To wonder what working parents are meant to do in school holidays?

[StepAwayFromGoogle]

DD1 starts school in September. DP and I both work because we can't afford for either one of us to be off. I have applied for part time but my work have been spectacularly backward and refused point blank, which is a whole other thread. I am looking for another job but work in a very specific field in a very specific industry so it's not looking likely that I'll get something, much less part time.
DD1 school have a before and after school club which is over subscribed so she won't get in for the first year. We have scrabbled around and managed to cover the week with GPs and a childminder.
So on to the holidays. DD1 will have 13 weeks off school a year. Between us, me and DP will have just under 10 weeks holiday. AIBU to think that if the govt wants parents (particularly mothers) to work then there needs to be better holiday provision? I'm not blindingly sure what working parents are expected to do after 3pm every day and for the 13 weeks children are off in the year. At the moment all our holiday days will be spent covering time off school and we won't be able to have a holiday together as a family.

Don'f forget to add in the 5 inset days as well

It's really hard. DH and I both work full-time too, and it's really tricky juggling the holidays and work. We purposely just have one DC, which makes things a little easier for us. We usually cover the school holidays by me taking a few days, DH taking a few days, GPs doing odd days (but they are not local and not capable of any long periods - it really is the very odd day). DH does a lot of holiday clubs. Thankfully he loves going and there are 3 very good options near us. They are not cheap (on average £35-£39 per day), but he mixes with others, sees his friends and is active and entertained all day. Therefore each holiday I try to do a mix of me, DH, sometimes GPs and clubs. I have a spreadsheet with all the dates we have to cover. Watch out for inset days too!

Today 13:01 callymarch

Don'f forget to add in the 5 inset days as well

BINGO

Buzzbobbly, the biscuits are, as far as I'm concerned, because children are not items or possessions. They are members of human society who, due to their developmental stage, require care and supervision.

At present government policy in the UK at least seems to be based on the assumption that the financial and practical burden of ensuring the welfare of these dependent members of society is solely the responsibility of their parents and in particular their mothers while simultaneously requiring that said parents engage in economic activity (work) to a degree that prevents them from being physically present to undertake the practical aspects of this care themselves while providing little in the way of ensuring that the necessary care of said society members takes place.

It is hard, my kids go to after school club now but I didn't realise they had long waiting list so it was 2.5 years before my eldest daughter got a place after she started school. I tell e dry or in my area with new babies to go on the waiting list, I wish someone had told me!

Until then I used a childminder which was a lot more expensive but was fine, the childminder would take them during the holidays.

You know what's ironic? Whenever anyone on MN posts that their benefits aren't enough for their children, posters say they shouldn't have had them if they can't afford them. I've posted that both me and my DP are working (thus paying for our own children) but that childcare provision is woefully inadequate to continue to support them, I'm told I shouldn't have had children. Are we saying that only the super rich should be allowed the luxury of having children?

And we don't have a spare bedroom (3 bed house, 2 of us, 2 DC) so au pair is not an option.

I didn't work full time as there was no after school club facility and not enough childminders. Once after school club opened I went full time. Never did I blame the government for the situation. The government has responsibilities for providing healthcare and education, not childcare. Parents use what's available and have to adapt to work things for them. Parents seem desperate to get out of paying for childcare at every opportunity, which I find odd as it's an expected cost when you have children.

Are we saying that only the super rich should be allowed the luxury of having children?

No, we are saying that people should think about childcare options, their working hours and flexibility and their financial situation before they have children, and then do what is possible for them.

Moraxella, completely agree with your post. Shift working adds another layer to it all. I’m a HCP. I am one of those who would also be hated by the Daily Mail for going (very) part time and wasting taxpayers money. In addition to this I moved away from truly front line stuff as I couldn’t balance this with a shift working front line DH. Would be amazing to find an overnight nursery!

For the umpteenth time I'm NOT saying that childcare should be free. I'm willing and able to pay for it. What I'm saying is that you can't simultaneously have a policy of encouraging parents to work whilst at the same time not ensuring that there is adequate (PAID) provision for them to do that.

@Slowknitter - don't be obtuse. When you have children you don't know what your childcare options will be four or five years later when they go to school. I'd have to have been psychic.

We have four kids - we worked around each other when they were young, used childminders, holiday clubs, took just one week annual leave together for a family holiday and took the rest separately. We were lucky to have some help from grandparents when they were very young.

