To wonder what working parents are meant to do in school holidays?

[StepAwayFromGoogle]

DD1 starts school in September. DP and I both work because we can't afford for either one of us to be off. I have applied for part time but my work have been spectacularly backward and refused point blank, which is a whole other thread. I am looking for another job but work in a very specific field in a very specific industry so it's not looking likely that I'll get something, much less part time.
DD1 school have a before and after school club which is over subscribed so she won't get in for the first year. We have scrabbled around and managed to cover the week with GPs and a childminder.
So on to the holidays. DD1 will have 13 weeks off school a year. Between us, me and DP will have just under 10 weeks holiday. AIBU to think that if the govt wants parents (particularly mothers) to work then there needs to be better holiday provision? I'm not blindingly sure what working parents are expected to do after 3pm every day and for the 13 weeks children are off in the year. At the moment all our holiday days will be spent covering time off school and we won't be able to have a holiday together as a family.

Ziggie- I agree it’s not helpful when posters smugly say ‘well it was ok for me because ....’

However I do think it can be helpful to have a balance of sympathy, practical suggestions and people recounting their own experiences and agreeing that yes it’s tough but you know what- there are solutions. Having children and having to sort out reliable good quality care is a time of vulnerability for many parents and it can be really helpful just to know that others have gone before you and had to navigate their way through.

Just as an example: when I had my dd1, back in the days before there weren’t many childcare options at all, I remember having a full on panic at about 6 months pregnant thinking ‘shit. In another 6 months time I’m going to have had a baby and be back at work. How the fuck do I organise all that?’
A good friend of mine who was the first among our ‘set’ to give birth, came round, found the phone number to ring at the local council to get a list of child minders (nothing so easy as going online then!) and basically gave me a positive ‘can do’ talking to, reassuring me that yes it would be hard work, yes I’d be knackered, but that it was quite doable to return to work with a 3 month old- after all she’d been there done that.

So actually while smugness is unpleasant, it can really be very helpful for people to give their own experiences and generate positively.

And of course sometimes you get those posters (not this OP but others) who don’t actually want solutions; they want to come on and moan and have everyone else validate their gripe. They want everyone else to say oh poor you, of course you can’t possibly go out to work. Or even worse you get those posters who start a thread similarly to this as a ‘way in’ to that boring old whine about schools only being open 9-3 and how teachers ought to be looking after their little darlings 12 hours a day for free.

(Once again, not including the OP in those sorts of posts but they do crop up with depressing regularity.)

Hopefully the practical advice on here will help the OP find a way forward. It is hard, it is expensive but ultimately there is more availability and help with childcare now than at any time past, so the OP should be able to find a solution.

What part time hours did your employer refuse? Would it be more likely they would normal hours but term time only. (the salary is then usually worked out based on hours worked, but split up over the year).

I was lucky, as soon as DS started school I applied to work term time only (Civil Service) I worked flexi time during term time & only worked 18 hours over 3 days which meant I could do drop offs & pick ups. I sometimes worked an extra day during term time for extra flexi hours off which I used for inset days or school events.

As most have said, juggling days off and holiday clubs are the answer.

My mum used to help but is now unable to for a whole day. My sister has DS a couple of days and takes him somewhere nice but that's not something I rely on as she's a busy woman.

I sometimes have a friend's child and they reciprocate but these are exceptions rather than anything I bank on.

You’re lucky you’re able to return to work. With childcare costs I would be taking home -£300 a month if I had returned to work, going up to -£900 in the school holidays each week. You will have to juggle your time off, find a babysitting service or a childminder or try holiday clubs/sports clubs that are in your area.

When they reach 12 all but a few clubs and courses evaporate. It is very tricky unless you want to leave a 12 year old home alone.

We used the ymca holiday club when ours where that age. Once they reached 8 we used the council one or civil service scheme (which we aren't but they sell on spare places)

@Talkingfrog - work refused 7:30am-2pm two days a week and 7:30am-4pm three days a week. They want me to be doing 40 hours a week.

@ToffeePennie

How many children do you have that it would be £900 a week child care cost?

Perhaps pair up with another family in similar situation and suggest one break you watch their kid along with yours and the next they do for you? This works well if you dc has a friend you could ask the parents of. Or some holiday camps that aren’t too expensive.

