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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

not to give her a lift?

112 replies

thefairyfellersmasterstroke · 04/04/2019 21:40

Or am I being an unhelpful bitch?

We're talking about two teenagers here, both still living at home with parents

DS's girlfriend lives rurally with no public transport, and when they go out she usually takes her car to avoid walking home along a dark deserted country lane. DS doesn't drive.

Tonight they've gone into town and GF has left her car as she wants to have a drink. DS has asked me if I would meet them off the bus when they return, and drive GF home. I asked why her parents can't collect her, but apparently they need to sleep early because they are working tomorrow (so am I!). It would take them barely 10 minutes to do, whereas it will take me about 25.

They will be arriving back around midnight, and although I'm usually awake at this time, I don't especially want to be going out at that time of night to take her home so her parents can get their beauty sleep. But I don't have any excuse not to, I just don't want to and don't feel it's my responsibilty.

Would IBU to suggest she just gets a taxi? I know she has no money and my son would end up paying. What would you do?

OP posts:

Pk37 · 05/04/2019 18:23

It’s clear you don’t like her and if she’s always driving your ds around one favour from you is not going to kill you is it .
I don’t think she is the problem, I think you are .
Not surprised she doesn’t want to stay when you quite clearly despise her

HerRoyalNotness · 05/04/2019 18:28

It sounds like she is responsible and doing most of the driving, I’d do it, it’s not as if she’s asking every week

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 05/04/2019 21:00

My dad and his gf share a single bed when she stays over. It's not ideal but they seem to manage fine. I spent years as a student sleeping in a single with my boyfriend. Until kids move out of their parents houses they have to put up with the space available!
Her dad sounds like a total dick. Unfortunately when your kid dates someone with crap parents, you do end up doing more of the ferrying around.

I think you are right to do this as a one off favour for your son, but I'd have words about this not being your responsibility and in future she has a choice to stay or get a taxi home.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 05/04/2019 21:03

I also think it's irrelevant that the gf drives around the OP's son. She is driving her own bf places and he pays for all the petrol. She's hardly doing the OP any favours.
And I wouldn't like someone who looked disdainfully me while still expecting favours.

nelsonmuntzslingshot · 05/04/2019 21:09

Why can’t your son walk her home and then walk back home? When I was a teenager my boyfriend walked me home from the pub and then walked 4 miles across the town back to his own house.

lablablab · 05/04/2019 21:13

Nope. Once I'm in, I'm in. I'd hate going out at midnight in the cold if I've been in all evening and settled.

She can stay, get a taxi or ask her own parents.

Say sorry but you're very tired tonight so you're going to bed early.

MulticolourMophead · 05/04/2019 21:25

I also think it's irrelevant that the gf drives around the OP's son. She is driving her own bf places and he pays for all the petrol.

I was wondering why OP's son is paying all the petrol (apparently even when he's not with GF).

bourbonbiccy · 05/04/2019 21:54

Sounds like you are and your husband are not keen on her or her family to be honest.

Glad you decide to take her. I would definitely do it if you were awake at that time anyway. I fully expect to be doing things like that for my DS when he's older, just as my lovely mum did for me until I was ..well probably about 30Years old, if I was out she would pick me and all my mates up, but we were extremely close, and I hope to be the same with my son.

somuchinfo · 05/04/2019 22:40

I would Just say the offer to stay over is there if not it will have to be a taxi as you have work in the morning. There old enough to sort there own arrangements out.

RoboticSealpup · 05/04/2019 23:06

If they're old enough to drive a car, have sex and drink alcohol they're bloody well old enough to sort out their own transportation.

Downunderduchess · 05/04/2019 23:53

I would do it this time, as I would hate to think something might happen to her if she wasn't able to get home late at night. For whatever reason her parents won't pick her up, just do it for peace of mind, be the bigger person this time and let them know next time it's up to them to sort out their own transport when they go out. Can't believe her parents wouldn't want to make sure their daughter gets home safely, strange.

Yesicancancan · 06/04/2019 00:02

I’d do it this time, they must be twat parents if she can’t ask them to pick her up.
It’s a non issue really, the safety of kids is everyone’s responsibility what is she 17/19?? Still a babby! Have a heart.

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