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AIBU?

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Original poster

To feel sad for this teacher?

106 replies

Beargrin · 02/04/2019 15:10

This teacher was sacked because one of her pupils saw a topless picture of her. She sent the picture to her partner two years ago and somehow the pupil got it. It seems so unfair that her whole career has been ruined. Surely lots of reputable women have taken nudes, someone should have been punished but I don't feel like it should be her.

Reading the comments on social media is so sad. People calling her a 'slag' and even a pedophile.

Link: www.google.co.uk/amp/s/nypost.com/2019/04/01/teacher-claims-she-was-fired-over-nude-selfie-to-boyfriend/amp/

OP posts:
CanILeavenowplease · 02/04/2019 17:59

Our kids are in a Catholic school, so yes, it wouldn't go unnoticed if an unmarried teacher was pregnant

The reality of even strongly Catholic schools (and I have worked in a couple) is that unmarried staff get pregnant. It is not a disciplinary issue and as far as I have ever heard, it is not even a gossiping issue. It is a fact of modern life.

WhichSchoolForDS · 02/04/2019 17:59

There's a reason we have revenge porn laws in the UK. If people want to send naked pictures of themselves to a partner they should be able to do so. If that image is distributed the partner is to blame.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 02/04/2019 18:02

MrAverage do you think teaching at a catholic school requires staff to be modest and asexual?

Deadringer · 02/04/2019 18:03

it wouldn't bother me that much if a female teacher fell pregnant outside of marriage this is a joke right?

Original poster
Beargrin · 02/04/2019 18:05

Average I went to a Catholic school and had a very different experience to what you describe. Most of our teachers weren't Catholic and we wouldn't have known if they were married anyway. You have very strange attitudes.

@LaurieFairyCake that's awful! Why aren't teachers protected. The child should be punished.

OP posts:
LipstickHandbagCoffee · 02/04/2019 18:06

As I said I went to catholic school,unmarried staff got pg (pupils too)
Regard the pg staff,no sanctions were taken,they returned unmarried after mat leave
A few parents were tutty and no doubt rattled the rosaries about it
Everyone else,it was no big deal

brighteyeowl17 · 02/04/2019 18:08

So much teacher bashing! Bet if it was those of you criticising it happens to it would be a different story! Teachers are humans too. Things happen in their lives. Often before they became teachers. Being a teacher doesn’t mean becoming a lifeless robot. Although most of us feel like them.

And they are all to drink wine on a school
Night ;)

BeatNickBeamer · 02/04/2019 18:08

This thread has gone insane! Instead of properly funding schools we should just have absolutely loads of PTA events? Or just have parents buy everything out of pocket? What about tables and chairs? (Don't pay don't get to sit down?) At least in my school it's the PTA who manage the funds raised by the PTA not the school and goes for nice extras like playground equipment (for which I'm grateful!) not essentials like books and staff. I think we can appreciate the work of the PTA while also expressing an opinion on the cost of events no?

BeatNickBeamer · 02/04/2019 18:08

Opps sorry wrong thread!

AverageMan · 02/04/2019 18:10

I would expect teachers to set the best possible example to children, as per the ethos of the school. Keep their sex life in the bedroom. It's really not that difficult.

BeatNickBeamer · 02/04/2019 18:12

I would expect teachers to set the best possible example to children, as per the ethos of the school. Keep their sex life in the bedroom. It's really not that difficult.

Their sex life is none of your business and you have no right to dictate a teacher's private life. WE can barely recruit enough teachers as it is. If someone distributes a private image that person should be prosecuted the teacher should not have to suffer - they've done nothing wrong.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 02/04/2019 18:14

Beat I think you’re looking for the PTA are a bunch of vacuous horrors thread➡️➡️➡️

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 02/04/2019 18:15

MrAverage I’m not a teacher I struggle to Keep my sex life in the bedroom. It's really quite difficult.

Chocolate35 · 02/04/2019 18:23

I think it’s really sad and unfortunate.
As for the pregnant and unmarried comments I am pleased to say kids really don’t care. I was the unmarried, pregnant year 2 teacher and the kids were excited that there was a real baby in my belly and they saw it moving and growing. They could not care less that I was unmarried, when and in which circumstances people should have families are views held by (some) adults, not children.

PurpleDaisies · 02/04/2019 18:24

Keep their sex life in the bedroom. It's really not that difficult.
What has my sex life got to do with my pupils? Hmm

RabbityMcRabbit · 02/04/2019 18:36

Would that be all teachers AverageMan, or just the female ones???

Original poster
Beargrin · 02/04/2019 18:57

@AverageMan she did keep her sex life in the bedroom though, her ex took it out of the bedroom and yet he doesn't seem to have been punished. This picture was from 2 years ago. She hasn't set a bad example at all, she's a victim.

OP posts:
Vulpine · 02/04/2019 19:09

So perhaps the message to teach our girls is that if you don't send naked pics of yourself it simply can't happen to you.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 02/04/2019 19:13

The onus is solely not upon women to moderate their behaviour or WhatsApp
The message would also be to the recipient,don’t be spiteful and share a private picture
Women don’t need to be chaste and asexual in case someone blackmail them

PurpleDaisies · 02/04/2019 19:16

So perhaps the message to teach our girls is that if you don't send naked pics of yourself it simply can't happen to you.

And your girls are perfect are they? Boone makes a mistake? No one is coerced by a dodgy boyfriend? Hmm

KismetJayn · 02/04/2019 19:22

What about people in long distance relationships?
They're more possible nowadays simply because it's feasible to keep the spark alive thanks to sexting, pics etc

Back in the day people wrote filthy letters.

It's not always stupid to send nudes, especially if there's a relationship you're maintaining, but it's always a disgusting breach of trust to share them around.

SachaStark · 02/04/2019 19:27

With current technology, the taking of nude selfies isn't even necessary in the process of publicly humiliating a teacher. I have worked in no less than THREE schools where students made pornopgraphic pictures using regular photos of their teachers, downloaded images and very basic photoshop software. It's not hard. Then used them to start a public "meme" Instagram account to share them and say what they hated about the staff.

The real lesson should be: using sexuality as a basis to punish women- don't fucking do it.

Vulpine · 02/04/2019 19:39

Yep absolutely and the onus is also on us to raise sons who don't use women's sexuality against them

AhhhHereItGoes · 02/04/2019 19:54

My ex showed a video he took of me without my knowledge to several people and I have no idea if it's online or not. I was 17.

The humiliation I felt was next to nothing.

If you are going to send rude selfies just put the rude bit in without face in, so can't prove it's you.

Women should not be ashamed of their sexuality. What they do outside of the classroom is none of the other staff, students or parents business unless it's so easy to access (page 3 spread) or it's illegal.

CanILeavenowplease · 02/04/2019 20:00

perhaps the message to teach our girls is that if you don't send naked pics of yourself it simply can't happen to you

The teacher in question was a grown woman. An adult. Not a girl. Entitled to a consenting sex life with any adult or adults she chooses. Taking and sending photos is normal, a part of some people’s sex lives.

Would you suggest to a male teacher he Shouldn’t take nude photos of himself?

Why stop at teachers? What about doctors, nurses, social workers...? Should it be written into job descriptions that your work place reserves the right to look into your sex life?

What does whether or not a teacher sends nude pics to her partner have to do with her capabilities in the classroom? Is a male teacher similarly judged on his teaching?

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