To think parents evening is pointless

[Whatwaslostandfound]

God this sounds awful BUT

I never learn anything!
Ten years of
She's quiet, she struggles but she tries. She doesn't like to speak out in class etc.

She did have a complete wobbler of a year but I knew because school already communicate if there is a problem and a five minute slot can't cover this.

Last night was the first parents evening I've ever had (last one before GCSEs ) where I was told anything valuable where they had a literal breakdowns on what she needed to do to go up a grade in GCSE. This was fab!

Usually it feels like a waste of time.
Seriously send me the report home and add a bit on about what specifically they are struggling with , invite me in if there is an issue and save yourself four hours and that would have done me!

I do support her massively but I don't want to sit there once a term and be told the same thing for ten years.

I want to know what specifically I can do to help her and you don't have time for that in a tiny slot.

I'm a teacher. I think for 90% of parents it's a total waste of time and always have thought this.

Like you say, if anything major happens with your child, the school will have already communicated with the parents. 90% of our pupils come to school, behave, have no issues, try hard and their results are part of the report card. The 10% who do have issues, the parents are already aware of this and don't need to spend an evening being told this by multiple teachers in 5 minute slots.

There are of course a few exception, specific situations with a subject or something where a 5 minute chat would help. But for the vast majority - waste of time.

I find them useless. I get much better feedback and discussions when booking a 1:1 with teacher after school, or by emailing the teacher.

The problem is that the parents the teachers do need to see are the ones who dont got to parents evenings.

This lack of engagement may be because they arent interested or may be because the student has disengaged the parents.

I do wonder if parents evening is helped by having the student there. There shouldnt be anything new for the student. When I was at school my parents went without me (I can still remember the knot in the stomach waiting for them to come home afterwards)

The only useful meetings I've had with schools were with the senco. In fact a teacher once told me that only half of parents bother and the "wrong" parents attend.

I've found the year 1 and year 2 evenings very useful. My son's progress wasn't quite as fast as some of his peers, we discussed where he was struggling so we could better support at home. We met outside of the PE also but I found benefit in the meeting. He has suddenly switched on now so PE was largely all smiles and relief!

I have always found them useful in primary years, with dd3 in particular. It's nice to touch base twice a year and thank the teacher in person for their hard work and efforts.
At Secondary it's pointless. If I have a query I email in.

I've had a few that were useful. DS2 in year 3 massively picked up academically and we had "he's doing amazingly well" instead of no he's doing "okay".

DS1's last parents evening was informative too as we were considering moving his school as he'd had a poor Year 7, with very average/poor teaching. Apart from a couple who weren't great (one poor woman looked like she was going to have a nervous breakdown), the teachers were all very impressive and gave really detailed useful feedback.

The problem is that the parents the teachers do need to see are the ones who dont got to parents evenings.

^ This. That said parents evening is useful to me as it gives me the chance to find out more about what is happening in school as I have DCs who go to school and do absolutely nothing all day plus I like to know what I can do/provide at home to support their work, particularly at GCSE level with extra books etc.

I think it can be a waste of time. However on the other hand i think well its a good excuse for the oarents and teacher to meet each other. Especially in primary. The teacher can have a feel what their family life might be like if it effects their schooling. And the parents can see the teacher and be put at ease a bit

I think they are valuable, especially in secondary.The content runs on repeat:

DS1 is a smart boy but rushes his work. Improve spelling
DS2 is a good student but quiet.

There are always a few gems that I am happy to know, some bit of work that was particularly good. I like to meet the teachers and have a tiny insight into what my kid's days are like. I like knowing the teachers know my kid well and care about his progress. We're all working together to grow this child into an adult. I get they don't have lots of time for me, but I appreciate the 3-4 minute slot. It helps me support my child with homework, priorities, and also always strengthens my respect and support for the school.

On the other hand, once I had an unhappy child in secondary, and I could feel the negative vibe at parents evening. We moved his school. Parents evening gives parents a bit of insight into school culture.

From the flip side I don’t find doing them particularly helpful either. I teach in a school where we post an update about what we have done that week and what I’m planning to teach next week. Throughout the week I post photos of what the children are doing with an explanation. We have “family weeks” once a term where parents can come in to see lessons being taught in their child’s class. I speak to parents at the gate at the end of the day. If there is ever an issue I phone or message the parents and they do the same with me. We also have to write detailed end of year reports. I have no real need to do parent consultations and find them a waste of time and energy.

