to think loo paper is what it's called

[HepzibahHumbug]

AIBU to think asking a 5 year old to say toilet tissue is a horrible genteelism?

It's loo paper, and you flush it down a loo.

Also, has anyone else noticed how dusty it is?

I vote for "toilet". The signs at Gatwick point the way to "toilets", it's a far more universal term in the English-speaking world than "lavatory" which is only used by a fraction of the population of a single country. "Loo" doesn't even sound like a valid word, I've always seen it as a coy expression used by people who are too embarrassed to say the actual word they should be using.

I once saw a documentary in which a RP-speaking professor asked her young child if he needed to shit, I think that was very conscious choice of language.

Toilet roll/loo roll here. Have always been bought up to say "pardon" instead of "what" as well. Had a friend whose dad sais "I'm sorry Mrs Brown and how are you?" if any one farted. Very strange.

Toilet tissue/paper here. But the toilet shower is called the bum gun.

How about the rather lovely 'shit tickets'?

Haha i LOVE this!!

Toilet/loo roll here. A tissue is something you blow your nose on and comes in a clever concertina, the stuff you wipe your bum with is on a roll therefore toilet/loo roll! Unless you’re still buying that old fashioned wax paper stuff in which case you can call it what you like but I won’t be using it.

Can’t say I’ve noticed it being dusty, but then I don’t tend to take it off the roll so fast that the dust visibly flies everywhere so perhaps I’m just not reaching terminal toilet roll velocity.

Oh and the the word “bog” is horrid unless you’re referring to a peaty quagmire frequently located on the moors!

My MIL says tiss-you.

She also says syoootcase. For suitcase.

“Loo” is a horrible word, makes me cringe but I don’t know why! It’s toilet roll in this house.

She also says syoootcase. For suitcase
Ah yes, but how does she say “cool whip”?

Quintella yes, he was rather! He died 12 years ago and I still miss his funny prissy words for things.

He once accused me, beside himself with apoplectic rage, of leaving one of my LADIES THINGS on the stairs. It turned out that my 250 year old aunt (convalescing with us) had absent mindedly left a sanitary belt and one of those long incontinence pads with the loops on, inexplicably on the stairs. I gathered it up but my mother found it hysterical that he thought it was mine, I was about 15!

Toilet tissue?! I’ve never heard it called that. It’s toilet roll or bog roll.

Since when did not having a mortgage make you posh?

Since she inherited the country pile and the London bolthole, you peasant.

She also says syoootcase. For suitcase
Ah yes, but how does she say “cool whip”?

I wouldn’t know!

Loo roll or toilet roll in this house.

I don't have a mortgage either. Does that
make me posh?

I do rent though so that's why I don't have a mortgage.

Oh.....
You mean it's paid off already? Yes that's very fucking posh that

Or you live in a caravan.

elQuintoConyo - ooooh yuk you gottem all in one post there

Lavvy roll.

I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone IRL who says “lavatory”. that really does surprise me. It’s fairly common.

Posh doesn’t mean rich though does it?

Yes toilet paper, toilet roll or bog roll.

Also my Dad and various people I've known haven't "passed" or "passed away" they died, and are dead.

I don’t mind if using the word toilet marks me out as being non upper class, because I’m not upper class 🤷🏻‍♀️. I imagine approximately 98% of those posting on mumsnet are also not upper class.
I imagine there are many signifiers which mark me out as being ‘non-u’ way before we get round to discussing toilets.

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis, actually I do remember a girl at primary school telling us that lavatory was another word for toilet. I thought it sounded like a type of tree.

Is it used more up North? I seem to remember it being in a book called the Machine-Gunners, by Robert Westall.

Turd wipers gets written on our shipping list. Oh so classy!

Lavatory paper, or loo roll colloquially. Never, ever the ‘T’ word.
Most people I know say lavatory.

The term ‘toilet tissue’ is so ridiculously twee it would make most people spray wine all over their supper.

I met someone once who called it the lavoratory (like laboratory) Patrick, are you on this thread?

Pps, thank you. I haven't laughed so hard for ages

we call it toilet paper but years ago i knew someone who called it shit wipers(he was rough)

we call it Andrew because our daughter mis-read it when she was about four and asked why the toilet paper was called Andrew like her uncle. So Andrex will always be a roll of Andrew to us.