To think parents evening is pointless

[Whatwaslostandfound]

God this sounds awful BUT

I never learn anything!
Ten years of
She's quiet, she struggles but she tries. She doesn't like to speak out in class etc.

She did have a complete wobbler of a year but I knew because school already communicate if there is a problem and a five minute slot can't cover this.

Last night was the first parents evening I've ever had (last one before GCSEs ) where I was told anything valuable where they had a literal breakdowns on what she needed to do to go up a grade in GCSE. This was fab!

Usually it feels like a waste of time.
Seriously send me the report home and add a bit on about what specifically they are struggling with , invite me in if there is an issue and save yourself four hours and that would have done me!

I do support her massively but I don't want to sit there once a term and be told the same thing for ten years.

I want to know what specifically I can do to help her and you don't have time for that in a tiny slot.

I hear what you say but my daughter's last PE was incredibly useful. She's had some issues this year with depression and anxiety that many of the teachers were only vaguely aware of but we were able to put them all in the picture and that has helped to improve her time at school considerably (in terms of giving her the support she needs to do better).

She also didn't want us to see more than half of the teachers as she thought that the reports from the others would be terrible, but we were able to report back that save for the issues she was already aware of the reports from all of the teachers were very positive. This has been a help.

The only time a parents evening has been useful is before they start doing their GCSE's.
I am always kept in the loop with regards to their work and class attitude by regular emails every term.
I go to them anyway as it's no skin off my nose but it's such a waste of the poor teachers time.

It’s the only time I get to talk to the teacher virtually! Got a couple of well behaved, medium achievers who get ignored as they aren’t super bright and they aren’t struggling. This is the only time I get feedback!

Agree they are an utter waste of time.

There was a thread on here a few weeks ago, where someone had received a letter from the school, saying 'parent's evening is 2pm til 7pm on 3rd April' (or something similar.) And you WILL come. NO EXCUSES as everyone will be able to come at some point during these hours!'

Very presumptuous to assume everyone would be able to come.

I would have refused even if I COULD come -after receiving that letter.

I go to glare at the naughty ones who disrupt my childs learning! Joking. Maybe!

I have always found them very useful.
I go in knowing what I want to find out or say. (e.g. next area to work on, or us point out difficulties in class).

In secondary it has been great for the DDs to hear praise directly from the teacher. Especially for DD2 who finds school hard but her hearing, in front of us, how pleased the teacher is with how she is working, is really motivating for her.

I always found them useful. At high school in particular it gives some context to the conversations I'd have with my child. Even just seeing the teacher and getting a sense of what they are like is helpful.

I appreciate the time teachers take to prepare for and participate in parents evening.

I've never been to one as a parent. When I was at school one of my parents would take us out for dinner on our parents evenings (instead of attending the parents evening) on our own. I was in a big family and it was lovely to get one to one time, and a meal out, once a year, it felt very grown up. We would talk about school and friends and siblings and I loved it.

(Disclaimer: We were totally 'average' in our schooling though in terms of behaviour, attainment, ability, additional needs and I expect this made possible. The teachers knew my parents well and would have discussed anything unusual as and when required.)

I find them useful.

My DC are the kind who (so far!) get on well with no interference, so it's rare that I even see their teachers. I really appreciate the chance to chat to them and ask questions, even if I don't really learn anything new.

I've found them useful to: bolster children's sense of self worth and motivation (having the teacher say good things about you to your parent is powerful ime); getting a sense of the teachers at secondary (helped me understand my child's responses to a couple of teachers); sometimes hearing specifics around learning I might not have expected and also coming up jointly with solutions to issues that the teacher hadn't considered (esp with a child with some SN). Our termly feedback is pretty topline only (which I am fine with - my sense is that trying to get detailed written feedback at secondary isn't a great use of teachers time). I'm very grateful that we haven't moved totally to email and reports, and for the teachers who give up their time.

I would have refused even if I COULD come -after receiving that letter.

So you are prepared to miss out on hearing how your child is getting on at school by behaving like a 5 year old who is sulking?

I make a point of going to every parents evening no matter what. It is important to me to connect with my children's teachers and find out what they have to say and, equally importantly, it lets their teachers and them see that their education is important to me.

I agree OP. Completely pointless.

My kids behave well at school. But I don’t need to hear this from every single teacher throughout the evening repeatedly.

Sometimes when your kids just keep themselves to themselves, the teacher has nothing to say about them because unlike the naughty kids, they just blend into the background.

one of my parents would take us out for dinner on our parents evenings (instead of attending the parents evening) on our own. I was in a big family and it was lovely to get one to one time, and a meal out, once a year
That’s so lovely! A really nice idea

I’m a teacher and I really like parents evenings. I like meeting the parents and chatting to them, and I sometimes you get a parent coming that you really do need to see and it’s useful. The majority of parents that turn up I don’t need to see as their kids are fine, but I think it’s quite nice with my quiet hard workers to get a chance to tell their parents how well they’re doing and to tell them as they don’t always get as much of my attention as I’d like in lessons! I think it’s just quite nice to put faces to people.