I think the other problem is that although a longer session is helpful, and perhaps emailing is good, it places a large burden on the teacher. If every parent wanted a one to one plus emailing then teachers would be spending hours and hours addressing that. The idea I suppose is to try and reduce that, to help the parents and teachers meet (as a face to face meeting can help with communication) and to give general pointers.
I've not got any in secondary yet so my meetings have been beneficial. But I know my colleagues in secondary mainly say that they don't often meet the parents they want to see, and certainly in years 7&8, there's not much to say unless there's a big problem in which case they have already been in contact.
I'm not sure what the solution is as if you do away with them you'll have parents complaining about not knowing what's happening at school.

One of my children appears to have an entirely different personality at school. I would have no idea that my lively, confident and very chatty little boy was struggling to speak at all at school and was being given extra help to join in if it were not for PE.

He is working above or at expectations, so his report alone would not give any indication of this.

In high school they are pointless.
Going to see 5/6 teachers and remembering what they've said etc.
Plus the actual way the whole thing is arranged makes my anxiety worse.

Everything is online now so why once a term etc teachers can't write a comment online instead of parents evening? Surely this would free up more time for them too.

I only go now if teachers have asked to see me.

Secondary teacher and parent here. Can be useful but mainly lots of repetition in my experience. Don't see it as pointless though. Otherwise, that is approx 120 parents' evenings over the years that have been a waste of time. I say what the child is doing well and next steps. I normally have test papers to show parents so there is something concrete to apply it to. I like it when the student attends too mainly. Most of our parents are incredibly supportive and it gives me insight and motivation.

If most parents do find it pointless though, I would be glad to just do targeted parent's evening or simply stay at home with my children (and marking!)

I find them useless. Never missed one. They tell me nothing I didn't already know.

I've stopped feeling guilty if I miss one, and now go at key points and if I have a concern. I'm abroad though and our secondaries don't communicate at all on a personal level with parents (as in they send out mass information emails but they don't call you or email individual parents about individual children except in truly exceptional circumstances). Primary does communicate more but frustratingly about minutiae not big issues most of the time!

As a teacher in the UK many years ago I used to dislike parents evenings because as a core subject teacher who taught 180 individual children I'd have back to back 5 minute appointments for 3 solid hours and still only have seen a tiny percentage of the parents. Obviously the ones I did see were the ones I didn't need to, as their dutiful, organised kids had got in first to make appointments! I did have to contact all the parents I actually needed to talk to separately by phone in my "free" time.

Terrible system really.

Ds has full time 1-1 so I am in daily communication with them and regular communication with Teacher and SENCO. We have parents evening tonight and I am just seeing it as a chance to look at his books!

I find a quick synopsis useful, especially when I hear the same message from several teachers - DD is generally doing good work but needs to work on writing structure more, etc. We then worked on writing techniques to give her better structure. What I absolutely don't get are the parents who spend 15-20 minutes with each teacher! What on earth are they discussing during all that time?

I love parents evening, it's my one chance a year to actually physically see where my kids go each day.
It helps when chatting with teens about school to have those tiny bits of insight into their teachers and allows me to back up the whole crazy system of ezams at peak hormone change.

I liked them as it gave me a little idea of what the teacher was like. I was able to see if they were interested in their job, had a positive attitude. Or as my ds constantly insisted a cold fish with no interpersonal skills.
Also it gave me a chance to let them know simple things that might improve the learning relationship. Eg my ds was very quiet in class and might seem disengaged. I was able to tell teacher my ds loved his subject and was very enthusiastic about his lessons..the truth. Suddenly that teacher took more interest in him resulting in ds getting highest grade possible in that subject.
Also l found at Secondary teachers weren't always aware of special needs as such a huge range of students so mentioning that and getting it onto their notes was helpful.
Finally l got to give my appreciation to one or two teachers who went beyond the call of duty with dd opening up a whole new interest for her.

As a teacher I found parents evening useful especially when the students also attended. It gives you a chance to speak to the student in a different way, without their peers there to impress. It also give you an insight into the parents and how supportive (or not) they are.
I agree for some students - the high achieving ones with no behaviour or academic concerns - it can be a bit pointless and probably repetitive but it's still nice for that student to have some individual praise from their teachers.

Yep they’re a waste of time. I messaged daughters teacher and asked her if I needed to come, how was my daughter going and is there anything we should work on with her. She told me straight. So much better and more efficient.

If you think they are useless, don't go.

As a teacher, I can say we would love to have just one fewer parent to cram into an exhausting evening, and definitely have no desire to chat to the ones who don't want to be there and think it's pointless!

Your comment about the only useful one being the one where you had a breakdown of how your child could go up a grade in GCSE was quite telling, though.

Disagree

I really value the chance to have 10 minutes to get more of a feel for how the teacher really thinks my children are doing