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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not to give her a lift?

112 replies

thefairyfellersmasterstroke · 04/04/2019 21:40

Or am I being an unhelpful bitch?

We're talking about two teenagers here, both still living at home with parents

DS's girlfriend lives rurally with no public transport, and when they go out she usually takes her car to avoid walking home along a dark deserted country lane. DS doesn't drive.

Tonight they've gone into town and GF has left her car as she wants to have a drink. DS has asked me if I would meet them off the bus when they return, and drive GF home. I asked why her parents can't collect her, but apparently they need to sleep early because they are working tomorrow (so am I!). It would take them barely 10 minutes to do, whereas it will take me about 25.

They will be arriving back around midnight, and although I'm usually awake at this time, I don't especially want to be going out at that time of night to take her home so her parents can get their beauty sleep. But I don't have any excuse not to, I just don't want to and don't feel it's my responsibilty.

Would IBU to suggest she just gets a taxi? I know she has no money and my son would end up paying. What would you do?

OP posts:
TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 04/04/2019 21:42

Why can't she stay and leave in the morning?

sackrifice · 04/04/2019 21:43

If she can't afford a taxi then she shouldn't go out drinking.

Why is your sleep less important than her parents'?

LizzieMacQueen · 04/04/2019 21:45

Why would it take them 10 buy you 25 minutes? Isn't it the same round trip for you both?

CheekyChappy710 · 04/04/2019 21:46

If it's a one off I'd just do it. If it happens a lot then no.

Original poster
thefairyfellersmasterstroke · 04/04/2019 21:46

She doesn't like staying here, it's not good enough for her!

OP posts:
ifoundthebread · 04/04/2019 21:47

If it was a one off then I would just do it, you don't know what's going on in her household - the they need their sleep thing might be a shitty cover story. If you don't want to then just say no, you don't need to give a reason. They are adults and responsibile for getting them selves home.

StealthPolarBear · 04/04/2019 21:47

She doesn't like staying with her boyfriend?!
Something wrong there

FetchezLaVache · 04/04/2019 21:47

I'd give her a lift as a one-off, as she presumably drives your son around a fair bit.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 04/04/2019 21:48

Your house isn't good enough but your car is?

Fuck her off.

Go to bed. Not your circus, not your monkey.

Cherrysoup · 04/04/2019 21:48

She doesn't like staying here, it's not good enough for her!

Seriously?! Fucking hell, tell her to phone her own bloody parents, the rude bitch!

scratchbass · 04/04/2019 21:49

If she's always doing the driving, I can see why sometimes your son should make the arrangements for getting home. She's probably got no money because she's a teenager and is running a car! Maybe a taxi paid for by him is the best option.

Original poster
thefairyfellersmasterstroke · 04/04/2019 21:49

Why would it take them 10 but you 25 minutes? Isn't it the same round trip for you both?

They live in the opposite direction. They'd only have to drive to the bus-stop and back, whereas I'd have to drive to the bus-stop, then to her house, then back past the bus-stop and back to mine.

OP posts:
UrsulaPandress · 04/04/2019 21:51

Presusje gets fed up with driving your son around. So let him pay for a taxi.

How old are they?

NannyRed · 04/04/2019 21:53

What’s wrong with her parents? She is their responsibility. Go to bed.

Sweetpea55 · 04/04/2019 21:55

Get your son to pay for a taxi. Next time he ask you before the go out. Bit cheeky of him really

YAmILikeDis · 04/04/2019 21:55

Not good enough to sleep over at but good enough to drive her around?

Nope.

Original poster
thefairyfellersmasterstroke · 04/04/2019 21:56

She doesn't like staying with her boyfriend?! Something wrong there

Nah, she's just not happy that he only has a single bed (cruel old me won't buy a bigger house so he can have a bigger room to fit a double into).

OP posts:
GruciusMalfoy · 04/04/2019 21:58

Fuck that. She could sleep over at yours, it her parents could go and pick her up. It's not your responsibility.

Butteredghost · 04/04/2019 21:59

Well actually that's fair, I couldn't sleep in a single bed with another person either (I mean literally it would be impossible to fall asleep). What about an air mattress or the couch though?

LordNibbler · 04/04/2019 22:02

If she's old enough to drive a car, and she's old enough to go out drinking, she's certainly old enough to sort out her own transport home.
Not your problem.

Snog · 04/04/2019 22:05

If you are usually awake then I would give her a lift (unless I didn't like her 😝)

Also fine for her to stay at yours or to get a taxi though.

Skittlesandbeer · 04/04/2019 22:09

I’d say ‘sorry, no, you’ll have to sort yourselves or she’s welcome to our sofa.’

It’s rude of them to ask you so late in the peace. Feel free to add that if you’re given some decent notice (like 2-3 days) you might be more likely to consider it. But ‘going out for drinks’ doesn’t qualify for emergency mum taxi. Presumably they made the plan some time ago?

BummyKnocker · 04/04/2019 22:10

I wouldn't be going anywhere at midnight when I have to be up the next day. Tell her to get a taxi as you do it once and you'll be asked again.

I sense you don't like her though.

Ontheboardwalk · 04/04/2019 22:11

You really don’t like her do you?

Original poster
thefairyfellersmasterstroke · 04/04/2019 22:13

To respond to a few comments, she does drive him around a lot, but she hardly goes anywhere without her car. He pays for all her petrol (even when he's not out with her) and pays for everything when they go out as he is working and she is a student. Both 19.

Yes, it is a bit of cheek that the house isn't good enought but my car is - on this occasion at least! She has wrinkled her nose at the state of my car in the past, but I'm guessing she thinks beggars can't be choosers...

OP posts:
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