'Your comment about the only useful one being the one where you had a breakdown of how your child could go up a grade in GCSE was quite telling, though.'

Theonlylivingboy.
Why? When your SN child is 1 point or 3 points in mocks off getting a level 4 which will mean the difference between having to resit her exams and having to struggle versus getting passes which will mean she doesn't have to struggle so much what's the problem with wanting to know what you can do to help her

Secondary school parents evenings have been very useful for us and I really appreciate that time and effort that staff put in to them. They are well organised, staff have always had sensible, personalised comments to hand, and there have been many useful insights into how things are going, resources which our children could be using and areas where they need to pull their socks up.

And it's interesting to observe the dynamics between student and teacher, which sometimes helps me understand grumbles that I hear at home. The "scary, horrible, strict teacher" turns out to be someone who understand my stroppy 13 year old very well and clearly has her best interests at heart. And very occasionally it has become clear that a particular teacher is a bit overstretched and out of their comfort zone and it might be wise to find ways of supporting that particular subject at home.

My parents never went to PE when I was at senior school (too long ago to remember whether they went when I was at primary or middle school - possible as we went to local schools then but travelled for senior school). Termlynschool reporta were how they found out how we were getting on at school - they not worked full time and not necessarily office hours so PE was rarely convenient for them.

In response to the example about everyone can attend at some point between 2-7pm, I was at my busiest during that window while I was a care worker and wouldn’t get paid if I didn’t work so that letter would have gone in the bin in my house too!!

Our son's parent's evenings have suddenly become really useful as they now want our son to come with us. He gets far more out of it than we do.

When he first started, it was the usual "parents only" evening, and it was the "same old, same old", i.e. everything's fine, he's doing well, a bit quiet in class, etc., but pretty pointless for all concerned really.

When he was in year 9, they changed it so that the pupils were expected to attend. Rather than the teacher talking to us, it became the teacher talking to our son with us as third wheels! He came away absolutely buzzing, he thoroughly enjoyed it. He said he liked the way it was literally the first time, he'd had a 1-2-1 conversation with his teachers when they weren't in their usual "shouty" or "dictating" role in the classroom. The teachers were giving him proper feedback which he said he never got in the classroom.

It's been the same since - he looks forward to the parents' evenings. Same happened this year in Lower 6th. He has a teacher he's hated, as he's always shouty and whingy at the class, complaining that they aren't doing enough research, not doing homework etc. On the way in, he actually said to us that he doesn't even think Mr X knows who he is. Mr X in reality produced a few essays and went through them with DS fairly quickly, saying how impressed he was, how mature the essays were written, etc. It's given DS a real boost and he now loves the subject, even though he says Mr X is still shouty and complaining all the time.

It's meant so much more to our DS to get proper 1-2-1 feedback from the teacher outside the classroom, than he ever got from a few ticks on a page or a good comment/score in his end of term reports.

*termly school reports -not the gobbledegook posted above!!

I'm a bit upset at the idea that teachers don't want/ need to see the parents who attend. The chance to get an insight (however small) into your childs school experience is very important to me even if DC is doing ok. It is usually the side comments about the class dynamics which are the most helpful in understanding (and explaining) what is going on. At secondary school these opportunities are rare.

As a former teacher and a parent, parents evenings are important for building relationships. You see more context about the pupil's life with their teacher/ family.

I can ask questions that aren't covered by written feedback which tends to be focused on formal targets. You can talk about the "little things". The DCs school (primary) has two parents evenings and an end of year report and it feels like a long time between the February PE and July report. I am fortunate to go to the school gates these days, but it felt so isolated when DS1 was in yR and deposited at wrap around care at 8am and claimed at 17:55 each day.

You can have a civilised 1:1 conversation with pupils. Many times, I've had pupils sort themselves out after parents evening over something minor and niggling that didn't really warrant a phonecall home and was better suited to a face to face conversation.

Even if it's just telling a parent how lovely their generally good egg lovely kid is, it's nice to be able to tell them that when typically they are the ones who recieve least of the personal touch in a busy classroom. Sometimes it's nice and quite affirming when it's all the "wrong" parents come and you get a night to celebrate the positives.

I have found secondary school ones great, have lots of feedback on what she did well and what to do to improve, but the school wants the pupil there too and it’s more of a two way with the teacher/pupils with parents there.
I saw a guide on parents evening though, and what kind of things to ask (not sure if it came from the school) which one I started asking more got the feedback we needed

I also think it gives the teacher an insight on the pupil by meeting the parents (I know it has with dd’s Sociology teacher - she now sees where dd gets her sideways thinking from and feminist thinking!)

As a teacher I found parents evening useful especially when the students also attended.

Our school introduced this and I was sceptical. But it turned out to very productive.

My biggest bugbear is when the teacher asks DC "how do you think it's going". I'm interested in how the teacher thinks it's going not spending half the allocated 10 minutes hearing what I hear at home anyway.

Though if DC were a little more honest (ie the teacher hates me and can't control the class, etc) the chat would be more interesting