in this country works with childcare and how this contributes to the gender pay gap. I actually don't think most people realise this before they have their first child, no. Then when it dawns on them that the whole system is crappy they have no option but to make the most of it for 10 years or so, at which point they have little incentive to lobby to change it. I think people should be more angry, not less!

abracadabraba · 07/04/2019 10:46

Exactly @Phineyj 👏🏻 we should be bloody angry!

Phineyj · 07/04/2019 10:54

I am but no-one off Mumsnet cares Confused. And a lot of people (as this thread clearly shows) cannot see the system problem, instead blaming individuals for not planning ahead enough. I am a massive planner and my conclusion was there are too many unknowns to solve it unless you are fortunate enough to have money to throw at it. Which generally involves a decently paid job... and so the circle continues...

Inliverpool1 · 07/04/2019 11:09

Seriously private school works, wrap around care, they are with their friends. When you do all the numbers and the messing around bloody trauma off being pulled from pillar to post you are better off finding a cheap private school and putting them in their from day one

Phineyj · 07/04/2019 11:11

Regarding demand. It's got to be effective demand. So people have got to be willing and able to pay. If the latter doesn't apply, there isn't a market or there is a market with high prices due to low volume. So if the price is too high (including time and search costs) and there is no or little subsidy (plus a big dollop of information failure), you have market failure.

Phineyj · 07/04/2019 11:14

That was what we decided in Liverpool, although I worked out it would have been cheaper to move, although we wouldn't have broken even till year 5. But it can't be a solution for most people. The up front costs are too high. And anyway we're in the SE where there are no cheap private schools. Or anything!!!

Sitdownstandup · 07/04/2019 11:20

I am not the OP, but you don't have to be resentful to feel annoyed at how poorly the primary education system in this country works with childcare and how this contributes to the gender pay gap. I actually don't think most people realise this before they have their first child, no.

Very true phineyj.

stophavinkidsthen · 07/04/2019 11:23

You are been U, you choose to have kids it’s your problem not the governments.

mumsneedwine · 07/04/2019 11:26

I got 6 weeks maternity pay, 6 months maternity leave and no help with childcare. My kids are late teens so not that long ago but I look at what parents get now with envy. We planned ahead and saved as much as we could and waited til we could afford kids before trying. We knew there was no help so maybe was easier to know it was fully down to us. I gave up a good career as had a long commute and wanted to be a full time mum and we were broke for many many years. Our car actually fell apart. I'm not sure how school holidays are a shock to anyone - you all had them !! Surely you knew you'd need childcare for them ?

Inliverpool1 · 07/04/2019 11:29

Late teens ? And you’re envious are you having a laugh ? It was £300 maximum childcare allowance in 2002 that hasn’t changed in 17 years

abracadabraba · 07/04/2019 11:35

The two predominant type of people on this thread-

The I'm alright Jacks

The Martyrs

SnuggyBuggy · 07/04/2019 11:37

@abracadabra nailed it Grin

drspouse · 07/04/2019 11:39

OP the four weeks buyback exists. Other posters have pointed it out, it's called Parental Leave.

msjessica · 07/04/2019 11:44

Lone parent - 5 weeks holiday a year plus bank holidays
Childminder does pick up and drop off every day term time.
Usually take 2 -3 weeks in summer, 1 at Easter. Few days off at each half term. Grandma can do odd days in the holidays, holiday club the rest.
Like everyone else who works!
It is what it is.
Can you purchase extra leave? I do sometimes. Also swap with other parents. You will have to take separate holidays with your partner.

blueskiesovertheforest · 07/04/2019 11:45

There are some deeply unpleasant people showing their ignorance and lack of reading comprehension on this thread.

The OP isn't complaining about the price of holiday childcare or asking nasty "I'm alright (for now) Jack" types to subsidise her.

She wants to pay for childcare, she's complaining that there's none available to pay for.

