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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Can he take me to court to stop me breast feeding?

111 replies

Breastfeedingworries · 02/04/2019 23:50

Okay for the first time I’ve name changed.

I’ve been getting threats to stop breast feeding and that my dds father wants to take me to court over it. (Sounds ridiculous, and would be funny) but as he’s her father and getting all stressed and worried and reading all different things which say Mother’s can be asked to pump and express ect.

She’s 4 months old and breast fed, I have introduced some formula (dare not tell him) but it’s just helping her at nights as she was waking so much too feed. It’s working well so far just filling her up. Before the last few days she was just breast fed but I felt like I was feeding every 2 hours and evenings I’ve always seemed to have a low supply.

Anyway he wants me to stop as wants her every other weekend. At the moment he has her every Wednesday all day, I agreed to it but he’s only had her for two wednesdays alone so far. I had to express while he had her which was limiting like 10/12/2/4 but I didn’t mind.

He wants the kind of access I would think he’d get when she’s school age, every other weekend nights in the week. I just don’t know what I should allow at her age and what’s reasonable. I want him to have relationship. We’ve had ups and downs but I’ve taken her to his families for events and let him see her whenever he can as well as his wednesdays.

He turned very nasty day before mother’s day and is sending me horrid messages. Says I’m getting a letter from solicitor, (his Mum says he’s not spoken to one) but he’s threatening that he has. He’s saying he’ll stop all payments ect until he’s on birth certificate. (So weirdly he has no rights at the moment but I was happy for him to go on it, I thought he was sorting it out)

I’m just all in a muddle and pretty upset.

What should I do? 😞

OP posts:

mathanxiety · 05/04/2019 05:45

He is not looking for quality time.

He is looking for the satisfaction of playing the game of 'keep away'.

Dreamingofkfc · 05/04/2019 06:57

Weaning onto solids doesn't mean you'll not need to feed as much. With my three they've fed just as much but just meant as they've got older they feed less when out due to distractions.

I wouldn't have thought any court will make you stop breastfeeding but if you're happy to use formula for your convenience then can't he whilst he has her?

MoreSlidingDoors · 05/04/2019 07:04

I have introduced some formula (dare not tell him) but it’s just helping her at nights as she was waking so much too feed. It’s working well so far just filling her up. Before the last few days she was just breast fed but I felt like I was feeding every 2 hours and evenings I’ve always seemed to have a low supply.

Absolutely normal. Using formula to top her up will reduce your supply.

MoreSlidingDoors · 05/04/2019 07:05

My BIL went through this. He didn’t get overnight access until his son was over 18 months. Access was fitted around feeding (ie an hour or 2 every other day) up to 1, then half days etc.

katmarie · 05/04/2019 07:34

He clearly knows nothing about babies and hasn't bothered to research of he thinks weaning is magically done at six months. My ds is 14 months and only really eating enough food now to reduce his reliance on milk for his calories. He still sometimes has good days and bad days too, especially if hes feeling unwell or very tired. But until he was about one, most of his nutrition came from milk, which I think is pretty normal.

FrozenMargarita17 · 05/04/2019 07:39

He is looking for the satisfaction of playing the game of 'keep away'.

This, op.

Acis · 05/04/2019 08:05

He's only being nice because the solicitor has told him he doesn't have a hope in hell of stopping breastfeeding and that trying to bully you will be used against him.

I hope you've contacted CSA?

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 05/04/2019 08:58

Thehop · 05/04/2019 12:36

Don’t let him. Ring nice stop you going to CMS for maintainence. You don’t want the threat of it stopping every time he’s in a mood.

ChristmasFluff · 05/04/2019 17:58

I'd just like to point out once more that no judge will do anything regarding a man who is not named on the birth certificate. He has no rights at all until he has proved paternity, and him being nice right now is probably because he's had legal advice that has told him that

NorthernBirdAtHeart · 05/04/2019 18:14

Using formula for a late night feed doesn’t have to reduce supply if you’re feeding and expressing regularly.

Nothing else to add to some sound advice above OP other than good luck to you

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