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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friends wants me to pay towards her hotel room,aibu not too?

314 replies

lisaandpop · 05/04/2019 12:35

Me and two friends and her 14 year old daughter are going to London on Sunday night to see a show.
My friend booked two twin rooms at £80 per room.
I thought great that's £40 each for me and my friend.
My other friend has turned around and said that's around £53.50 each.
I said it's only £40 each for me and my friend as the room is £80
She has said two rooms is £160 so that's £160 shared 3 ways.
Aibu to think this is a bit cheeky?

OP posts:
MyDcAreMarvel · 05/04/2019 14:40

I think you are wrong you would have needed two twin rooms whether the daughter was coming or not. You can’t hsve three adults in a family room. Very mean spirited of you. And for what to save yourself £13!

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 05/04/2019 14:42

I get this with my friend who visits from another city with her son. The bill (food, not hotel) is split down the middle, despite him being a teenager who eats more than the two of us. I don’t have children, so wasn’t sure what the etiquette was, and have always just paid and felt aggrieved. Do not be like me, OP!

QuickThinkOfAName · 05/04/2019 14:44

I would also insist on separate restaurant bills etc too

Otherwise you’ll end up paying for her daughter for everything

God. such a cf. is she always like this op?

billybagpuss · 05/04/2019 14:48

Have you told her yet OP

LightTripper · 05/04/2019 14:49

I agree cheeky. Petrol obviously a bit different as you would have had to spend that anyway even if she wasn't bringing her DD. But show tickets, room and dinner should all be per head not per family group.

Serenity45 · 05/04/2019 14:51

I can't believe the sheer cheek of some people! YANBU to tell her to fuck right off

MidsomerBurgers · 05/04/2019 14:51

She's a CF. Refuse and make sure she knows that everyone is paying for their own food/drinks/transport/tickets etc for the trip as well. Do it before you get there so she can't say she wasn't warned.

woodhill · 05/04/2019 14:52

You may have been able to book something for 3 adults without the dd which would have been a different cost not necessarily 2 twins

Original poster
lisaandpop · 05/04/2019 14:54

@MyDcAreMarvel we could have had 3 adults in a triple room tho.
And £13 is a lot when you haven't got it to waste!

OP posts:
Original poster
lisaandpop · 05/04/2019 14:54

We've told her,no reply yet as she's at work

OP posts:
Comefromaway · 05/04/2019 14:55

Depending on the hotel it is absolutely possible to have 3 adults in a triple room.

But in a hotel like a Premier Inn Family room the set up of 1 double and two pull out beds, the 2nd pull out bed we found was far too small for a 13 year old, the 1st pull out bed was fine and dh slept in it one night when ds was feeling ill.

wonderingsoul · 05/04/2019 14:58

Splitting the room and travel 3 ways is fair imo ok maybe not cheaper for everyone but still makes to cheap.

Maybe it because among my group of friends the other friend wouldn't be able to go if she had to pay the room by her self so we would of split it between the adults. You all need some where to stay and would be the same price of the daughter wasnt there so.

wonderingsoul · 05/04/2019 15:01

Your still getting cheap hotel by paying an extra 12.50 and I would want to upstairs risk the atmosphere digging my heals in

Comefromaway · 05/04/2019 15:02

The OP has said at least twice that the price would not be the same if the daughter wasn't going. If the friend wanted a cheaper trip she should have left her daughter behind.

What show are you going to see OP?

juneau · 05/04/2019 15:04

Her kid, her cost. Full stop.

billybagpuss · 05/04/2019 15:04

Maybe it because among my group of friends the other friend wouldn't be able to go if she had to pay the room by her self so we would of split it between the adults. You all need some where to stay and would be the same price of the daughter wasnt there so

But you don't just assume everyone else will pick up the cost of your DD, if they say before you book it Its ok we'll split the cost just between the adults thats fine but to assume without asking is frankly rude. OP has already said if she didn't come they would have had a triple room with the 3 adults which would have been cheaper

PurpleFlower1983 · 05/04/2019 15:06

Complete CF! Don’t pay for her daughter!

floribunda18 · 05/04/2019 15:06

Nope, between 4, she pays for two.

wonderingsoul · 05/04/2019 15:07

True, it should of been sorted before anything was booked.

I'd still suck it up this once OP and tell her in the future well discus how we are splitting things. It wouldn't be worth ruining what sounds like an amazing day and night out

DeRigueurMortis · 05/04/2019 15:09

Potter i thought the term Crotch Goblin very apt and funny.

You might not be using it on MN but I will!!!

As a pp said, don't get censored by posters who "didn't get it".

It's so obviously not directed at the child, but a really rather apt description of parents who insist others fund their offspring.

I think we could now call them CFGC's Grin

OP - glad you're sticking to your guns.

I've been there re: a long weekend away with another family (they had 4 children, we had 2) who expected to split everything (meals/hotels/entertainment tickets) by household rather than by person. It would have cost us an extra £500....

DH and I just laughed and "pretended" they were joking as it was such a ludicrous idea.

The classic was they said "well that's how we did it with X other friends" and DH retorted "well that explains why they don't socialise with you any more" (we'd noticed the friendship had cooled but didn't know why and didn't pry - but all became clear)...

LegoPeopleEverywhere · 05/04/2019 15:11

She is a CF. Can't wait to see what her reply is! 🍿

DeRigueurMortis · 05/04/2019 15:13

wondering the person ruining it is the friend.

That's how they get away with this rubbish because people don't stand up to them so as not to cause upset.

They don't care about upsetting anyone else though and if a night is ruined it's on them.

If they want to sulk about it fine. In this situation the OP is in a room with another friend and apart from the show they can choose to do their own thing rather than put up with someone whose being a PITA.

clairemcnam · 05/04/2019 15:14

I don't understand parents who think this is fine.

OneDayillSleep · 05/04/2019 15:17

She’s v cheeky! So will everything be split 3 ways so you can sub her daughter? Meal out, tickets for the show... etc, I’ve no idea why she think you’d pay for her daughter?

My husband’s relatives do this on big family meals, he has a couple of cousins who are 16/17 and eat way more than me, yet when the bill comes back the “kids” food is split between everyone, full adult meals, 3 courses!! No idea why we have to pay for someone else’s children (his relative’s (two separate families) who have the kids are very wealthy, so it isn’t that they can’t afford their bill with the addition of 1 meal) us mugs just pay it I guess.

Boysey45 · 05/04/2019 15:28

@OneDayillSleep. You need to tell them this time I'm just paying for myself/ or myself and partner etc. Then theres no confusion.

I don't get stung at meals because I wont put up with this nonsense.

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