It's fairly unlikely alsohuman is or will ultimately be actually a net lifetime contributor to society. His "simple" sum only includes direct financial benefits paid to him, and is incorrect for that reason. Everyone benefits from the infrastructure that taxes pay for, from roads and bridges to the police and civil services to education (their own not their children's) to the armed forces and nuclear defence.

Pensioners claiming to be net contributors have probably not thought through everything they indirectly benefit from, and everything they might use in the future when they develop an expensive chronic illness...

People who bang on about being higher rate tax payers are unlikely to have been so all their lives, and probably only paid higher rate tax on a tiny bit of income for substantial periods. The poorest people actually usually pay a higher proportion of their total income in taxes because indirect taxes are a bigger percentage of a very low income.

People claiming that those having children now have it easy forget that we had free university education, those who are pensioners now and went to university had full non means tested maintenance grants, 20 years ago you could buy a house on one average income in an area which actually had jobs, enabling one parent to stay at home.

As others say a functional society in which women are not systemically discriminated against should be of concern to everyone, including those of us who don't need to use childcare (or dementia or cancer care or mental health services, or public transport or motorways or a host of other things paid for or subsidised by taxes).

I hope that the empathy bypasses that several posters on here have had weren't done on the NHS.

isabellerossignol · 07/04/2019 11:53

I'm always a bit bemused by the 'doesn't everyone plan ahead when they have children?' posts. A substantial number of pregnancies are unplanned.

abracadabraba · 07/04/2019 11:57

I'm always a bit bemused by the 'doesn't everyone plan ahead when they have children?' posts. A substantial number of pregnancies are unplanned.

And even if they aren't it's completely impossible to plan five years ahead. When my first DC was born the local primary school did a breakfast club. Financial cuts saw that disappear a year ago.

This planning type comments are bandied about regularly on MN just so that people can sit and feel smug at another's misfortune.

Alsohuman · 07/04/2019 12:00

I think it’s very likely that I’ll put in more than I take out over my lifetime @Blueskies but don’t let that rain on your parade. Incidentally I’m not a him.

Eustasiavye · 07/04/2019 12:01

I think the crux of the issue is it disproportionately effects women.
So it doesn't matter.
More women, if in a relationship, need to make their oh shoulder more childcare responsibility.
I see it all the time at work, professional women taking time off work to deal with children and relatives, even in laws. There is always an excuse as to why the man isn't shouldering the responsibilty.
I'm talking here about degree level professions too.
Not low income careers.

Ginseng1 · 07/04/2019 12:01

In Ireland holidays even longer! 9 weeks in summer. The 'solution' is if in a couple one partner either sahm or more flexible / part time with leave, holiday clubs/camps, parental leave/term time (if civil service) thrown in. If u really lucky you might have grandparents to help. Two people working full time with little flexibility best option to keep kids happy (who don't want to doing 9 weeks of holiday club) might be an aupair. There are options but it's a juggle.

thatsnotmynewusername · 07/04/2019 12:02

I'm always a bit bemused by the 'doesn't everyone plan ahead when they have children?' posts. A substantial number of pregnancies are unplanned.
Cicumstances and income is also subject to change too
Although lots of MN seem to be able to financially plan for every and any given circumstances and got enough saved for school fees, school uniform and all childcare for at least the first 10 years before TtC

Ginseng1 · 07/04/2019 12:05

Also I don't expect govt to provide holiday care! What I'd like is more companies to be more open to flexibility / part time / term time type options for ALL parents.

Inliverpool1 · 07/04/2019 12:09

Going against the grain here but actually I do expect government help with school holidays. What actually are the point of school holidays ? Mine havent been out to do a harvest like ever so why shouldn’t they be in school ?

Eustasiavye · 07/04/2019 12:11

Op
Could you maybe ask the school if any of the support staff would be willing to look after your dc. Obviously you would have to pay them but there might be a beneficial need there.
Obviously I have no idea if this is doable but that would be a very reliable option and both parties know each other.
Or maybe ask other parents if they are willing to do a type of child care Rota where you take it in turns to look after each others dc.
Planning days out to make it more enjoyable and parents supplying money to pay for their child's activities.