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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends wants me to pay towards her hotel room,aibu not too?

314 replies

lisaandpop · 05/04/2019 12:35

Me and two friends and her 14 year old daughter are going to London on Sunday night to see a show.
My friend booked two twin rooms at £80 per room.
I thought great that's £40 each for me and my friend.
My other friend has turned around and said that's around £53.50 each.
I said it's only £40 each for me and my friend as the room is £80
She has said two rooms is £160 so that's £160 shared 3 ways.
Aibu to think this is a bit cheeky?

OP posts:
BrokenWing · 05/04/2019 15:37

I would say no. Petrol fair enough 3 way, but hotel room, or if you are going for a meal then it should be per head. Set the scene now for future trips or you will find you are funding her taking her dd places.

lisaandpop · 05/04/2019 15:37

@Comefromaway going to see Matilda,really looking forward to it,never been to a show in London before.

OP posts:
DarlingNikita · 05/04/2019 15:38

Matilda is brilliant, a triumph. Enjoy it!

Comefromaway · 05/04/2019 15:42

Its a great show. I saw it about 6 years ago.

Ilikethinkingupnewnames · 05/04/2019 15:49

I'm so glad I clicked back to see if there was an update. Crotch goblin is the funniest thing I've heard for ages. Seamen demon is also pretty funny.

Happynow001 · 05/04/2019 15:51
  • Me and my other friend have decided we are only paying for our room That extra £13 will pay for our breakfast.* Good for you OP - that was incredibly cheeky of her. Just stick to your guns and watch she doesn't try and stiff you anywhere else- eg cost of food for her DC.
Smartieshavetheanswer · 05/04/2019 16:02

I LOVED Matilda. The child performers are incredible. You're going to love it OP.

I strongly agree with you £13 buys a lot when you're careful. Hang on to your plan.

dustarr73 · 05/04/2019 16:07

Well at least you know what to expect.So make it clear you're paying for your own stuff.

Dana28 · 05/04/2019 16:08

If there were only twin rooms then I could see her point at a stretch, but if she is aware there were triples available then Yan bu

clairemcnam · 05/04/2019 16:11

Even if there were only twins she is a CF.

EL8888 · 05/04/2019 16:12

Matilda is meant to be excellent, lm sure you will love it. I’m sure you won’t but don’t let her being difficult about money over shadow it

treehugger1 · 05/04/2019 16:24

My brother and me took my dad out to dinner. My brother's wife and two children also came, At the end of the meal, my brother suggested dividing the bill in two. what is it with these people?

Huskylover1 · 05/04/2019 16:28

Everything should be divided by 4.

Are you having dinner before the show? I bet she'll want that split 3 ways too, even though a 14 year old will eat from the adult menu.

Gruzinkerbell1 · 05/04/2019 16:47

CF alert 🚨

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 05/04/2019 16:56

Maybe it because among my group of friends the other friend wouldn't be able to go if she had to pay the room by her self so we would of split it between the adults. You all need some where to stay and would be the same price of the daughter wasnt there so

If the other friends freely OFFER to sub the friend's child, so that the friends can come too, then that's a nice thing.

Otherwise, it may be disappointing, but part of the territory of having children is that you no longer have as much free time, flexibility and spare cash available. Surely this is stinking obvious to everybody?

You also acknowledge that children, being people, will incur costs and, as children don't tend to earn any money themselves, these costs will fall to you as a parent. It's not necessarily a fortune, but most households with children do get child benefit specifically to go towards the costs of children, and a lot also get tax credits.

This is why some people actively decide not to have children, because they want to keep their free time, flexibility and spend all of their money on themselves - and this is 100% a valid life choice to make.

We have a DS, who costs us money - actively and in potential lost earnings. We would be better off financially if we didn't have him. Would we swap him for that extra money and freedom? Absolutely not. This is also a 100% valid life choice to make, and the one that we chose for us.

With costs that will be incurred anyway, such as petrol, it's probably a kind thing to do to discount the child and split it between the adults; however, all personal costs incurred by the child that wouldn't be payable if she weren't there are naturally payable by her or, more realistically, as she probably doesn't earn any money herself, by her parent.

Also, this might be missing the point a little, but as the show is based on a children's book, the chances are that the friend's daughter might get even more enjoyment from it than the adults will.

BlueSkiesLies · 05/04/2019 16:59

Definitely £40.

4 beds 4 people split 4 ways. Mother pays for teenagers share. Cheeky bint!

sollyfromsurrey · 05/04/2019 17:25

Everyone should pay for themselves and their own dependents. The trip is for 4 people. Each of the 4 people pay for themselves. 1 of those people is dependant on another so that person pays for their dependant. You aren't required to subsidise someone else's life.

WoWsers16 · 05/04/2019 17:32

If I was going with my child I would pay for my room and wouldn't consider asking others x

Witchofzog · 05/04/2019 17:43

Has she replied yet op?

ralphfromlordoftheflies · 05/04/2019 17:51

I wonder how much money I have lost over the years by just paying up in situations like this because I can't be bothered arguing about it.

LLOE7 · 05/04/2019 17:51

What a CF!

HJWT · 05/04/2019 18:23

Wow id tell her to piss right of 😂

nutsfornutella · 05/04/2019 18:35

She's cheeky AF. Make sure she knows that she's paying for her DD's food etc

PotterHead1985 · 05/04/2019 18:51

Oooh Matilda that's on my must see list. Let us know how it goes OP?

Noonooyou · 05/04/2019 19:00

I hope she replies soon and definitely stick to your ground. She isn't your responsibility!

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