to think loo paper is what it's called

[HepzibahHumbug]

AIBU to think asking a 5 year old to say toilet tissue is a horrible genteelism?

It's loo paper, and you flush it down a loo.

Also, has anyone else noticed how dusty it is?

Bog/loo/toilet but always roll

actually I do remember a girl at primary school telling us that lavatory was another word for toilet. I thought it sounded like a type of tree.

My sister went to Australia many years ago and went on a tour. All the way along, the 'hilarious' Aussie guide tried to make a huge effort of drumming up excitement about this amazing tree that they would come to right at the end - it has such a unique purpose and is considered essential to modern life; everybody is always so overjoyed to see it.

Of course, they finished the tour and cue a ridiculously hammed up "Ladies and gentlemen - I present to you THE LAVA-TREE!!!!!!!!!!"

The best of all was that the majority of the group was French and they had their own translator with them so, whilst the small number of native English speakers groaned condescendingly, the poor unwitting French translator had the dubious pleasure of letting them all down; but they still didn't get that it was a pathetic attempt at a joke and were all frantically looking around for this amazing tree that they couldn't see.

Arse wipe .

Toilet roll here
Toilet tissue is a bit odd

"Loo roll" or "bog roll" here. Or if I'm in a vulgar mood there's "arsewipe".

"Toilet paper" is reasonable but "toilet tissue" is pretentious.

Loo paper - toilet is naff - bog is vulgar

loo roll
or possibly toilet paper

tissues are what you blow your nose on

Toilet paper, toilet roll, loo roll or shit tickets in this house

(only DP regularly says shit tickets)

Oooh I love these threads! Those of you who said they don't like 'toilet', what do you say when your child has learned it somewhere and asks why not? Surely if you're honest and say it sounds non-U, depending on their age kids either don't get it or laugh at you?

Same as you say if they call your sofa a settee....”oh you mean the sofa”. What do you say if your child calls your toilet a loo/bog/whatever? It’s not like they’re swearing.

It was fun all and good to get over the whole loo/toilet/crapper thing
Goodbye x

bog roll

Oh no! But soon as I wrote last post I remembered my uncle who called a shit a brown gentleman
Can someone else start that thread?

Andrex in this house. Even though we didn’t have a particular brand. No idea why or when that started.
It is very dusty, fibres flying off when you tear the sheets but we buy Cheeky panda bamboo rolls now as trying to be eco friendly, there is no dust and it has helped make the bathroom less dusty in between cleans.

Toilet roll or toilet paper here.
And yes I've noticed how 'dusty' it is especially as I've got black floor tiles in the bathroom.

@hipstercat Children are perfectly capable of understanding different rules apply in different settings. You simply tell them that we don’t say toilet, we say lavatory.

Ours all say lavatory as do most of our friends and their children so they grow up knowing which is the preferred term. One boyfriend used to say the T word but has changed to the correct term of his own volition. People tend to settle to norms.
The dreadful expression “Pardon me” was harder. One TA had a real thing about ‘manners’ and was insistent on the children saying it at every opportunity. It is a phrase that would only be said in a very silly voice usually but she was serious. Luckily they only had her for a year.

Are you upper class, CherryPavlova?

Pardon me is awful

@SoyDora That’s entirely dependent on your definition, isn’t it? There was a survey around 2012/2013 where seven classes were agreed as the social construct of today’s U.K. society. There was no upper class.

“the correct term”

Lavatory will never win - far too many syllables for the place people go to have a crap.

I never know what people mean by upper class either.. Is it just someone you feel is socially superior to yourself? What does that even mean?

I was just asking . I know I’m not upper class. We are a fairly high income family now but my grandparents were certainly very working class. I’d say we’re lower middle. So it doesn’t really matter if I use non-U words like toilet I don’t suppose.

But it doesn’t “matter” anyway. Do people honestly say “non-U”, or even think it? Is there “non-L” or “non-M”.? Surely you want to sound like who you are and that’s a mixture of inherited language from your family, and squired language from your environment?

What if saying and thinking "non-U" is inherited from family and sounds like who you are?

I don't actually think "non-U" when DP's parents come round and say "I must pay a visit"; but I do have to suppress a twitch and think "Just say you're going to the loo!"