Childminder sounds the best option OP. They can offer the greatest flexibility. I have a friend who lives in a rural area who even paid to get her child taxied from school to a cm in a neighbouring town because there weren’t any registered cm in her immediate locality who did pick up at the village school. Luckily she only had to do that for the first year and then made other arrangements. It’s tough but there will be solutions- and as I said before, you’re used to paying a High price for nursery care so you may just need to throw more money at this than you’d ideally like for the moment. But there will be a solution

I'm annoyed that the airlines seem to have done away with Unaccompanied Minor flights, we have our grandchild but it means that her mother needs to bring her! We love having her for the Summer (and Easter).

When you have children you don't know what your childcare options will be four or five years later when they go to school. I'd have to have been psychic.

I suppose. But surely essentially, you check out the usual cost of childminders and nurseries in your area and check whether you'd be earning enough to make that worth it. If there turns out to be after school club at your dc's future school, local holiday clubs etc and help available from grandparents etc, then great. Otherwise you choose a childminder/nursery.

Loiswilkerson1 In term time it can be hectic, teaching and doing the parenting, but it is doable. I did a lot of work after ds was in bed..so he was in bed by 2000/2030, and I would work til midnight. Having holidays and half terms with him was the upside, and childcare was then manageable.

It worked for me at a time when dh was serving abroad and meant I could juggle everything.

You know what's ironic? Whenever anyone on MN posts that their benefits aren't enough for their children, posters say they shouldn't have had them if they can't afford them. I've posted that both me and my DP are working (thus paying for our own children) but that childcare provision is woefully inadequate to continue to support them, I'm told I shouldn't have had children. Are we saying that only the super rich should be allowed the luxury of having children?
And that often, if anyone says they're a SAHM of school age kids they are often asked why they aren't working or urged to work because they will be financially vulnerable. But childcare is a big expenditure. In previous years I've spent more on holiday clubs than the cost of our summer holiday, and i don't even work full time! A SAHM commented last week that i was lucky that we weren't going away for easter as i wouldnt have the stress of packing and jet lag!🤨

Not all employers are behind the times. We both work, I work term time (my choice, although I hate that I always feel the need to flag that), and no, I'm not a teacher. For me it removes the stress of having to plan what to do with them, and I get regular time off and we actually have a lot of fun together. I can't wait until -I- the kids break up next week.

What do you do for childcare now as I'm assuming you both worked but your dd wasn't at school?

@Slowknitter - have you RTFT? We can afford it. We did research - there is a before and after school club. Came as a bit of a shock that we couldn't actually use it. So then we were looking at childminders or local nurseries who were all booked up.

@ineedtostopbeingsolazy - At the moment I'm just about to go back to work after having DD2. Both children will be in nursery three days a week and with each set of GPs the other two. What threw us was learning that there was an out of school club but we wouldn't get it. And then the realisation that DDs holidays were more than me and DP get in a year between us...

Slightly off tangent op, but whilst you're debating what best to do, I might as well tell you straight....
My own experience, 2 dds 8&10, is that on top of the 13 weeks, I have needed about a further 4 weeks annually to cover illness x 2, snow days (6 the year before last!!), orthodontist, music exams, and at least a few of the events at school put on for parents.

I'm annoyed that the airlines seem to have done away with Unaccompanied Minor flights,

AFAIK Air France still does this for under 12s.

I think one of the big issues with the primary years is lack of information. I think one free thing councils could do is require all state schools to publish wrap around provision (if any), its hours, its cost and the length of any waiting list. Plus the arrangements for reception 'settling in'. Then parents would be able to forsee problems and make arrangements in good time. We were fortunate - because I was on here, know parents of older DC and am a teacher, I wasn't taken by surprise by any of this, but evidently many are
I also think it should be possible to express a preference for a primary that will facilitate the parents' work or childcare and also think primary admissions should happen further in advance. Six months isn't long enough to make major life changes! It's worth remembering the system, crap and expensive as it is, is better than it used to be. In the 1970s my DM had a choice between hire a nanny or stop working. She shut her successful business.

You hire someone. We go with a series of activities, art, writing, archery, etc. our other serious consideration was a nanny which would be easier and a similar cost, but given some geographic issues, we think dd is better served with group activities.