Husband about me working...

[brightnearly]

After a long time at home, I've started a part time job in the charity sector. Only two full days, and currently on a contract that runs out in July.

DH, who to me seemed keen on me working, and who has always worked full time (and whose salary is more than 5 x of mine!), has now objected to me trying to find a permanent part-time position - unless I found one that enabled me to pick up the DC (aged 9 and nearly 11) up at 3 and to not work during the school holidays.

He says he feels strongly about the DC not being left in a childcare setting, and told me that if I accepted a permanent position, he 'would do something'. Quite what he didn't specify, but he said that if I wanted to work full-time, he would resign, so that someone is there for the DC.

AIBU to think 1) He is being hugely dramatic and 2) He is trying to undermine my chances of independence?

He said: "It doesn't matter what you think, this is how I feel!"

Any opinions?

So he wants any prospect of you having a decent career to disappear because you have children!

I would not let my DH control my career and if I got a full time job and he tried to be smart and resign. .. I'd file for divorce. .. then he can just how good he had it.

Thank you all for your responses - !

I also have to say - I really admire teachers and teaching assistants, and I really don't think the job is for me.

And while I'd be home during the school holidays, I would probably still be working on marking/preparation etc...

His dismissal of your thoughts / feelings is one of the saddest things I’ve read on MN.
You absolutely must take this job, your kids are 9 & 11, far from being babies, for goodness sakes they will enjoy sports camps in the holiday. Your eldest will be off to high school soon and becoming independent.
Jobs with the hours which your husband has described are few & far between. He’s trying to stifle your ambition and ‘keep you in your place’.

At 9 and 11 I think I'd continue as you are and accept a paid position of offered. (That's really flattering that they think you're worth it.) Your eldest is almost at that age where they'll be delighted to be left alone for periods of time and your youngest isn't far behind. In 5 years you'll be ready to up it to full time and your kids will really learn / benefit from the independence. My 15 year old sorts himself out completely - even cooks his own meals and has done for a couple of years. Am guessing your dh can sense the status quo is changing and that's making him anxious

I couldn't live with a man who didn't respect my choices, or one who put his wants above my needs.