We are in the same position OP and our plan is to use unpaid parental leave. It's basically the equivalent of being able to biy back holiday from your employer which is one of the things you suggested in an earlier post.

Although there is a financial hit, compared to paying for 51 weeks a year of nursery we are still going to feel much richer overall.

To be honest I don't think having all parents working all hours is the best way forward, I'd prefer more policies to allow parents (BOTH parents, not just mothers) to work part time, flexibly, have time off etc.

Would this help OP? Could you appeal?

m.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=1616

It’s a link to Acas website for family flexible working

I have two children. My youngest isn’t 2 yet so in my area I’d pay a premium, it’s £55 for 9:30-3, then £10 per 15 mins after at a nursery. All the childminders are booked up. It’s £40 per day for my oldest, so just for 9:30-3 is going to cost £475 per week. Then there’s £20 per child per week for food (no option to bring your own food in) so £515. £10 per 30 mins after and £10 per 30 mins prior. So if I leave for work at 8:30 and get back at 4pm that’s an extra 2 hours which totals £40 per day per child. So a total of £400.
You can easily see that the figures total over 1k a week. My wages weren’t even 1k a month!
And this isn’t using a premium nursery or anything, that’s using the only nursery with any avaliablity in the next 12 months in my area. I am aware it could be cheaper if I were to use a different nursery/childminder but there is no other availability currently.
Yeah I had to give up work.

I’m not in the least privileged. I’m a tax paying pensioner who’s already paying for free school meals and subsidised pre school childcare - neither of which were were available to me. Are you seriously suggesting people in my position should pay for your school holiday childcare as well, OP?

Why not? You're currently contributing towards the 80,000 pounds a year they spend on champers in the House of Lords? Or how about the fact you contribute towards the 2 billion pounds it costs to maintain a nuclear weapon that is basically an ornamental dick swinging exercise?

We manage but so many of the holiday clubs are awful hours! We need 7.30-6pm which is what the school wraparound is (and my youngest a nursery). Then holiday time the club is 10-3 and we really struggle to find one that is the hours we need. We mainly just use all our holiday splitting days up.

It’s hard for working parents but hell for commuting ones.

For me fortunately it’s not the cost, we already pay a high price for term time wrap around care. It’s finding something that covers those same hours in the holidays!

Get a job that allows both of you to work from home a couple of days a week. Then the extra day pay for a club etc

Because I don’t want to @abracadabra. It would inevitably involve a tax increase, if I’m going to pay more tax I want it spent on the NHS or social care not more subsidies for two income households.

The problem with the "school is not childcare" argument is that childcare is structured around school.

The nursery years are simple but dear, provision from 7:30/8am to 6pm virtually every day except bank holidays.

The school years are messy. Wrap around, sports clubs, holiday clubs are often short days not compatible with conventional working hours. There isn't long term stable places. Each holiday is scratting around working out avaliabilty.

Working parents are often isolated, living away from family and support networks. If you're working full time, you don't cross paths with other working parents to build up a support network. There isn't the slack to return favours even if you did.

I was surprised at the gear change between nursery and school and I had the benefit of being a teacher so only needing a few holiday club sessions to cover the extra working through the holiday that couldn't be accommodated by getting up at the crack of dawn before the DCs.

You work in a low paid job you're over qualified for that has super flexible hours for 14 years until your kids are old enough to stay home alone.

Other than that, not a clue.

The only reason we have such massively long summer holidays is so that all hands are available to bring in the harvest...totally relevant in 2019 of course.

Yep. Its a pain in the behind. I get that we are responsible for our children but if we want future nurses, teachers scientists etc then we have to factor in that parents (esp those on low incomes) need help with childcare. You have my sympathy.

Because I don’t want to @abracadabra. It would inevitably involve a tax increase, if I’m going to pay more tax I want it spent on the NHS or social care not more subsidies for two income households.

Bizarre. Also you clearly can't read. Not more tax, diverting existing tax away from less important things.

Because I don’t want to @abracadabra. It would inevitably involve a tax increase, if I’m going to pay more tax I want it spent on the NHS or social care not more subsidies for two income households.

Not really how it works though is it? You don't get to choose how your tax is spent. There are lots of things I'd rather not pay towards but there you are.

Who decides what are the “less important things”?

(I did ask upthread but never got a reply).